I am faced with the most difficult decision of my life.

Hi dear friends, hope this finds all well. There are so many things to do, and take care of when a loved one dies. I have support from my family, husband, daughters, son-in-law too. They helped me clean out dads apartment at the ALF. He did not have too much, since I was still not done decorating, and hanging pictures I brought back from his house out of state. I have so many unfinished things that I was going to take care of for him. I feel so empty without him here. Memorial is Tuesday, in a beautiful mountain setting just down the road from me. Dad went out in a good way. He made so many friends at the ALF. The caregivers just loved him, and we hugged each other today, and cried together. They were angel caregivers.
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled-room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little and not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared.
Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of life's plan
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the family and friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me, but let me go.

This will be on the prayer cards. God Bless you my dear friends. I am so thankful to my Dad for letting me be in the room with him, when he was called to home. It was just him and I, and an honor to be with him. I heard the last beat of his heart, when I put my head on his chest. I miss you Daddy!

Dear Naus, what a beautiful spirit you have, and such love for your Daddy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and the poem above. My heart goes out to you at this time, and for all you have to process, still. Thankfully, you have the support of family through this season of life, and they have you.

Despite your trials and tribulations, you are still such a blessing to those of us on this site. Thank you for your updates. Will continue to lift you in prayer in the days ahead. Hope your Dad's memorial service is a precious time of remembrance to you and your loved ones of your Daddy's life to those he loved. I pray you are richly rewarded to have been such a wonderful help and blessing to your Daddy, in his need, through the final days of his life. May your sorrows be lessened knowing you were a very good daughter to your Dad. God be with you and your family, dear Naus.

Dear Naus, Thank you for letting us know how you are doing, been thinking of you and will always be thankful of our friendship. God Bless you, keeping you in my prayers, Michele

Thank you dear friends. I appreciate your kind words, and prayers. I had so much unfinished business for Dad. I had promised that I would do certain things, like make sure the person who took financial advantage of him is brought to justice, and that I would try and get all his money back. Some would say, why bother, he is dead now. I say, that I made a promise to him, and I intend to fulfill it. Especially when it comes to that person being brought to justice. I intend to see that person in an orange jumpsuit. "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord". But I am not out for vengeance, I am out for justice. I don't want this person taking advantage of another senior citizen, as long as they live, not while I am alive. The depression was brought on my father, by this person financially devastating my Dad, and in this life, or the next, will pay.

So sorry you have to go through all of that, but understand. My FIL was defrauded, too. (In a different way.) But we were too late, the trail too cold, and covered by the clever bank, and Dad's Dementia too entrenched. I hope it doesn't take too much from you.

How's that wonderful daughter of yours doing? And how are you doing after all you've been through? Take care of you and your family. And I pray you find some rest and peace.

Hi Sister, my daughter is much stronger than I am. She is doing fine considering. My oldest daughter took it hard, but my middle daughter took it the hardest. I am missing him so much. It hurts so much whenever I think of all he had been through over the years, and this past year. But he had fun his last week at the ALF. I found out, and I am supposed to get some pictures from the Senior RN, of a Luau that they had last week. I heard that my dad danced with one of the residents, who was about his age. She was a dancer, as a rockette in New York. How cute, and I can't wait to get the pictures. On that day, he told someone he was going to call me, and let me know about the Luau, but he never did. I wish he would have, I would have went. I guess it wasn't meant to be though. I'm still handling the last minute details of his services, and the obits. I went today and ordered a special flower arrangement for him from us. The shop owner said she would make it special and colorful for him. I love living in a small mountain community. This flower shop owner has a friend whos mother is in the same ALF as my Dad was. And she liked my Dad a lot, and would sit next to him and hold his hand, and put her head on his shoulder, and kiss his cheek. I'm so glad he had made friends there. The caregivers just loved him so much. It really is a happy ending for him. I will take care of all the rest. It will take time. Like I said, the person who financially abused him, was a trusted Insurance Agent, who had him moving his annuities constantly, just so they could collect a commission. And he sufferred huge penalties everytime, because they would have him pull his money out early. This person worked for about 4 different insurance companies at the same time. This person also was taking loans from my Dad, having him do wire transfers straight from his account to theirs. This person also talked him into taking out a mortgage on his home of 40yrs that was paid for. I will fine suits against this person, the insurance companies they worked for, and the mortgage company, title insurance co., that was involved in this fraudulent mortgage. Who in their right mind, would give a 74yr old man with dementia, whose home was paid for a 42yr mortgage, interest only, ARM loan? Frauds, that's who. They will all pay when I am done. Don't get me wrong, I don't care about money, I am not that way. I would give my heart, soul, every penny I own, to have my Dad back. This is about the principal of the thing. And fighting for all senior citizens. Maybe then, they will change some laws about how senior citizens are being taken care of, treated, or the lack thereof.

Nauseated, you go girl!! I had people that were taking financial advantage of my parents and I had to seek a lawyer to start protection for my parents. Its a LONG story. But laws in our state have a Vulnerable Elder Abuse Law that I plan on using if these people tend to pursue things further. The only issue is that now they are involving the church people in some things and I'm NOT thrilled.

With that aside, you need to protect your father even after life. That is honoring him. You are right, you don't want to see whoever did this get away with it nor should they take advantage of other elders. It is a fine line to define abuse sometimes, but regardless they need to be protected.

Thank you dear friends. Mitzi, thank you for your post. I need all the encouragement I can get right now, to keep up the strength to fight for my Daddy even after death. You are right, I need to honor him. This cannot have happened all for nothing. There is a reason, I need to find it, in order to help others as well. When we all share our personal stories on this site, it helps others who have not yet gone through these things, what to expect, and where to start in handling all of this. My Dad is losing his house to a short sale. He will not get a penny from it. I'm hoping he is not taxed by this short sale. Right now, someone keeps breaking into his house, and taking the things that I left for the current buyer. I just received escrow instructions in the mail yesterday, and need to sit down and ready carefully before I sign. We are still going to Michigan this coming Thursday. My FIL has emphysema, not sure how much longer he will be in this life, as we know life is short. I love you dear friends. You have been such a source of comfort to me. I hope all goes well with you over this next week too. I will keep you all up to date on this financial nightmare, maybe I can help someone. I hope I can, I would hate to think I have been posting here all along not helping anyone besides myself LOL. Love and Hugs to you all, I will bring my information to another thread about legal and financial issues probably. I must think only of one day at a time, otherwise I feel panicky inside LOL about everything I have to do yet again.

Dear Naus, just wondering how you're doing, as the time draws near to your Dad's Memorial Service. Know my heart is with you and your family at this time. Take care, friend.

Dear Naus- I am so very sorry about you Dad being called home he was so blessed with you for a daughter I think a Memorial Service is so great and am glad many people are doing that now adays may you feel Gods presence and strength now and forever more-and please continue with all your friends here it will be a comfort for you and very important for me and the others who care about you and love you it will be hard for you but you know God loves good caregivers and someday we will all be together-It helped me singing some of his favorite old hymns that we both knew so well from our youth and on his prayer cards I had the 23rd psalm printed on it- God bless you my dear and get as much rest as you can and I hope you are surronded with people who love you

Naus, God bless you and your family today, for your Dad's Memorial Service. Praying for your comfort and peace. Take care.

Thank you dear sweet friend. This is going to be so hard, but I am making it really nice for him.

Naus, i made it real nice for my Dad to and for the last 2 1/2 years that has sustained me and made me very happy because I know out of my brother, sister and mother, none of them did anything except show up and I did thinks my father would have loved it was just for him and I take great comfort in that. I know you are doing the same thing and that is how it should be. love you neon