My mother has probably suffered from depression most of her life. Now at age 90, she has become more abusive and angry toward me and one of my brothers. She refuses to accept our help or advise about anything and I am growing so tired of her anger and accusations. We recently arranged for a professional property manager to handle renting her apartment. When the apartment didn't rent as quickly as she had hoped, she complained to other relatives who sent potential renters to rent her apartment. She called me to tell me that she had accepted a deposit from someone. I had to call the Property Manager to advise her of what my mother did. The Property Adviser was understanding and returned the keys to the apartment. Well, the deal fell through and now my mother is blaming me for "jumping the gun" and letting the Property Manager know what she had done. I don't know what I should do. Whenever my brothers & I have tried to help her, she refuses to listen to us and accuses us of everything from trying steal her money to not knowing what we are talking about. I would like to try to re-establish the contract with the Property Manager we initially contacted. My brother & I were impressed with her appropriateness and professionalism. My mother was insulted because this woman contacted me about the status of the visits not her. The Property Manager had told us from the beginning that she preferred that the person renting the property not be involved in case something happen, it can create problems if the renter try to deal directly with my mother for things such as non-payment, rent increases or decreases, etc.

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You did the right thing. Can you get your mom to a geriatric psychiatrist for an evaluation?

In your shoes, I believe I would also talk the doctor about seeing if there is some cognitive decline or dementia occurring. The suspiciousness about stealing money often is reported by those close to dementia patients.

Would it be possible to have her doctor evaluate her for depression and for possible dementia so that she could be given some medicine if she would take it. This all sounds like a big if to me, but I had to ask. Good luck!

You did the right thing by letting the Property Manager know that your mother had accepted a deposit..... what if the Property Manager had found a qualified tenant and was about to have them sign the Lease? That future tenant would have walked.

Don't be surprised if the Property Manager bows out from managing the property. Overseeing rentals is a thankless job, and managers prefer not to have an owner who tries to take over.

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