Elderly parents in major debt

my family and I have taken care of my parents but both gone now we have an in-law apt everything included meals laundry 24 hr care heat and elect tel, cable furnished , errends , doctors apt. We charge about 2000.00 a month. if we can be of help let us know,

Al least have a health care proxy-we never expected my husband to become critical overnight esp. when he had so many work-ups on his many trips to the ER and most important you need to talk about the end of life and their wishes for a funeral even though no one wants to talk about and your children must know what you wish you never know when decisions need to be made during a difficult-you also need to know if someone is on life support they can be taken off easily my sister was told if my mother needed life support she had to stay on it-that is not true but people are told this often by hospital staff and a nurse was downright rude to me when I would not sign a DNR before I even got to asses his condition -years before he was unresponsible for over a week and woke up and lived many more years-since I was a nurse myself I knew the facts and needed to give him a chance to recover and my grown children had the right to see their father while he was alive-as time went by it became clear that he could not recover and we stoped everthing except the vent and pain meds and he died within 12 hrs.

My mom was in a similar situation and I went to an elder attorney that provided some good advise. All of the above is excellent advise. Good luck

One possible lesson is why parents should give their adult children Durable POA before they get real old so that they can have someone step in legally when they are no longer competent. To do that would require having medical POA as well.

Our oldest just turned 18 in March and our youngest will turn 18 next November. I believe it would be good planning for my wife and I to give them durable and medical POA, particularly since both of us are disabled. I think that my wife and I need to first do the same for each other.

LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES!

That is right you are not responsible for their debts and since they have no money they may be able to get medicaide and receive home care in my state medicaide pts. receive much care and medicare pts. get the short end of the stick-I had to learn to make alot of noise to get any help for my husband when he was suppose to get home care one nurse made all the decisions even if she had never been to our home and one reported me to APS for no reason the case had no merit and a case worker came to my house pertending to be asocial worker and put the fear of God in me. Nothing came of it but it was very distressful and later on I found someone in power who was able to make areport on her and followed up on it for me.

1. Go to Florida and find an atty where the live and ask for some advice.

2. Talk with your parents about them giving you Durable and Medical POA. If nothing else, at least get Durable POA for both.

3. Take them to a doctor for an evaluation of their mental competency.

4. Do not seek to pay off their debt yourself. Although you may well have to foot the bill for the POAs, that will be well worth it.

So sorry to hear of your parent's predicament.

Sounds like this has been going on for awhile and may be too complex for simple answers here.

I would recommend starting with a good credit counselor that may be able to get some of the debt reduced. Also, and elder attorney may have some suggestions about debt consolidation or even bankruptcy.

Do they own their own home? If so, are they able to downsize to pay off the debt?

If they meet the income guidelines, Medicaid can provide some nursing home assitance, etc. (Do not know too much about this area.)

Lastly, do not take on their debt or co-sign for loans etc...you should not risk your savings or livelyhood.

Good luck