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Like I said two days ago......the constipation ( in my mothers mind) cycle will start all over again. She blasted two days ago and already today she is moaning and groaning again about being constipated. (Is it possible to be constipated two days after you had a fecal blast?) Anyways, she is begging for her 'fix'....her drug of choice.....her laxative pills. This crazy thing repeats itself over and over again......there is no end to it. She has zero patience to let anything work to produce a bowel movement. I cannot try any of your suggestions....because if something does not bring immediate relief, then my mother will not try it. She wants the quickest acting laxative on the market. See what my life is like.....every two days or so.....I'm held hostage my my mothers bowel movements. Boy, that would make a great topic for a talk show. A 54 year old unmarried man.......living a crazy life with his 88 year old mother......held hostage by a lady obsessed with shitting........the curse continues.
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My Mum has a bad hernia. She had surgery on it many years ago, but any help that was, has worn off. I am sure you would know if she had a hernia? But, just sayin'... this sometimes causes them to suffer more, even if they aren't constipated, they think they are.
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hi roscoe888
I know its hard to deal with, with my mom it's either poop all night or no poop at all, I really want to talk about something other than my mom's b/m's I keep track everyday on paper so I can tell her when she last went or did not go at all. I really think we become so aware that it takes over, they know what they are doing and I know that my mom can choose to get even when she wants to. I'm sorry you are going threw this, believe me you and I are not alone, thanks for your responds it does help. It's not a curse but at times it does feel as though it is, love a lot and than cry.
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miralax works! and you get nothing explosive like you do with the magnesium citrate. it can also. be mixed in milk or jiuce and is flavourless.

my mother used to be a milk of magnesa junkie... this has cured her.
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My day is ruined even before it started......today is another 'constipation day'.....hoorah! My mother has been going fairly regular (I have seen it), but if you ask her.....she hasn't had a bowel movement in the last year (in her mind). Anyways, she was moaning this morning and I had to give her, her 'drug of choice'......laxatives. Now she is complaining about the cramping in her stomach......which indicates a bowel movement with soon be happening......and then tomorrow and the next day it will start all over again and she will be begging for the laxatives again. The same vicious cycle will repeat itself again and again. The elderly have a certain knack at being very capable at torturing their caregivers. I think the elderly have a secret society that plots and gives them ideas on how to mentally torture their caregivers.....LOL. Like I always say......the curse continues.
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Get a powder called Calm its magnesium, you put it in juice and it will help her poop. It will also relax her and possibly give her a better attitude, my mom goes threw this at 96 years old, it's one way or the other, she can sit in a chair all day, get up go to bed and than wake me up in the middle of the night with a depends full of poop. Than she can go 7 days and nothing it drives me insane. I wish all of you luck in this challenge we have taken on, thanks for sharing it helps a lot !!!
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Also a daily topic of conversation with my 89 year old mother with severe degenerative spine disease, and on narcotics to manage severe pain. (constipation is a side effect of narcotics). We too recently spent a night in the ER for a clean out, a very degrading and uncomfortable experience for any human being. We anticipate repeat visits down the road as needed, and monitor a daily regimin of laxative products. We try to grin and bear the daily conversations, even over breakfast, since we, my sister and I who are co-cargivers are the only support system she has. And...as we are both in our mid to late 60's ourselves, we realize our own vulnerability as we age, and hope that we to have someone to talk to as we go through these effects of aging.
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This seems to be a "dementia thing" as I was told by nursing staff 3 yrs ago. My youngest adult son took his Grandmom several times to get laxatives! ( several times) w/o my knowledge. They become affixiated in their bowels. But this too shall pass as one if many stages if this terrible disease. That was 3.5 yrs ago. She was placed shortly thereafter. 3 years ago the 15th of this month
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margarets, that sounds DELICIOUS. And you are right, just loads of fiber without fluid can even pack you up worse.
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This is the necessary combination: high fibre foods and lots of water. It has to be both, not just one or the other. The high fibre foods can be normal foods, not processed stuff with "high fibre" on the label. Lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains and LENTILS. Lentils sweep out your system.

Something like a red lentil, tomato and pumpkin chili, served with homemade coleslaw, then a homemade date square for dessert - BOOM.
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yeah, the never ending cycles of packing up and blowing out have got to be painful, frustrating and unhealthy!

is there anything she would be willing to take more regularly in preventive mode - with a watery stool, hold maybe one dose and then use a lower dose daily, e.g. start with 1/2 to 1 dose Miralax daily and then maybe just 1/2 every other day?
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Omg, I guess I am not the only one that has to constantly deal with poop issues. It's everyday -- first constipation, then stomach aches, then giving of laxatives, then diarrhea, then constipation again. I guess when you get old you have lots of time on your hands so your poop is just one more thing to worry about. DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!
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There is a new medicine, is Linzess.
I do not take it every day, but it is effective
with constipation, I get really uncomfortable
and always have, my entire life,
I hope I won't end up talking about it all the time,
but it does make you feel sick and weak...

Constipation effects me from my mouth to
you know where and everything in between.
I take the medication every couple of days.

I am one of those people you have read about
who should not eat "white".

In the new year, I will be trying to switch to a more ayurvedic diet.
They use teas made with spices, such as cumin, coriander and fennel for Constipation.
Cardamom, clove, chamomile, I drink it soothes the stomach.
and drink "ghee" (clarified butter) to go to the bathroom.
they suggest warm milk at bedtime with ghee in it..., cod liver oil in extreme cases or lemon juice in warm water with a pinch of salt.
Look up ayurvedic herbs for constipation, you will see fruits, dark green leafy vegetables, and water, etc.

