Family caregivers: did you do something for yourself today? Big or little, post it here and celebrate it!

I use to be a really good cook. Not “make your own pasta from scratch” good... but still rock, solid good. Then came the advent of The Food Network and all the special-ality cooks and chefs and cooking just got too complicated and put on such airs. Suddenly a cheese grater was a Mandolin and cost $60 bucks from Pottery Barn and you couldn’t just use sour cream in a recipe anymore - it had to be Crème fraîche - and don’t even get me started on the twelve things you had to do to your nuts just to put them in a frickin’ cookie batter!

Anyhoo. Now that - that is over, I have a question for you cooks out there.

I’ve been searching for a stuffing recipe as I’ve recently posted - but something came up along the way... I’m noticing all these recipes instructing to cook the turkey at heats in the 400-500 degree range. Some say for the first 30-60 minutes then lower the temp. I get that - as that is a common method with roasts. But many recipes say to use that high temp the whole way.

So - I googled around and discovered that this is a current “thing”... like Crème fraîche, I guess. But back in my day - you cooked a turkey nice and slow - in a 325 degree oven.

Has anyone done this - cooked a turkey all the way through at such a high heat? Results? Opinions? Enquiring minds want to know...

Put my husband in 5 day respite care & flew to Ohio to spend Thanksgiving w daughter, grandkids & spouses. His 2nd time so I had no worries this time.

I'm just as confused with all the advice as you are Rainmom, I've tried so many methods over the years but I couldn't say which one is best (but I do think spatchcocked wasn't worth the effort), I think you should go with what you know. One thing I do think makes a difference is to brine the bird, unless you are buying one that has been pre-brined like a butterball.

I am absolutely no help with cooking advice, Rainmom! But I do agree cooking seems to have gotten super complicated....I used to be willing to try things (say, out of my mom's cookbooks), but now I just look at recipes and think, "I don't even have half of these cooking implements." Almost everything seems to require a food processor now, and....I just don't know where in the heck I would even keep such a monster in my tiny apartment kitchen!

I'm glad someone else finds these cooking shows offensive, and too "upscale", to put it mildly. I've found them irritating for years. Last one I watched to any degree was Marcel Desaulnier's Death by Chocolate. And that was years ago. But he was unique, and his chocolate creations were magnificent.

I think some of the most ridiculous of these shows is when some host stands next to some wannabe celebrity and sighs and swoons over something that most of us couldn't afford to buy, or is just something basic that the celebrity has enhanced (especially with high priced gadgets).

I often feel embarrassed for Julia Child, who had an interesting WWII "job" before becoming a tv celebrity. Do folks know that she worked for the forerunner of the CIA?

As to the consistent temp issue, I remember my mother putting the turkey in the oven early in the morning, like 6 or 7 or 8, while Dad took us to the Hudson's Thanksgiving Parade. When we returned about noon or so, we could smell the fragrance of the almost done turkey before we even got inside. I don't believe that Mom changed the temp unless the bird wasn't getting done quickly enough.

I believe that Mom, as did I, always used a consistent temp throughout, unless it was toward the end of the cooking and I was getting hungry and tired of waiting.

I would think that using a consistently higher temp would dry out the turkey quicker, requiring more basting (and leaning close to a hot oven while doing so).

I'm wondering if the "microwave" effect has some influence on cooking at a higher temp - i.e., get it done quicker. I think there's merit to settling back on turkey day and living at a pace before life became so much more accelerated (and neurosis inducing).

And if the TV shows are any guide (which they're not, but may be trend setters), people don't have guests, or visit with relatives or friends - they need massive open kitchens so they can "interact" with and "entertain" people while cooking. Perhaps they need audiences; I'm beginning to think with the massive spread of the "selfie" phenomenon that so many people want to be stars in their own right. The 15 minutes of fame has been replaced by selfies on FB and other social media.

Anyway, I also think that a consistent lower temperature would be more likely to ensure that the deeper portions of the turkey were also cooked thoroughly. Cooking should be a pleasure, not a race.

But then, I'm not a cooking maven and don't have the experience of spending time in ClubMed to spread a "good thing" gospel. I'm just an ordinary person.

RainMom, I'd do what you've been doing all these years, and settle back and relax and enjoy the day.

I also want to welcome all the posters here whose names I don't recognize. It looks like this thread has "struck a chord" and a lot of folks are joining in.

Welcome, all.

(Dorianne, I'm not intending to hijack your thread; just wanted to make sure everyone felt welcome.)

Accidentally found some comments on another site, on roasting turkeys. Reminded me that not everyone is knowledgeable about cooking outside of a microwave.

The high temps might be to kill all the bacteria, not only initially but any that lurk on or in the turkey. I thought that would be common knowledge, but I guess it's not.

Perhaps there are liability concerns with the producers of some of the cooking shows.

