Family caregivers: did you do something for yourself today? Big or little, post it here and celebrate it!

Stuffing is my favourite part! If I could convince my friends to celebrate American Thanksgiving on top of the Canadian one, I could have stuffing in October, stuffing in November, and stuffing in December. All my stuffing needs would be satisfied for the year! But I have to wait till Christmas now....

Ha ha, I put something on Netflix a couple of weeks ago for mom, starring Robert Redford and Jane Fonda. After about 20 minutes, she said, "You know, some men just don't age well." And then she didn't want to watch it anymore! Lol. I find it difficult to crush on my mother's crushes, 'cause it feels weird. ;-)

GA - I’m with you on Gregory Peck! Roman Holiday is one of my top three favorite “old” movies. The Barefoot Contessa is in my top three as well. Call me crazy - but Humphrey Bogart - I don’t know why... maybe it’s those soulful, sad eyes of his. Loved him in the original Sabrina, as well.

After looking through my old recipe files - I’m about ready to give up and try to duplicate the recipe from memory and use elements of the similar ones I’ve found on line. My last resort - prior to that is to call my sister-in-law. She was at the TG dinner when I made it and liked it so much she asked for the recipe. I know she’s used it many times since then. But I’m wondering if - as most cooks do - in time she’s changed it or even does it by route now. Plus - I really don’t want to call her - her moms not doing well and since I’ve known SIL and her mom since I was a two y/o - I’m afraid SIL will tell me all about it. Plus, SIL is very likely to bring up my mom as well. I know that sounds so horribly selfish but like I said - this is the first holiday I’ve felt anything besides dread for in soooo long - I just don’t want it spoiled.

Anyhoo - I’ll share what I come up with. I should say - it’s not a stuffing for eating - it’s for flavor and keeping the turkey juicy. Although, I did see several eatable stuffing recipes on line that incorporate apples. I’m just not a stuffing eater. (I know, Dorianne - I know).

Did someone forget Clark Gable?

Of course, the scene in an affair to remember when Cary grant and Deborah Kerr hold hands on the stairwell of the cruise ship is sheer poetry

@dorianne I consider chocolate ice cream as a whole food group unto itself and have not met optimum nutritional standards the past few days due to running out )':

Today I got off work a bit early so met my other half for a quick cuppa, then went home and cooked dinner for my oldest friend in the world (that is, the friend I've had the longest, she's not that old)

Rainmom, does SIL do email? I love email because a brief note keeps you connected but doesn't come across as rudely too short, but so many people don't check their emails anymore because they are all on facebook or texting.

Speaking of old movies, when I was sitting in the NH lounge with mom my eyes were drawn to the TV and the movie playing on it. I have no idea what it was but it was but I was struck by how young and handsome/beautiful all the actors were, how perfect their hair was, how stunning their clothes... there was even quite a lot of subtle sexual innuendo going on. Funny how ones perspective changes with age, in my youth I just thought it was all terribly old fashioned  and fusty.

I don't remember most of Peck's movies, but I do remember Guns of Navarone; he was masterful in that tense movie.

Madge, thanks for the reminder of Clark Gable. He had such a unique style, that almost sly grin that appeared at strategic times. I don't think any other actor could smile like Gable did.

Interesting comment, CWillie. The older movies were more subtle in interactions, more sophisticated and less tawdry. It wasn't a mystery what happened when Rhett carried Scarlett upstairs in that dramatic scene at their mansion. These days we'd probably have to go endure several minutes of frenetic writhing, leaving nothing to the imagination.

And on the subject of inference, one of my favorite movies was Mayerling, with Omar Sharif, Catherine Deneuve and Ava Gardner (magnificent as Empress). The smiles and admiration expressed between Sharif and Deneuve were legendary. That same smile appeared as well in Funny Girl; I think it was his characteristic, gentle, affectionate smile.

Off the subject of stars and onto that of holiday movies, does anyone watch Ovation's "Battle of the Nutcrackers"? It's not really a battle, rather a multiple showing of specific Nutcracker versions with the audience voting on favorites.

There are some choreographic and staging concepts that I still haven't figured out. The Royal Ballet's staging is the most sumptuous and traditional. But in the past there have been some that were somewhat peculiar. One was apparently a substitution of the mouse squad with sword wielding dancers. I think that was the one which also appeared to include a kidnapping by Clara, as opposed to her being romantically swept off her feet by a dashing Nutcracker. And another one I watched several years ago seemed to be set in a orphanage. I never did figure that out.

Lonely, yes, chocolate is a food group unto itself. No question about that, and now that it's the holiday season, the chocolate selections are soooo enticing.

Hershey's has a new product - chocolate bells with a minty filling. Of its holiday line though, the cherry cordial are my favorites, with the new minty bells and candy cane mint close runners up.

@Rainmom - *cries for lack of edible stuffing* Lol! I'm kinda with you on Bogey! Definitely the eyes.

@MsMadge - do you know, I think that's one of the few old movies I haven't seen! I'm surprised at myself.

@Lonelysolonely - that sounds like a lovely evening! What did you make for dinner?

