Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Actions speak louder than words. You can do it. Go to a shelter if you have to, then transition to a place of your own. You will be surprised at how well you do.
(6)
Report

Don't say you want to find your own place. Just do it. Even if relations between you and your parents & sibs improve, make it a priority to move. A studio, a room where you can finally be at peace; doesn't matter if it's a little dumpy and you have to scrape for the rent.

Move out a few belongings at a time, and not a word to anyone. The moment you're ready to take off and not look back, give your parents a one week's notice. Your sibs are going to scream bloody murder, but who gives a s__?

If you decide, however, that you're too financially beholden to your parents then bite your lip and keep living like a doormat. If you go, they'll resent you; if you stay, they'll keep treating you like a doormat and expect you to be grateful.

It's time you respect yourself.
(13)
Report

wow, Sounds like that sinister minister is the one who needs to be going to church. Get out of there asap.
(2)
Report

I am not an attorney, but if either of your parents would need Medicaid down the road, depending on the type of Trust that is made, that money could go back to your parents for them to use to bring down the dollar amount of their assets.... said money would be for their care only.

As for you threatening to leave, I know this is family, but if this was outside employment would you stay under the same conditions? Of course not. Everyone gets burnt out doing caregiving, and that is what is happening to you. Time for the changing of the guard, either your siblings step in to help or your parents hire caregivers.
(8)
Report

Money is so important in my family that my mother wants to get a trust set up - wouldn't be a huge amount - for me (to compensate me for my trouble, I suppose) My father wants nothing to do with it. Sad to think that money is supposed to somehow take the place of feeling unsupported, but I guess this is what I've been dealt. I really think that my mother doesn't believe me about moving out. I feel like everyone has me exactly where they want me, and I have no choice about anything.
(0)
Report

I agree with Pam totally. But it's not clear from what you said whether you can actually afford to move out without relying on financial help from your parents. And, it's not clear whether that help would continue if you were to move out. If you need the financial help and if it would dry out if you left, then moving out may not be the way to go. Getting your financial ducks in a row may have to be the first step.
(4)
Report

Put your name on the waiting list for subsidized housing. On the other hand, don't keep bringing it up. Wait silently. Go swiftly. You have done your part.
(8)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter