Family caregivers: did you do something for yourself today? Big or little, post it here and celebrate it!

Accidentally found some comments on another site, on roasting turkeys. Reminded me that not everyone is knowledgeable about cooking outside of a microwave.

The high temps might be to kill all the bacteria, not only initially but any that lurk on or in the turkey. I thought that would be common knowledge, but I guess it's not.

Perhaps there are liability concerns with the producers of some of the cooking shows.

I also want to welcome all the posters here whose names I don't recognize. It looks like this thread has "struck a chord" and a lot of folks are joining in.

Welcome, all.

(Dorianne, I'm not intending to hijack your thread; just wanted to make sure everyone felt welcome.)

I'm glad someone else finds these cooking shows offensive, and too "upscale", to put it mildly. I've found them irritating for years. Last one I watched to any degree was Marcel Desaulnier's Death by Chocolate. And that was years ago. But he was unique, and his chocolate creations were magnificent.

I think some of the most ridiculous of these shows is when some host stands next to some wannabe celebrity and sighs and swoons over something that most of us couldn't afford to buy, or is just something basic that the celebrity has enhanced (especially with high priced gadgets).

I often feel embarrassed for Julia Child, who had an interesting WWII "job" before becoming a tv celebrity. Do folks know that she worked for the forerunner of the CIA?

As to the consistent temp issue, I remember my mother putting the turkey in the oven early in the morning, like 6 or 7 or 8, while Dad took us to the Hudson's Thanksgiving Parade. When we returned about noon or so, we could smell the fragrance of the almost done turkey before we even got inside. I don't believe that Mom changed the temp unless the bird wasn't getting done quickly enough.

I believe that Mom, as did I, always used a consistent temp throughout, unless it was toward the end of the cooking and I was getting hungry and tired of waiting.

I would think that using a consistently higher temp would dry out the turkey quicker, requiring more basting (and leaning close to a hot oven while doing so).

I'm wondering if the "microwave" effect has some influence on cooking at a higher temp - i.e., get it done quicker. I think there's merit to settling back on turkey day and living at a pace before life became so much more accelerated (and neurosis inducing).

And if the TV shows are any guide (which they're not, but may be trend setters), people don't have guests, or visit with relatives or friends - they need massive open kitchens so they can "interact" with and "entertain" people while cooking. Perhaps they need audiences; I'm beginning to think with the massive spread of the "selfie" phenomenon that so many people want to be stars in their own right. The 15 minutes of fame has been replaced by selfies on FB and other social media.

Anyway, I also think that a consistent lower temperature would be more likely to ensure that the deeper portions of the turkey were also cooked thoroughly. Cooking should be a pleasure, not a race.

But then, I'm not a cooking maven and don't have the experience of spending time in ClubMed to spread a "good thing" gospel. I'm just an ordinary person.

RainMom, I'd do what you've been doing all these years, and settle back and relax and enjoy the day.

I am absolutely no help with cooking advice, Rainmom! But I do agree cooking seems to have gotten super complicated....I used to be willing to try things (say, out of my mom's cookbooks), but now I just look at recipes and think, "I don't even have half of these cooking implements." Almost everything seems to require a food processor now, and....I just don't know where in the heck I would even keep such a monster in my tiny apartment kitchen!

I'm just as confused with all the advice as you are Rainmom, I've tried so many methods over the years but I couldn't say which one is best (but I do think spatchcocked wasn't worth the effort), I think you should go with what you know. One thing I do think makes a difference is to brine the bird, unless you are buying one that has been pre-brined like a butterball.

Put my husband in 5 day respite care & flew to Ohio to spend Thanksgiving w daughter, grandkids & spouses. His 2nd time so I had no worries this time.

I use to be a really good cook. Not “make your own pasta from scratch” good... but still rock, solid good. Then came the advent of The Food Network and all the special-ality cooks and chefs and cooking just got too complicated and put on such airs. Suddenly a cheese grater was a Mandolin and cost $60 bucks from Pottery Barn and you couldn’t just use sour cream in a recipe anymore - it had to be Crème fraîche - and don’t even get me started on the twelve things you had to do to your nuts just to put them in a frickin’ cookie batter!

Anyhoo. Now that - that is over, I have a question for you cooks out there.

I’ve been searching for a stuffing recipe as I’ve recently posted - but something came up along the way... I’m noticing all these recipes instructing to cook the turkey at heats in the 400-500 degree range. Some say for the first 30-60 minutes then lower the temp. I get that - as that is a common method with roasts. But many recipes say to use that high temp the whole way.

So - I googled around and discovered that this is a current “thing”... like Crème fraîche, I guess. But back in my day - you cooked a turkey nice and slow - in a 325 degree oven.

Has anyone done this - cooked a turkey all the way through at such a high heat? Results? Opinions? Enquiring minds want to know...