@cwillie - I know just what you mean! When I was a kid I would roll my eyes at whatever old movie mom insisted on watching, but now I'm kind of fascinated by the styles, and all the things I missed in the dialogue because I was too young.

I am not being very good about doing something for me today, so far. I had to cancel my appt. with the massage therapist, because I didn't want to share my cold with him or the rest of the people in his building. Boo. I don't have a lot of luxuries in my budget, and I sooooo look forward to that one! Now I must wait. Stoopid germs.

Hopefully I'll figure something else to do for me before the end of the day.

@GardenArtist - whoops! Must've cross-posted with ya! Didn't see yours when I was writing the last post!

@dorianne I made pasta from scratch the day before and then a tomato and balsamic vinegar sauce out of cherry tomatoes my other half grew. I splurged and bought boccini and haloumi which I fried. It was very simple but very decadent! If you lived round the corner you could have made dinner your thing of the day.

I'm not much of a follower of actors but Alexander Dreymon was pretty yum on The Last Kingdom. 

GA - I looked up Mayerling- sounds tragic. But happy endings aren’t necessary for a good film. And, I do love Ava Gardner- she was spectacular in The Barefoot Contessa, another great film with a sad ending.

If you haven’t seen Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday- you must! It stars - along with Peck - a very young Audrey Hepburn. It’s about a princess looking to escape the demands, duties and responsibilities of her position- perhaps forfeiting it all for personal happiness. Sound familiar - anyone?

As for Rhett carting Scarlet up those stairs - sexy!

Cwillie- I took your advice and emailed my SIL about the recipe. Yep - texting and email can be a curse and a blessing- especially when you want to avoid a long conversation- a definite blessing.

I am a little envious of all this cooking talk. I barely cook at all. I am not a natural cook! Meatloaf or potato-bacon soup are my big specialties....so I can never accept invites to more than 2 or 3 potlucks a year!

I was soooo tired this morning - still sick. But I met up with BFF anyway and we planned our future as Home-Based Business Barons. It was work and I only just finished making a final list of supplies needed a half hour ago....but it DOES feel like I'm doing it for myself. Or we're doing it for ourselves. We were talking about how nice it is to do something creative AND think about the possibilities of what we could do in the future....something to look forward to. 

Future Plans. It seems like something you don't get think about much when you're a caregiver.

Your specialities sound yummy! Tonight I'm cooking...cheap Chinese takeaway hahaha
Which is actually something also nice for me not to cook. I didn't get home till 6.45 because my friend with terrible rheumatoid needed some TLC after I finished work.

I was feeling very tired and took the oportunity to come to my computer. I find it is very relaxing. Oh dear --It was very relaxing for a short while but now the friend that I care for is calling out to me as usual "Are you there? Where are you? So off we go again until the next opportunity arises. A cup of tea will be a good idea now!

My sister is coming to stay with mom and I have the WHOLE DAY to get a flu shot, go to the yarn store and have lunch with three friends for the first time in months, and do my Thanksgiving shopping. (I'm taking a "leftovers" dinner of turkey/cranberry/stuffing sliders and potato puffs to share with my dad at his memory care facility. They had a very nice dinner there last week for the families.) Very much looking forward to getting out for a few hours.

@GA - keep an eye on Amazon...they frequently have sales on their Prismacolor pencils...I found them to be THE BEST when I took up adult coloring about 2 yrs ago. And most recently, I e going a Bible Journaling group that meets every Saturday from 1-3 (so we really have to hustle) where we journal in our Bibles (that we have just got this purpose, so it's ok to color and glue and washing tape, etc) and those 3 hours ( I usually am there 1/2 B4 and after) are my MOST PRECIOUS HOURS of my week!! I can do it at home, but being with those ladies is PRICELESS!! You should find a group where you are, or maybe start your own!! It's such a GREAT way to fellowship with the Lord, and the others in your group. My therapist suggested mine, and I am forever grateful!! It's the ONLY 3 hours I get away from my house and my grandmother, and my CrEaTiViTy has improved so much!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT, and I'm sure you will too!!

Wow, quite a response. I savor my freedom daily since mom is in the NH and thank God every night for a good night's sleep. I try to walk daily, rain or shine, and I love this colder time of year. My sister and I have decided to splurge and order Thanksgiving dinner this year from Kroger and try the deep fried Cajun turkey and trimmings. I'll only have to fix a spiral ham and sweet potato casserole, so much less lifting and carrying for me probably from this time on. I do visit mom daily and feed her dinner. She's holding up fine right now, and we had a nice family Thanksgiving dinner at her nursing home Sunday night. Life is actually VERY good right now in my family.

Hey, cwillie, I cleaned the leaves from my gutters also about a week ago. My ladder is really not tall enough, but I have this pole contraption I use to get rid of spider webs in my tall-ceilinged house, and I did an okay job with that. I do have gutter screens but swept up quite a pile of leaves - all from the neighbor's trees.

I took a nap! I took a heavenly nap! OMG! It was wonderful!!

