Need Support - Emotionally separating from Mom and feeling less guilt.

I was just giving backround information about my family. My original question still stands. Trying to distance myself emotionally from mom. That is what I want help with. And not to over react to everything she does and says.

Whatever bond ther is between brother and me is practically non existant. Mom doest have quite a lot of money. But she isnt poor eighter. It's just that she uses her savings to live on. Her income is a small social security check.

I am going to get profesional to run trust when mom dies. Wish I could get guardian for brother and mom. They both have legal right to make their own decisions. They are not incompetent. Just not realistic.

Barbara

Sounds like you are in a significantly difficult spot. I'm sure that a lot of water has already washed over the Dam so to speak.
You most likely have been patient and " been there" for them both over the years. It's never as easy as it seems looking in from the outside.
Do what you feel that you can with the energy you have, find a good support group to help you set healthy boundaries and learn to separate your feeling of "daughter guilt" from your Mom's right to manage or mis- manage her life as she sees fit. The hardest job is that of the loving relative who has to stand by and watch because you can't do anything to help. My heartfelt apologies, for a curt response.
Best of luck to you. Your are in a tough spot.
Getting an uninterested party set up as Payee might be a good idea. It would take the pressure off a bit.

sorry about that Ashlynne.... my point was that they wash their cars, trucks etc...wash their clothes daily, not mom and dad's..... do their chores as if they are home, but never offer to wash a car, clean a porch, cut the grass, but they are able to screw up my mom and dad's tv, computer, put holes in the wall to put up a window shade etc..... I guess, that was all I could come up with at the time..... NO, I do not let them drive or anything else that might harm them.... sorry, again guys..... I thought most of you guys were mind readers ;) lol

I also agree with globetrotter in her last statements.... my mother refuses help from me, tells everyone that I treat her badly and she is all alone, no one to help her, she does everything by herself, and that I am never home. The only time she is nice to me, is when she makes a mistake, either by phone, in person, at home, forgetting to help with dad, because she got side tracked.... I am the scapegoat I guess. It's hard to fathom, because we used to tell each other everything.. But, me being a trusting soul, thinking she would not tell my secret feelings even from years ago, (my family has let me know now) now seem to be the "hit parade" of the neighborhood. It is very hard to be lied to, lied on just to make herself feel better and I am the cause of all things wrong. Now my brother steps in after he thinks dad is on his last leg. HE is the man of the house now.. my dad wouldn't even let him use a power tool, because he said, he wouldn't know what to do with it. which is true.... My dad and I were very close. It hurts like hell that I can't do more for him than what I'm doing. she relies and hangs on every word he makes. If I even mention his name, she screams that I hate him, I've always hated him...... I pray, and pray and God cannot give me more than I can handle, at least that's what I feel...