caregiver for my 81 yr old grandmother who can no longer live alone.(my mother,62, stays 4 nights a week at my grandma's , and I stay 3.) my grandmother has osteoarthritis and mobility issues. shes fallen several times.She can no longer get from the sitting position to a standing position on her own.Shes unable to bathe, and has basically given up on everything... everything except her self pity and emotional manipulation. My grandma has always been negative and hateful. she doesnt like anyone. After a recent hospital stay home health care workers and physical therapists were scheduled to see her 3 days a week. she was rude, uncooperative and signed waivers stating that she didn't want their care.This left all of the burden on my mom and me.At this point my grandma is so critical that I hate to cook or clean... or even TRY to do daily chores for her because she'll curse and say we cant do anything right. often complaining until we do it over. She turns every conversation into a pity party or a depressing conversation.My gran;dma wants ALL of our time dedicated to us sitting at her house and not have a life outside of her. If I'm on the phone talking to a friend she complains and makes me feel guilty .If I play a game on my phone she makes me feel guilty. And when its time for mom and I to switch off - one leaving so the other can go home to relax, my granma instantly starts being hateful to the one whos leaving.her excuse is because we "are able to leave the house and she cant.WE can have a life and she cant.We can go shopping and she cant. " She makes us feel like crap.and to top it off, we offer to take her to restaurants (she says no because she "dont want people seeing her all crippled up") we try to get her to sit in a chair with us out in the yard.She says no because the chairs might tip over.EVERYTHING we offer, she has an excuse. so we stop offering.It's so overwhelming. She wont attempt to shower and recently gave up on washing herself in the sink.She refuses to let us do her laundry (if u do it anyway, the consequences are her cursing and yelling) She's so inconsiderate.I feel horrible saying it.We cant go to bed at night until my grandmas in bed for the night.She will stay up till 2,3,4 in the morning and get up at 8 am.(again with a guilt trip if you say you're ready for bed.) My grandma also has 2 great grandsons who emotionally manipulate her out of her social security checks. (she raised them, so they learned from the best) one is 24 who lives out of state. he always calls wothea sob story (monthly) and shes sending cash in the mail.The other is a 28 yr old drug addict whos in prison (3rd stint) and he calls with his stories too. she sends him over a hundred a month.Plus 40$ because its Valentine's day,20$ because its saint particks day etc.These kids are milking her for her money .she refuses to stop. giving her money away cuts into my moms social security check (she picks up the slack) Im sorry I've gone on so long about her, but I dont see how anyone does this without losing their mind.My grannys always been mean and out of all her children/ grandchildren, my mom is the only child to offer help. all mom gets in return is criticism and hate. I hate being here anymore. Gram even talks mean about my children- who havent done anything to her. The guilt of being tired of pitying up with it is wearing me down.my religious beliefs tell me to care for widows.So guilt and anger have begun to rule me.There's no end in sight.She refuses to keep dr appts ,refuses to eat sometimes (to get her way) and I'm afraid that we will get accused of neglect.