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So, I go up to get cleaned up and low and behold I come down and in just a matter of a few minutes he has forgotten we were going out and was already eating a lunch he fixed for himself. I guess lunch is out, maybe I will try for supper??????? So here I sit while he is taking his normal nap and everyone else in the family is out running around having a good old time. They seem to think that he can be left by himself. I dont think they will ever get a clue.

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Have all of the siblings sat down and discussed what the future holds? The "I am busy" doesn't cut it. Do your sibs feel that since you and hubby moved in, that you are in charge of dad and they are no longer responsible? It is highly unfair for you to have given up your life when your sibs should be carrying their fair share. Of course, it's usually one of the kids who gets tagged "your'e it". I still don't understand why this happens, my sis never stepped up either.
I guess it's pretty unpopular to ask, but would dad be better off in a nursing home or assisted living, where you could visit him frequently? You could move back to your own home, have a life with hubby and still see dad. This in no way reflects on how much you love your dad. Its not like you are kicking him to the curb. But would your dad want you to be so unhappy and so worn out? Wouldn't he want you to have the life you and your husband deserve?
My adult daughter and I discussed what to do with me when I get old and sick. I told her under no circumstances was she to give up her life to care for me. When it comes time, to the nursing home or assisted living I shall go. I've read too many posts here of people giving up their lives to care for the parent and then wearing themselves into the ground and being terribly unhappy. I do NOT ever want that for either of my kids. I told them getting old and ill is just part of life. We deal with it and the way I choose to deal with it is not to make their lives miserable. Heck, I've spent their whole lives making things good for them, why should the end of my life be the end of theirs?
I sure hope you and your family can come to some kind of agreement regarding your dad's care. You have done more than your share, it's time for the others to have their turn.You sound like such a sweet lady. I wish you good luck.
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I have asked and I just get "I am busy" answers. A couple of siblings help out some but dont have a clue that a couple of hours a week just doesnt really make that much of a difference. The other siblings just do nothing at all.
I would just like to go out with my husband by ourselves, go back to my own house and hang out (we moved in with dad) go out with friends like my husband and I used to do. How do I do it if everyone else seems not to be able to help out because they are busy. I am tired of entertaining dad every day and weekend. I love my dad but I would like to have my old life back. I am so tempted to just tell my other siblings that I have done my share (3 years worth) and amd ready to move back into my own home and it is someone elses turn. I am sure nobody will step up.
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happy b day- i know its hard- i am starting to go to the store at nights round 9pm when my mom goes to sleep i feel like a vampire- stay in all day go out at night...lol! mom gets dizzy and may fall- so she has to be walked to the bathroom or outside or wherever... its getting tough its only been 4 months she is 79, i am 48, alzheimers, but other sibligs live to far away to help....now that its hot she does not like to go outside- will have to get wet towel to put on her shoulders and maybe keep her feet wet.. ... have to be creative- did you ask??? i sometimes expect my son or daughter to watch her but if i dont ask there not going to offer- good luck
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wittnit, Happy Birthday! I know you're disappointed, I sure would be. Everyone deserves to be treated to a good birthday celebration. I hope you get to go out for supper. As soon as dad wakes up, can you load him in the car before he decides to eat again? Shame on the others for not letting it be your day.
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