@GardenArtist - no hijack at all! I wasn't sure how to do a proper welcome, especially being a noob here myself! And yes, welcome to all the new posters in this thread! I think I kinda stole the idea from a friend of mine who is a foster parent to troubled teens: at dinner time, every night, she has everyone go around the table and say 3 positive things about their day. :-)

My good thing....well, I had a fight with mom trying to get her moving this morning, where she said some nasty things that she's probably already forgotten. So after I dropped her at dialysis, I picked up my BFF for some quick shopping, and we wound up having a long "therapy session" about our moms, sitting in the car in the parking lot of Safeway!

I might post about the spat elsewhere in the forum later, when I have a bit of time to figure out where to post it, but it was probably good to get it out before I have to pick mom up again.

Home support will be here around dinner time, and I think when they come, I am just gonna hide in my box room/office and have a nice glass of red wine!!!

Dorianne, way to go with hiding and sipping! I like warm cider as well; it's always evocative of balmy fall seasons, leaves drifting gracefully down to the ground for their winter sojourn, temperatures chilling down and seguing into colder times when the warmth and sweetness of cider is so comforting.

And it reminds me of years ago when I visited Greenfield Village for a Winter event. I've been there several times and always loved it, but that was specifically in the evening, with old time lamp posts lit up for the season. Decorations were all period decorations, simple, lovely but with no masses of light strings strobing into various color schemes.

Accompanied by a slightly chilly evening, the excitement of strolling through old buildings and almost re-enacting a stroll as it might have been a 100 plus years ago was the treat of fragrantly scented warm cider at the end of the tour.

It was an appropriate time to relax and warm up before getting back into our 20th (at that time) transportation and driving home with a nice automotive heater keeping us warm.

@GardenArtist - I am afraid I just pretty much gulped down that glass of wine. It's been that kind of a day! And I actually just got to the wine now. But I am starting to feel the residual warmth in my body. I might do a rare thing and have another glass, one I can enjoy!

I actually didn't know I liked red wine till I was in my 40s! I have never been much of a drinker. I do have a weakness for pear cider, though, now that you mention cider. I don't know what it is, but I always think it's like pear champagne! Pears themselves are pretty amazing though, when you get them at JUST the right level of ripeness. If pears were more reliable, I'd probably live on them.  ;-)

Pouring the second glass. What the hell. It's a Two Glass Day.

From what I gathered on my investigative google search - is they claim a higher heat and shorter cooking time makes a juicier turkey with a crisp skin. Kinda makes sense but also kinda doesn’t. 

I know that’s how it works with roasts - a high heat but only in the beginning- is suppose to “shock” the meat which somehow makes it retain its juices. Similar to searing in a pan prior to the oven, I guess. I have had good success with my roast - doing that. 

However- I bought an organic turkey this year - all the stuff I’m stuffing is also organic. Needless to say - this bird has become a small investment. One of which, I decided I’m not willing to waste by trying something new - perhaps merely ending up with a dry turkey or perhaps burning it to a crisp - which no amount of gravy can fix!

I never did find the recipe I wanted - but feel confident enough in my cooking skills that I’m gonna wing it. Haha - get it - WING it!

Anyhoo - stuffing in an orange - quartered, a lemon - halved, a small yellow onion- halved, garlic - vacillating between 1/2 a head or just a bunch of cloves of garlic, a sprig or two each fresh sage, thyme and rosemary. Probably some fresh ground pepper. I never salt my meat while cooking - except when I make a roast or leg of lamb with a salt herb crust - which is a whole different type of deal. Adding some chicken broth to the roasting pan to help with basting. But I’m not big on basting - every time you open the door the average oven looses 25 degrees. How’s that for a fun fact?!!
I do have a Golden delish apple and some celery on standby in case I go in a different direction but for now it’s a citrusy-herb kind of endeavor. 
Okay - I’m babbling now. Sorry!

Everyone have a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, all my American friends! I am thankful for YOU! :-D

Your American traditions sound really yummy

Got mom her breakfast and lunch, she always takes a nap then, so we went out and had Thanksgiving dinner. It was delightful. Took the remainder home and when mom got up we made her a plate and she ate every bite and then after a while she went to bed. Easy day.

Well, after yesterday's blow up - mom and I had a talk last night about "non-negotiables" (like hygiene, going to dialysis, etc.). And whether she remembers or not, I think I figured out why mom was acting out, at least partly. I've been spending less time with her since I set up the box room office, and also started working on my little business project with my friend. Gulp. I mean, I started working on both these things because I needed something for myself, but I just kind of leapt on them full throttle, and maybe became a neglectful "parent" to my little dementia "toddler." This is all a pretty steep learning curve.

So I made mom a coffee when I woke her up today for our meeting with the renal team. Afterwards, I took her for "baby doughnuts," as she calls Timbits. Came home, made her some tea and snacks, and watched a couple of Disney movies with her while I set up a big holiday decoration. Then said I was going into my office to work on my project, and she was all fine and happy.

Being willing to learn from your mistakes with your family is part of doing something nice for yourself, right?

I just realized tonight that the "Beast" in the live action Beauty and the Beast is Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey! (Speaking of adorable men.  I didn't recognize him till he smiled near the end.)  This is the second time we've watched it, too. So we'll have to watch it again, now that we know. Mom LOVES Downton. I've already watched it all once with her, but she's been through it 3x now. By request, I just started up her 4th viewing before I came in here for my "me time," lol.

