Emotionally abusive father.

I searched this website using those 3 words and a number of posts came up: You're Not Alone. Many have been or are in your shoes; the details may vary but the pain is similar. The posters received a lot of commiseration and care. You can, too.

There's an article, Elders Who Abuse Their Families. Please try to read it because there are some practical things that could help you.

Find time to do something kind for yourself today. Take a walk, watch the clouds or the birds, or one of those relaxation vids on YouTube (like Tim Janis) - something to help you take a deep breath, smile, and maybe even laugh.

Where you are today isn't where you have to be in the days to come.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elders-abusing-their-adult-children-or-caregivers-137122.htm.

I’m pretty sure that you’ll need to ask a question before anyone here can offer you useful support.

Try adding some adjectives and nouns, a verb, and a question mark.