My 82-year old mom is in India. She has always been absent-minded, not remembering when events happened or who is related to whom in the family. Lately she seems to be more forgetful like details of a conversation, names of my kids, name of her DIL, what she watched on TV etc. Our phone conversations now are quite short since she doesn't remember what has happened in her life. Mom's home is also very cluttered and she refuses to let me throw out stuff when I visit her. She reported seeing rats and I did get an exterminator for her. She forgets to flush and the bathroom smells bad. She forgets to pack up leftover food and I have seen ants on the food. Mom pooh-poohs all these issues, saying I am too fancy because "I'm American" and that's her way of life!!! So what stage of dementia this might be? I saw someone talk about stage 6 Alzheimer's in one of the posts here...so I was curious. I've been picking her up from India to stay with me here every 2 years. Now she is asking why can't I do this every year??? Talking to her of the expenses/my life here is of no use since she just tunes out or doesn't understand. She even told me to quit my job here and stay with her there. Is it ok for me to say absolutely not??? I will go mad and bankrupt if I have to ferry her every year in business class. When I vaguely mentioned to my relatives that I might get a home aide to stay with mom in India, they looked like I was crazy and how I have to move mom here with me, come what may...it is my duty etc etc...anyway, mom would never let me hire an outsider to care for her. (I am exploring getting her a green card & posted this in the "new to caregiving" forum). So the way to deal with all this is: I should be just thick-skinned and let all this slide off and ignore my relatives and mom's idiotic reasoning that "I am American?"" Thank you so much....and good luck to all of us dealing with our parents.