I care for a friend with 4 adult children. One (48) lives in the basement and continually tells me she doesn't need oxygen (she has copd) nor a catheter, it's all in her head, she is just fine. How do I deal with this moron? lol. Just plug my ears

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He is co-dependent. So was my BIL, he just about went to pieces when mom moved to Assisted Living (by her own choice!) and complained wheedled and whined about getting her back home. She enabled him in many ways, with cash and cookies. Just keep good records, including every time you asked him about getting oxygen or asked him to call the MD. That way, if she suddenly checks out, he cannot accuse you of hastening her demise.

Thanks so much, these are very good points to consider. He is not POA, thank goodness. He does have an alcohol problem or has throughout most of his past, so he does exhibit addict behaviors. Such as always blaming someone else for his misfortunes.
His mother smoked for decades. It's not unreasonable to understand that she's got COPD. The pulmonary critical care certainly did not put her on oxygen for fun.
I guess his issues run deeper than this. I do ignore him yet remain polite.

Does the adult child living in the basement involve himself with his mom's medical care at all? Does he read? Is he on drugs or alcohol that renders him ignorant of his mom's condition? Are there mental health issues with this adult child? I'd be asking those questions and respond to him depending on which one I thought was the most likely reason.

Is the person in the basement POA for his mom? If so, it might not be the best arrangement. I might suggest to my friend that a more reasonable and responsible person get on board to help with your friend, since as time goes by, this adult child may not ensure she gets proper medical care.

Of course, you can ignore this person, but if he is left in charge of your mom and she needs sound judgment, she could be in trouble.

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