A month ago I wrote to ask advice on how to handle my husband while on a cruise. Most of you said I should not take him. Since I had already paid for the cruise and we had his friends going with us I thought I could handle this. Well this is what happened. He did not act up (medicated him) and he was very excited and happy for two days (cruise was for 6 days). The remainder of time he was confused and kept saying he needed to go home and check on the house. He did not realize he was on a ship and kept asking me to take him home. At one point he thought I was his girlfriend and kept saying he wants to show me what a nice place he had.
Basically he was ok other than that but I now realize vacationing with him is no longer an option as I feel it is unfair to him since he gets so confused.
Our friends were wonderful in helping out but I need time for myself.
Not sure what to do in the future since getting respite care for him At home is expensive if I go away without him. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there

Now that we are home he knows who I am and very happy.

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Sheilaallison1, thank you so much for the update.... it's always good to hear back to see how things went.... we all learn from each other :)

I'm glad things weren't any worse for you. I would suggest you check with your local senior center if you need respite care and funds are an issue. I discovered that in our area, they can provide referrals for free respite care for full time caregivers, though, I didn't inquire about any details, since I was not in need for that service any longer.

Glad it worked out for you and the situation was not worse. She do deserve to get away and refresh yourself as you indicated. You may need to put husband in respite care and there are wonderful residential care facilities that will do respite care. My FIL goes to one once or twice a yr for a week or two each time and it is about $150/day which is about what a vacation per night works out to.

You'll have to factor "his vacation" in with yours in the future and I don't see how it will cost that much more when you consider he won't have airfare or whatever as part of his expenses to stay in respite.

Maybe you go on fewer cruises, or shortee cruise, or go to a resort that works out less, etc for you such that you can afford his respite care.

Good luck.

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