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I traveled to NY six times to the tune of $8,000 moving my father to FL. Which when it came to the final move realized that it would be impossible for him to live alone in his house, so we brought him to our house on a temporary basis. Then I realized that it appeared that he wants to live in my spouse and mine house permanently for FREE while he sends whatever little money he has left over each month to a sister in NY. I put my foot down and told him no way I was going to take care of him for free while he sends money to NY. He does absolutely NOTHING for himself acting as if he is in a five star hotel. He is rude, and he tries to come between me and spouse by asking my spouse to stop, buy him lotto etc. I told him he needs to go live in his own home. Meanwhile I have other siblings who he wants to leave proceeds from the sale of his house when he dies, when they aren't doing a damn thing for him. I have grown to dislike him considering that he was not much of a father to me when I was growing up. I had asked him if he had funeral arrangements and his nasty response was that will be the problem for the person who buries him. I thought really well you did not help me and my sister with funeral arrangements for our mother so as far as I am concerned I will not be putting myself in anymore debt trying to help him. I managed his home in Orlando, FL for nine years for FREE but now I told him I want to be paid for all the money my spouse and I have spent on the house he now wants to leave for three of us...one sister and one half sister. The half sister doesn't even call to see how he is doing. I am fed up and want him out of my house NOW!!!!!! He is very demanding...you offer him papaya or cantaloupe he responds...do you have fruit cocktail? I said if I had fruit cocktail I would have offered it to you. He doesn't pay for any of the food he eats and he eats better than me. I can work because I have to be at his beck and call and cleaning up behind him!!!!! Totally depressed and just want to RUN Away!!!!

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It's time for an AL. Don't think he can live alone.
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Well, you know what you need to do. Good for you! How can we help you?

You know that the will is totally meaningless until he dies. And only what is actually left can be divided. Unless he can actually find somewhere he can live for free, he is going to have to use money as long as he is alive. If he needs Medicaid the state will put a lien on his house.

You do your thing, runaway.
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Answer to all responses...the house is in Orlando...I live in Fort Lauderdale...three and half hours away. We told him to sell the house and buy something closer to us and then it would be better for both my sister and I to keep an eye on him. He complains about being around other old people that if they limp he will start to limp...he shuffles...he doesn't walk properly anymore. He is stubborn...why he insists on living his house to four people when he needs the funds from the sale of the house to live off...I have a plan and whether he likes it or not that is what is going to happen as I never had any biological children of my own so I will not have the luxury of anyone catering to me the way I am catering to him. He thinks he knows it all and I just laugh because now he is realizing that in the past he bullied people into doing what he wanted...that is what he did to mom...well now he is not getting his own way...because every time he tries something I put him in his place. He is feeble and he fell back in February so he is still trying to getting around but I think he is playing us. I have caught him on occasions out of the bed. Oh my spouse is a pilot and flies a lot I noticed when he comes home my dad starts to act like he is sick. I just needed to vent and get it off my chest but I know exactly what needs to be done and if he doesn't agree then he can go live in his house where there is no transportation, no grocery store close by, no doctors office close by...no way to get his lotto etc....and though he has a drivers license I would not trust him driving at all!!!
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Having arranged care for a mom who was grateful for EVERYTHING we did for her, and who did her best for us as a parent, I just can't imagine moving a parent who didn't take care of me as a kid, and who is now presenting in an ungrateful, demanding way. I just don't understand what drives folks to do this kind of hands on care in the absence of "niceness".
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I think she moved him to Fl to move into house in Orlando she has been taking care of. Is the Fl home near enough to you and sisters that anyone could check on him?
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Why can't dad live independently? Has his doctor, or someone else, assessed that he needs 24/7 supervision?

I think it's time to get him back to NY and into his home. Call the local Area Agency on Aging in NY and have them do an in-home assessment of his needs. They can help him access services.
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So you brought him to your house "on a temporary basis" because you didn't think he could live alone in his house. What impairments does he have that made you think he couldn't live alone, and what was the original plan for moving him out? Were you looking for home help for him? Were you planning to sell his house and use the money to fund his stay in a facility?

I think an inheritance should be the farthest thing from anybody's mind right now. His funds should be paid for his own care. Regardless of the original plans, you clearly want him out. If he can't live alone, he needs another place to go. Where to put him and how to pay for it should be the focus now.
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You don’t have to have anyone living with you that you’d don’t desire there. This isn’t a good situation for either you or your dad. It’s time to research the options and discuss with him which he’d like to do, stating that continuing on in your home isn’t an option. Sounds like the house needs to be sold to pay for his new living situation, wherever that may be. Who has POA or has that even been put in place?
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It's still cold where I live, can I come live at your house in FL for free too? 😉
(sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and laugh 🤗 )
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