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Blind wife, doing best I can, feel guilty wanting to run for it. (Figuratively speaking- for now)

Pam, in the OPs profile it says that grandson moved in to help out but didn’t really help.
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Glad, I am only 61, had my DD late in life ( my 30s) and DD is 31! My mom is in her late 80s. If his GS is in the teens he is a better man than I was a woman! Am I misreading something? I think some outside help would be a great idea. And where did the info about GS come from? I am lost here and need to catch up! Add on,, I just read the profile, and I still think the GS is older than a teen,, from the description provided.
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Tucson,  I am new here but just read your post.  I can relate.  I mean no disrespect but "'if" you have a church family have you made your burnout known to your pastor?  Often many in the church are looking for a way to serve their brothers and sisters and would be blessed to volunteer a few hours a week to give you a break. Frequently they are those retired in good health who are bored and feeling useless.  Its a win/win.

Having someone come into the home might be a good thing for your wife to change up the week for her too.  This would be no cost to you but would give you a day to run errands or just do something for yourself.  Blessings!
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Amicable separations are wonderful, clearly you were both just worn out. Now grandson is supposed to be helping out. Since wife is just 66 this grandson must be quite young, in the mid to late teens at the most? Why is grandson there? Get him out, through eviction, if necessary. He is too young for that sort of responsibility.

You no longer want the care for your wife, I don't blame you, it is very hard and nearly impossible to live your own life.

Get with a law firm that deals with not only divorce, but elder law. You need to plan on how you are going to get wife into appropriate care without bankrupting you. There are Medicaid program to keep spouse from becoming impoverished.
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I’m sorry your wife has so many medical problems for someone so young. What does her doctor say? Does she need 24/7 care? If so, I would start looking into placement at an assisted living facility (if there are funds), or more likely into long term care and possibly Medicaid. See an elder attorney for your options. There is a long road ahead which challenges even fully committed couples...I can’t imagine sacrificing myself for someone with whom I’ve separated. What if this goes on for another 5 years? 10 years? Look ahead....
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Definitely get some services in there to take care of her so that you are able to have a life outside of caregiving. She may qualify for some assistance, otherwise I hope she has some money to pay for someone to help her out a little more.
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You could consult with an elder attorney to see if finalizing a divorce would be wise. Or, contact the county social services to get her assessed for in-home services. But since you are only separated and not divorced, she may not qualify. Y Medicaid "look back" is 5 years. Since she is only 66 you should take care of things sooner rather than later. Who has her durable PoA? Who has yours? Hopefully you are getting your ducks in a row for your own future care.
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Tucson, I read your profile and saw that your wife is only 66 years old, and has numerous health issues. I realize this isn't the type of future retirement that you nor your wife had envisioned. This isn't easy for her, either.

Would it be possible to budget for a caregiver to come in once or twice a week for a few hours to free up some time for you? If not, is your wife on Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] to check to see what programs are available to help her?
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