I have been doing a pulmonary rehabilitation exercise program to lose all the weight I picked up from Hypothyroidism, a hereditary factor from my late mother for 3 times a week since August. Tomorrow I am giving myself a pass to NOT go! I am just worn out!

Wow, this thread took off today! :-)

I took my kitten over to my friend's house this afternoon, while mom was sleeping, and hung out with her and her granddaughter. There, I learned about the delightful "Masha and the Bear" on Netflix. Mom is currently parked in front of it while I check the forum. She thinks it's great! :-P

lizzy1952 I'm so sorry for your losses so close to each other! My father passed in August. Broke my heart... I've been caring for he and my mother for 6 years. I can't imagine the pain that comes with losing them both so close together. Hang in there, wishing you the best!

Well.. After a week of putting it off, I took myself in to the urgent care today. Have had a severe cold. In on the mend but the residual cough is keeping me (and my husband) up at night. So I have some cough medicine for that.

I've been caring for my parents for 6 years. My father passed in August. My mother has Alzheimer's. She is in an assisted living facility now. (And she's not happy about it). I feel guilty about that sometimes, but I do know that she gets much better care there than I could give her at my home. I'm disabled myself. I have 4 siblings that just leave it all up to me. Just doing the best that I can. I usually see her 3 or 4 times a week. She gets agitated a lot. That was happening before my Dad passed, much worse since then. Poor thing, is grieving her life long love. 61 years they we're married. She is medicated and in a small and loving care home. She tells me she hates it, but I know from reading at this site and others that that is typical. When she's agitated, she really takes it out on me. Very hard sometimes. But at other times she raves about how well they care for her.

Just thought I'd tell you a few things about myself and thank you very much for this site. Reading your experiences and realizing that I'm not the bad child I thought I was is one of the best things I have done for myself!! Thanks and hugs!!

Yes, someone stayed with aunt while I went to acupuncture. I cannot believe how much better I feel!

Whoa, did this post come at the right time. I am struggling with the first Thanksgiving without my mom! And trying to be able to do something for myself, but what with caregiving for my dad, it gets hard. I am an early riser, so one thing I do is go for a coffee and (yeah, even in the dark but I stay in my safe car) go and watch the river.

This wasn't just for me, but we had some nice weather here, yesterday, so i took my dad out for a drive. We had a pretty good time, got to see some scenery and I think it did him some good. He's 95 and has some mobility issues. It's not always easy, and while I know he doesn't mean to be, sometimes he comes across as being a little critical.

I am enjoying reading the posts about "heartthrobs". I've always had a thing for Sean Connery and since I like the bald guys, think he hasn't aged half bad. I too was a fan of Bogart! I can always watch "Casablanca!" Does anyone else think that Paul Heinreid was a bit sexy in "Now, Voyager" when he lit the two cigarettes? I know that isn't so correct now, but he was so suave. And hey, for the younger guys, I've always had a soft spot for Leonardo diCaprio! He is so cute and a good actor. I was so sad at Titanic! And let's not forget Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Rainmom-love the image of Jason Momoa. I had to look him up, also, but WOW!

Dreaming of a trip of some sort, but suppose that will be all it is for now. It's fun to dream and look at the hotels in Hawaii? Right now, I would settle for a nice "suite" here in town. Ah, well, it costs nothing to dream.

Guess I have to put my dreams on the shelf for now and go a get to work on supper! Posting here will be my good thing I have done for myself today!

Lizzy, I'm sorry for your losses, so close together. That's really quite a challenge. But I'm glad you're feeling better now.

My sister and I , both caring for Mom, went to a noon movie. It transported us to another world for a couple of hours. Off to the nursing home......

My husband went into work late so I could go to the gym and do water aerobics. So he also fed mom breakfast. Mom had used the bathroom and was watching TV sitting on the sofa. I do feel better.

I got a sitter to stay with my husband and went out for an EKG

No, I haven't done anything for myself today, yesterday, last week, last month, this year, in the past decade, or the decade before. I have been out of the house one time this year. That was when Mom went to the ER. If I don't watch her all the time she will end up in the ER again. I can't walk, read or anything else. I can't get anyone to stay with her because they don't want the responsibility of being alone with her. This is my life.

I enjoyed some more fall clean up in my yard. It was the only time I was able to have some "me" time and afterwards felt renewed and rejuvenated.

I know that your all going to think that I am nuts but what I did for myself was
I had a good cry. I mean a really good one. it was that or have a nervous breakdown.
I was the caregiver for my mom, dad, and husband. dad died about four weeks ago and mom passed away two days ago. I got into the car and drove to the cemetery and
talked to my dad for over an hour. I was crying like a baby. losing mom and dad so close tore me apart. after about an hour of balling my eyes out I went back home to my husband whom I take care of also. I felt relief. I felt as if my dad was by my side helping me thru everything. I felt my dads love coming thru and I knew I would be able to continue to care for my husband.
it has a been a long journey for me with both parents with dementia, incontinence, and many other health issues, but you know what I wouldn't think twice about doing it again. the love, the closeness, and the bond that we built in those years is something that I will never forget. yes I took care of my parents but they also took care of me by
giving me the strength to stand strong and go on no matter what life dishes to me.