Matthew Crawley is absolutely delicious!

Edit: congratulations on working your mum out. Happy moments for you and her now 😊

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

Took my mother to buy a microwave today, but splurged on my favorite slushy.

Last night I decided to stop trying to be tough and pulled mom's electric blanket out of the closet and put it on my bed. Ahhhh :)

I don’t use one any more - but when I did - LOVED preheating the bed on cold nights via the electric blanket.

I started my day doing something nice for myself- slept in an extra 90 minuets. 💤

Oh I've never used an electric blanket but I bet it's cozy! One of the things I did bring over to mom's is my little heating pad, but it's more like an electric blanket for a Barbie, lol.

I have a massage therapy appointment this afternoon while mom's at dialysis. I rescheduled it from Monday when I was sick. Usually I go for pain issues, but I have been "resting" so much I'm not sure I REALLY need it....but I'm going anyway! :-P

I........took over the television before my mother got up today, and had a Doctor Who marathon!

A little petty victory for me in the TV war. :-P

I've just bought something which Dad liked just when I put it around him. It's a fleece throw, by London Fog (I think they were the manufacturers of the trench coats that were popular a few decades ago).

On sale for a good price, I bought one in snowy white and another in a Scandinavian style red and white snowflake pattern. The fleece is so soft, and I think that softness is part of the appeal. I made a lot of quilts and afghans years ago, and they're warm, but often heavy. This fleece throw is warm but lightweight.

@GardenArtist - I remember London Fog from WAY back! I think they have been around for a long time, hey? I think my grandad had a raincoat he was very proud of.

I do love a heavy afghan though! Do you knit or crochet?

Today I took myself and Bruce off to BFF's house for a few hours, for a break from mom. We laid on the floor and played with animals, ate potato chips and pepperoni sticks, and looked at handmade soaps online (wishing for smell-o-vision).

Dorianne, yes, London Fog is an old, reputable company. I don't know if it still manufactures clothes, but now that I know it's still around, I'm going to check.

I knit and crochet. The afghans were crocheted in different Granny Square patterns (which I really like b/c they're so quick and so versatile). I knitted sweaters and some pillow covers, usually in cable patterns.

When I was teaching Adult Ed back in the mid 1990, one of my crochet students was so enthusiastic that she chose patterns well beyond those of most beginners. So I worked the pattern she chose ahead of her so I could help with any problems (many patterns have mistakes that aren't caught before publication).

That was when I began experimenting and creating my own patterns. That was REALLY a lot of fun!

Are you a knitter or crocheter? It was so relaxing; I need to do more of it.

Handmade soaps - now they're a real treat. A former herbal supplier used to give samples with orders, but I never could use them for anything other than aromatherapy. I just wanted to save them! Her Mountain Mint soap was wonderful; I still have it and take a quick sniff every now and then when I need a "pick-me-up".

Her lip balms were great too. I bought one with Orange scent and another in Chocolate Mint. I considered them not only aromatherapy but mental therapy as well.

@GardenArtist - my stepgramma taught me to knit when I was a teenager, but then I moved in with my dad and I never learned how to finish! I ended up with an 8-foot scarf hanging off a knitting needle! Lol.

I have a lovely, gigantic PURPLE afghan that she crocheted with the granny squares - it was for her and her 1st husband's bedroom (she and grandad were both widowers). It's SOOOO purple. Like royal purple. And she says it matched the carpet!! I can't imagine that!

BFF crochets. She's promised to teach me. I want to make those crocheted bath puffs, so I am not always buying plastic ones that are bad for the environment.

Is the mint or the orange your favourite aromatherapy scent? Or something else? I am very fond of sandalwood but the oil is SUPER expensive, compared to the others! I also love jasmine, but it's got to be really good quality or it smells a bit like pee, lol!

Oh yes - what am I doing for myself today. I thought I would get a break this afternoon while mom is at dialysis. But I came home and discovered she pooped on the sofa, and now I'm trying to clean it. (Just having a break.)

SOOOO....I think I am going to let home support take over when they come at dinnertime and....I do believe it's a glass of wine kind of day.

Dorianne: Oh joy, NOT! Get that glass of wine! You deserve it!

Lol, Llamalover, I just downed the first glass!

Mom and I had the "It's time for Depends" talk tonight.

Today hubby and I went out to lunch - a big Caesar salad and mini “personal pizza”. Followed up with a Starbucks Eggnog Latte - by way of their drive-thru as the next stop was our traditional Christmas tree lot - where hubby trailed behind me as a walked the rows looking for “the one”. Found a nice, tall Noble Fir.

We took that bad boy home - got it in the stand and gave it plenty to drink. I don’t know if there’s anything to this - my theory- but I always wait a day or two to start decorating the tree as it seems to me that the branches settle a bit once it’s indoors and in the stand.

All in all - a pretty nice day.

Dorianne: Good for you! Even after my mother was wearing underpants with padding in them, she was waiting too long to get to the toilet. Then I would see her underpants handwashed out and drying on the towel rack, I asked "what's up with that?" Her response="Oh, nothing."