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Today was one of the worst days ever. My 77 year old mom with dementia could not have been meaner. She thinks all my help is about controlling her. I have handled the emotional stress, but the physical stress is starting to take it's toll too. She REFUSES everything. I am sooo tired. So sad. Will the mother who loved me ever come back????

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Candy, this is hard, but, maybe it will help to know that nothing you are doing or not doing is going to make your mother the way she was before dementia set it. There may be meds or other changes that will help a little and maybe give you a chance to make a few more good memories, to get a glimmer of the mom who loved you, its worth seeing a geriatric specialist who can help assess for that. And if Mom could be her old loving self to you, like she was when her world still made sense, she almost certainly would! The meanness is the result of her confusion, and something to try to not take to heart the way you would have if she'd ever said or done anything like it before...hugs...
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Candy, it is so hard to see people we know and love, and remember, to be so different that they are unrecognizable... I am sorry you are in such a bad place... have been where you are.... you are not alone.... doesn't help your situation, but maybe your heart and your head, to know so many of us understand... have been so exhausted all I could do was cry..... please see about getting on something, no shame in that... so many of us are on something, for our minds, for our bodies... this job is so hard, and we all need help..... and glad you posted... come back and let us know how you are... thinking of you this evening... hugs across the miles...
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Candy, my heart goes out to you - brandywine is right "this too shall pass" - but till then, is she on any anti-anxiety meds. They truly are helpful. I'm so sorry about the way you are feeling and I've been in your shoes. Hope you can get some respite care; and if not, hopefully meds will help with the moods. Your mom is trapped by dementia and is not the same person. Just remember she still loves you; but dementia is so controlling. You are a wonderful and caring daughter to be caring for her.

But, I know what it is like when the physical stress takes its toll. Find any relaxation techniques you can - and if you are not opposed to it, perhaps something to calm you as well. Blessings and take care.
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Take care, Candy, and think to yourself, "this too shall pass."
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