I know that your all going to think that I am nuts but what I did for myself was
I had a good cry. I mean a really good one. it was that or have a nervous breakdown.
I was the caregiver for my mom, dad, and husband. dad died about four weeks ago and mom passed away two days ago. I got into the car and drove to the cemetery and
talked to my dad for over an hour. I was crying like a baby. losing mom and dad so close tore me apart. after about an hour of balling my eyes out I went back home to my husband whom I take care of also. I felt relief. I felt as if my dad was by my side helping me thru everything. I felt my dads love coming thru and I knew I would be able to continue to care for my husband.
it has a been a long journey for me with both parents with dementia, incontinence, and many other health issues, but you know what I wouldn't think twice about doing it again. the love, the closeness, and the bond that we built in those years is something that I will never forget. yes I took care of my parents but they also took care of me by
giving me the strength to stand strong and go on no matter what life dishes to me.

I enjoyed some more fall clean up in my yard. It was the only time I was able to have some "me" time and afterwards felt renewed and rejuvenated.

No, I haven't done anything for myself today, yesterday, last week, last month, this year, in the past decade, or the decade before. I have been out of the house one time this year. That was when Mom went to the ER. If I don't watch her all the time she will end up in the ER again. I can't walk, read or anything else. I can't get anyone to stay with her because they don't want the responsibility of being alone with her. This is my life.

I got a sitter to stay with my husband and went out for an EKG

My husband went into work late so I could go to the gym and do water aerobics. So he also fed mom breakfast. Mom had used the bathroom and was watching TV sitting on the sofa. I do feel better.

My sister and I , both caring for Mom, went to a noon movie. It transported us to another world for a couple of hours. Off to the nursing home......

Lizzy, I'm sorry for your losses, so close together. That's really quite a challenge. But I'm glad you're feeling better now.

Whoa, did this post come at the right time. I am struggling with the first Thanksgiving without my mom! And trying to be able to do something for myself, but what with caregiving for my dad, it gets hard. I am an early riser, so one thing I do is go for a coffee and (yeah, even in the dark but I stay in my safe car) go and watch the river.

This wasn't just for me, but we had some nice weather here, yesterday, so i took my dad out for a drive. We had a pretty good time, got to see some scenery and I think it did him some good. He's 95 and has some mobility issues. It's not always easy, and while I know he doesn't mean to be, sometimes he comes across as being a little critical.

I am enjoying reading the posts about "heartthrobs". I've always had a thing for Sean Connery and since I like the bald guys, think he hasn't aged half bad. I too was a fan of Bogart! I can always watch "Casablanca!" Does anyone else think that Paul Heinreid was a bit sexy in "Now, Voyager" when he lit the two cigarettes? I know that isn't so correct now, but he was so suave. And hey, for the younger guys, I've always had a soft spot for Leonardo diCaprio! He is so cute and a good actor. I was so sad at Titanic! And let's not forget Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Rainmom-love the image of Jason Momoa. I had to look him up, also, but WOW!

Dreaming of a trip of some sort, but suppose that will be all it is for now. It's fun to dream and look at the hotels in Hawaii? Right now, I would settle for a nice "suite" here in town. Ah, well, it costs nothing to dream.

Guess I have to put my dreams on the shelf for now and go a get to work on supper! Posting here will be my good thing I have done for myself today!

Yes, someone stayed with aunt while I went to acupuncture. I cannot believe how much better I feel!

Well.. After a week of putting it off, I took myself in to the urgent care today. Have had a severe cold. In on the mend but the residual cough is keeping me (and my husband) up at night. So I have some cough medicine for that.

I've been caring for my parents for 6 years. My father passed in August. My mother has Alzheimer's. She is in an assisted living facility now. (And she's not happy about it). I feel guilty about that sometimes, but I do know that she gets much better care there than I could give her at my home. I'm disabled myself. I have 4 siblings that just leave it all up to me. Just doing the best that I can. I usually see her 3 or 4 times a week. She gets agitated a lot. That was happening before my Dad passed, much worse since then. Poor thing, is grieving her life long love. 61 years they we're married. She is medicated and in a small and loving care home. She tells me she hates it, but I know from reading at this site and others that that is typical. When she's agitated, she really takes it out on me. Very hard sometimes. But at other times she raves about how well they care for her.

Just thought I'd tell you a few things about myself and thank you very much for this site. Reading your experiences and realizing that I'm not the bad child I thought I was is one of the best things I have done for myself!! Thanks and hugs!!

lizzy1952 I'm so sorry for your losses so close to each other! My father passed in August. Broke my heart... I've been caring for he and my mother for 6 years. I can't imagine the pain that comes with losing them both so close together. Hang in there, wishing you the best!

Wow, this thread took off today! :-)

I took my kitten over to my friend's house this afternoon, while mom was sleeping, and hung out with her and her granddaughter. There, I learned about the delightful "Masha and the Bear" on Netflix. Mom is currently parked in front of it while I check the forum. She thinks it's great! :-P

I have been doing a pulmonary rehabilitation exercise program to lose all the weight I picked up from Hypothyroidism, a hereditary factor from my late mother for 3 times a week since August. Tomorrow I am giving myself a pass to NOT go! I am just worn out!