She had him sell a house that was to go to my husband and sister. My husband’s Aunt left it to them before she passed taking my father in law off the will. He was the executor of her first will and gave him an original copy of her new will. When she died he filed the first will neglecting to probate the second will. My father in law has told my husband and his best friend that the house is yours go to his son and daughter. Now that my father in law has dementia and can’t remember or make anything or drive she has him changing his beneficiaries to add her and her kids to it, had him sell the aunts house in the caymans and she kept the money. When my husband asked his dad why he sold the cayman island house he said he didn’t! His second wife and sister got total quite!!then you couldn’t understand anything he was saying. His second wife wife told me last year that people with dementia don’t last long. And he isn’t suppose to be in a high altitude! But she has him in one anyway! Keeping him isolated and not interacting with anyone like he should. They live in a very small town that doesn’t even have a grocery store or Walgreens. He can’t work his phone and every time we try calling we get no answer. Ana is days when we finally get him. She leaves him home by himself and goes an hour away to shop all day long. She doesn’t cook him breakfast. When we have been up there during December the last 4-5 years. She took him off his dementia medication. She told me he is supposed to be doing some type of work for his memory but she stopped that several years back. Now that he can’t remember or make decisions she has him changing all of his finances adding herself to them and anything else she can get her hands on. They have told us for years that his money is his and hers is hers. If he wanted her on his finances why didn’t he add her to them years ago! Now that he has no clue she is helping herself to it all!! we need help and the best lawyer that can help us wirh this mess. One who can practice in New Mexico and Texas. My husband asked her back in May face to face with his dad there why the house sold in cayman and she lied to him saying it didn’t ! When my husband had contacted the land office to place a notice on the property to keep it from selling only to get a letter back saying it had already sold! and it looks like she forged his signature on the sale of house. She told my husband that she didn’t know anything about him or his sister getting the house which she has known! They made a quick trip to the caymans back in March to start the sale. I had been asking her for years that we wanted to go the next time they went to cayman to let us know. But her daughter goes every time and we don’t get an offer. My husband has a lot of relatives that live there and he has citizenship there as well. The last time they came in I asked about all of us going to cayman and she flipped shit on me and had this scary face and mean voice. I got up and left! Thinking back now that’s when they made that short trip to sell the house!! Gee !!!!she had him going to Austin and him paying out of pocket $5,000.00 a month for some treatment that is NOT FDA Approved! After 8 months of this treatment she finally told my husband that and I that he was even doing it. she has him missing months and not going to have his infusions even had him miss one month to make him go in a two week cruise with her sister and husband. We are never included in his heath issues or it’s months before she finally tells my husband. HELP!!!
You FIL's wife will recount her view of events in the process too.
It could get very emotionally draining to go through. It could stir up unpleasant feelings that will remain with you for a long time. It may also take several financial resources to keep an attorney on retainer as you work this case through the court which may take months. If you want to purse this, I "think" you may have to be ready to spend a lot of your own resources financially and emotionally and just plain need to allocate your time to work through.
These are complex situations which, in my experience, are usually developed from complex family dynamics that have been evolving for years.
I think you just need to decide how much you are personally willing to expend to pursue this. While I do not know your exact situation, I do know there are people in this world who do take advantage of vulnerable people and exploit circumstances to their advantage.
At the time Aunts Will was probated and Dad used the old one, someone could have gone to Probate and given Probate the updated one. Any contesting should have been before the final accounting.
Is there a formal diagnosis of Dementia for FIL? If so, then you go to a lawyer and pay to prove his wife is causing a fraud and ahuse.
I agree with one of the comments. If FIL wanted to protect his assets, then he should have done it before he remarried.
You say things such as "we were told that......." (which is hearsay,) and "we aren't included in"...... (which you won't be without documents proving dad assigned you when he was competent.) "They told us", "She had him go" and on and on and on.
The sad truth is that finally, when there is a second family, the last man standing (or woman, for that matter) is the winner. The only way to avoid all this would have been for your father to make CLEAR Trust and Estate work DOCUMENTED, and for you to have been on watch every single second that he didn't have dementia, and that he wasn't steering into a new attorney office to change everything. How could you have conceivably done all that?
You were lied to, and this got done.
Now it is attorney work; but THAT will cost you, and I think it is very unlikely that it will change anything.
I am so sorry. There's just not much else I could suggest. Hope others have better ideas for you than I do.
You're talking about your FIL's wife and saying things like "anything else she can get her hands on". She is his wife. She has legal rights to 50 percent of his estate anyway. She is also the one responsible for him and all of his care. Are you and your husband insisting that you move in with them to help take care of your FIL? My guess is no. It sounds more like a case of the wife can take on all the caregiving needs with the family's blessing, but better keep her hands off any assets which by rights are 50% hers anyway.
You are complaining that she doesn't cook him breakfast and won't move him to a lower altitude. That's hardly abuse and neglect. Also, you can't possibly know what kind of arrangement she has for your FIL when she goes to do the household shopping. Not unless she discusses it with you.
It sounds to me like everyone was fine when the wife of many years was taking all the responsibility for the FIL's care. The second she exercises her legal rights to get some of her husband's estate, everyone is very upset. Get over it. She is the legal spouse of years and is going to inherit her husband's estate. If your FIL really wanted your husband and his sister to get that house in the Cayman Islands, he would have given it to them when he was still in his right mind.
Your husband and his sister have some legal rights to your FIL's estate after he passes if his Will doesn't get changed. That might be something worth discussing with a lawyer. His legal spouse pretty much holds all the cards here.