All my siblings live out of state. They rarely visit. When they do visit, they either write themselves a check (Sis who is the POA) for their travel expenses, or before they even make a date to visit, they complain about how their jobs are not doing well, they need a new roof, etc "hint-hint" implying that they need money from Parents in order to come for a visit.
I live nearby, and always On-Call 24/7 for them, to take care of household issues, doctor visits, sudden ice cream cravings, etc. But I am never paid, once in awhile for a longer car trip they have given me $5.00 bill "for gas money."
Dad has dementia now, but in talking with Mom about how "un-equal" this feels to me, she seems to understand, but says the out-of-town siblings would never visit if they weren't paid.
My spouse is sick and tired of this "un-equal" system, and has greatly reduced what he is doing (no more midnight plumbing fixes, mouse-trap emptying, etc).
Mom has noticed that spouse is doing less and less. I tried to say, we're sort of tired of how "un-equal" things are.
My point is, if the other kids are getting thousands of dollars once a year to visit (on THEIR schedule) I would like to be paid for all my "travel" expenses for when it is not even MY schedule, it's when my parents WANT me to do something, whatever THEY want.
I feel like I'm a slave to their whims, and the siblings are treated like Royalty!
P.s. my spouse says, we can't be paid because of possible Medicaid lookback; but if that is true, wouldn't my siblings already be in trouble?