I have spent 3 of the last 5 days at my parents house. It has made me ill to the point I can barely get up. Abnormal? Friday I just had to come over. For what, my Dad hurt his back so they both went into I cant function at all mode? What was so urgent that day? As they sat upon their thrones and barked out orders: Blow the leaves, vaccum (sp?) water my plants, go get the mail, take care of the trash, go pick up lunch (plenty of food in the house, I had just taken them to the store 2 days earlier), send an email for me, wrap this present for me. Truly what was so important I had to drive 50 miles r/t and burn 1/4 tank of gas? None of it! My Mom called and needed me over with desperation in her voice. I am not their Cinderella (with no prince at the end)! How do I tell them that along with my brothers and sisters that act like help (rare to none) from them should be counted as gold? I have never been so physically sick from stress in my life, and yes I have my own on top of my King and Queen parent's demands. I feel like trash when they treat me like a servant! And yes some of the stuff they wanted me to do I said no to. Ok I have vented, any advice?
I know it's hard. Like Kimber above, my mother would yell and scream at me (although in her case it's more like crying and shaking, but still with verbal insults like, "You are not right in the head!").
If your mother points out that she put a roof over her head, make sure she knows that you took care of her. (Although if she's like my mother, she will think that's nothing. My mother is going to find out just what my help was worth when she pays agency workers for minimum numbers of hours the next time she becomes incapacitated. It will become quite a scene when I refuse to take care of her and suggest my brothers take turns and come down.)
It's that "trying to be respectful" thing that gets us every time. You are young, but even for some of us that are (much) older, it is hard to defy our parents, even when they are being completely unreasonable. We want to hold on to our "respectful child" role and change them back into "reasonable parent" mode.
Over time, you'll understand in your bones that it doesn't work that way and you'll let go of the need to maintain a show of "respect" for your parent. None of us wants to get in our parents' faces, telling them in so many words (or no words) that they're being unreasonable, stupid, or mean. Eventually most of us do it though. It's what is needed to set boundaries.
I like to say "you don't get to decide what anyone else should do. you just decide what you will and won't do." The problem is that when your parent is right on top of you, you end up having to justify not doing what you won't do. And that involves conflict, and calling a spade a spade, perhaps at the expense of feeling (and being) disrespectful of your parent. Eventually it will feel normal and okay to you.
You'll get there. In the meantime, you need to move out and make yourself less accessible to her. A lot of this is happening because you're in her house and she thinks you're still her kid and she can send you around to do her business however she sees fit.