I took a nap! I took a heavenly nap! OMG! It was wonderful!!

Wow, quite a response. I savor my freedom daily since mom is in the NH and thank God every night for a good night's sleep. I try to walk daily, rain or shine, and I love this colder time of year. My sister and I have decided to splurge and order Thanksgiving dinner this year from Kroger and try the deep fried Cajun turkey and trimmings. I'll only have to fix a spiral ham and sweet potato casserole, so much less lifting and carrying for me probably from this time on. I do visit mom daily and feed her dinner. She's holding up fine right now, and we had a nice family Thanksgiving dinner at her nursing home Sunday night. Life is actually VERY good right now in my family.

Hey, cwillie, I cleaned the leaves from my gutters also about a week ago. My ladder is really not tall enough, but I have this pole contraption I use to get rid of spider webs in my tall-ceilinged house, and I did an okay job with that. I do have gutter screens but swept up quite a pile of leaves - all from the neighbor's trees.

@GA - keep an eye on Amazon...they frequently have sales on their Prismacolor pencils...I found them to be THE BEST when I took up adult coloring about 2 yrs ago. And most recently, I e going a Bible Journaling group that meets every Saturday from 1-3 (so we really have to hustle) where we journal in our Bibles (that we have just got this purpose, so it's ok to color and glue and washing tape, etc) and those 3 hours ( I usually am there 1/2 B4 and after) are my MOST PRECIOUS HOURS of my week!! I can do it at home, but being with those ladies is PRICELESS!! You should find a group where you are, or maybe start your own!! It's such a GREAT way to fellowship with the Lord, and the others in your group. My therapist suggested mine, and I am forever grateful!! It's the ONLY 3 hours I get away from my house and my grandmother, and my CrEaTiViTy has improved so much!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT, and I'm sure you will too!!

My sister is coming to stay with mom and I have the WHOLE DAY to get a flu shot, go to the yarn store and have lunch with three friends for the first time in months, and do my Thanksgiving shopping. (I'm taking a "leftovers" dinner of turkey/cranberry/stuffing sliders and potato puffs to share with my dad at his memory care facility. They had a very nice dinner there last week for the families.) Very much looking forward to getting out for a few hours.

I was feeling very tired and took the oportunity to come to my computer. I find it is very relaxing. Oh dear --It was very relaxing for a short while but now the friend that I care for is calling out to me as usual "Are you there? Where are you? So off we go again until the next opportunity arises. A cup of tea will be a good idea now!

Your specialities sound yummy! Tonight I'm cooking...cheap Chinese takeaway hahaha
Which is actually something also nice for me not to cook. I didn't get home till 6.45 because my friend with terrible rheumatoid needed some TLC after I finished work.

I am a little envious of all this cooking talk. I barely cook at all. I am not a natural cook! Meatloaf or potato-bacon soup are my big specialties....so I can never accept invites to more than 2 or 3 potlucks a year!

I was soooo tired this morning - still sick. But I met up with BFF anyway and we planned our future as Home-Based Business Barons. It was work and I only just finished making a final list of supplies needed a half hour ago....but it DOES feel like I'm doing it for myself. Or we're doing it for ourselves. We were talking about how nice it is to do something creative AND think about the possibilities of what we could do in the future....something to look forward to. 

Future Plans. It seems like something you don't get think about much when you're a caregiver.

GA - I looked up Mayerling- sounds tragic. But happy endings aren’t necessary for a good film. And, I do love Ava Gardner- she was spectacular in The Barefoot Contessa, another great film with a sad ending.

If you haven’t seen Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday- you must! It stars - along with Peck - a very young Audrey Hepburn. It’s about a princess looking to escape the demands, duties and responsibilities of her position- perhaps forfeiting it all for personal happiness. Sound familiar - anyone?

As for Rhett carting Scarlet up those stairs - sexy!

Cwillie- I took your advice and emailed my SIL about the recipe. Yep - texting and email can be a curse and a blessing- especially when you want to avoid a long conversation- a definite blessing.

@dorianne I made pasta from scratch the day before and then a tomato and balsamic vinegar sauce out of cherry tomatoes my other half grew. I splurged and bought boccini and haloumi which I fried. It was very simple but very decadent! If you lived round the corner you could have made dinner your thing of the day.

I'm not much of a follower of actors but Alexander Dreymon was pretty yum on The Last Kingdom. 

@GardenArtist - whoops! Must've cross-posted with ya! Didn't see yours when I was writing the last post!