For my body type, they suggest broccoli and cauliflower, but it is the rest in combination, mustard oil, ginger, garlic, turmeric, mustard seeds, cardamom, coriander, 1 cup arugula, pumpkin seeds. This was on the Dr. Oz show.
I also bought the book Nutritional Healing from B&N and am also doing the one plan by Yogi Cameron.

I want to regain my strength, purpose and focus again,
since becoming a caregiver, I feel tired, and have gained weight.

Hope this helps.
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Miralax - Best way to use is to use a couple doses a day for a clean out first, if you can stand it, then half or even less dosage regularly every day or every other day as preventive. Need to avoid packing up then blowing out repeatedly which is an easy trap to fall into.
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OMG!! My 94 year old father is the same way! He drinks Milk of Mag like water. Take stool softeners daily, drink prune juice, water and gets VERY beligerent when he's constipated (or thinks he is). Miralax daily seems to help. As well as a journal. As crazy as it may sound, keep a poop journal to show her the last time she pooped. My father forgets that he had one and the obsession, the anger, the cursing starts all over again. Showing him when the last time he had a bowel movement sometimes helps. Frankly, I did not know anyone could be talk sooo much about crap (ha!)
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Roscoe. Start by taking that lock off mother's door. Give her a stool softener every night.
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My mil spent her last months caring for a stuffed cat and baby doll. She was convinced both were real and 100% dependent on her. They gave her life meaning in a very real way.
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The world of elderly people gets smaller every day and they have so little beyond their selves and their physical beings to think about far too often. Also they are often in pain, and it's harder to think about other people and things when one is uncomfortable. That's why it's so important to try to stretch their worlds as much as possible. Give them someone and something else to think about!
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Today started off as a peaceful day. My mother had to ruin it with her 'constipation talk'. When this turmoil starts......it overwhelms me inside and actually gives me a sick feeling. I feel that way right now. No one knows what I go through. I can tell people, but it's not the same as actually being here to see it. It's like the elderly mind has no reasoning.....no remorse. As long as they are tended to....at any cost......that pleases them. I can see that my mothers mind/thinking is not what it once was. I'm trying to do the best I can under crazy conditions and now this constipation obsession is taking over her life. I mean it's constantly on her mind.
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Talk to doc about mineral oil, or maybe giving her a little metamusil mixed in her morning juice?
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My mother started arguing with me again today about her constipation. She is in the mindset now where she thinks she should have a bowel movement every single day. A few days ago I gave her 3 laxative pills.....no results. The next day i gave her the dreaded milk of mag.......many hours later she had a bowel movement. Now it's a few days later and she tells me it's been weeks since she pooped. When I told her she just went a few days ago......she calls me a liar. We can be sitting here peacefully (like today) and then shes goes into her relentless arguing with me about not being able to poop. She will keep it up and keep it up......she is driving me crazy! There is nothing I could feed her that will help her......because she won't give it a chance. If it doesn't work right away then she says it won't work for her. Her new favorite word to call me starts with a F and ends with a K. Yes, this comes from the mouth of a 88 year old lady. She likes to 'punish me', by going upstairs into her bedroom and locking the door when we battle over her constipation. She is abnormally obsessed with this.......she is relentless. She will keep it up and up and up about her 'constipation'. I'm going crazy with her! The curse continues......
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If you can't get the yogurt into the diet, try acidophilus supplements .. we use a liquid form and add it to a beverage. So tasty, too. (Shades of Lucy, there.)
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I can identify with the frustration. We've been to the ER room for this when it got really serious. I think sometimes its also their way of getting attention. For us, encouraging grandma to eat more fruits like papaya seemed to ease things.
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I will say that no matter what, I will not put my fingers to manually remove anything. I just cannot imagine me doing this. I have to tie a scarf around my nose and mouth just to help hubby up off stinky toilet. Have to give some of you major credit!
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I know of a case where extreme constipation caused a leaky gut. Serious infection and near death experience.
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Cit rate Nitrate or something like that can be purchased at Walgreens, I consider myself a poop/ and incontinence expert. As with any use with care and read instructions - It is very important that she poops regularly. It affects your entire system.
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Water ,beans, some of the greek yogurts are not sour (plain can be used like sour cream) when they are constipated it not the not going, it is the painful stomach ache they have until they do go and their is nothing ever comfortable or clean about forced diarrhea. Their diets have to be almost consistent day to day.

The trouble is many old people do not like the tast of water because theuy are so dry, they think their bad breath is the taste of the water, not visa-versa.
Ours thinks she has toast and coffee for breakfast but it is oatmeal with egg cooked in like pudding with prunes on the side, every morning.
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Not my favorite subject but here is my two cents.
One thing to be aware of when a patient appears to have diarrhea it may simply be leakage round a huge lump of poop. If all else fails a manual extraction is on the orders for the day. Have your loved one lie on their left side. Put on an exam glove and lubricate - KY works well- but if all else fails cooking oil will do. Gently massage the anus and slip your finger in. Do it slowly and pause to let the internal sphincter relax. If it spasms it is very painful. Make sure your loved knows what you are doing every step of the way. Use your finger to hook out any feces you can feel. You can follow with a suppository or an enema if your loved one can tolerate further intervention at this time. Make sure the bed is well protected before you start this adventure because there could be an explosive result. If you have a chux use that or a towel with a garbage bag underneath works too. If your loved one is female and you can't get feces out rectally then with her permission put on a clean glove and put a finger in her vagina and you may feel lumps of feces through the back wall of the vagina. Try and stroke them down so they exit the anus. as I said not my favorite subject but you gotta do what you gotta do. Never ever place a finger in the vagina after you have put it in the rectum. The other way round is fine. this is to prevent harmful bacteria from the rectum being transferred to the vagina. Also many elderly people have hemorrhoids which can be very painful so before you start rub some numbing ointment on them, the stuff you use for cold sores is good. Make sure your fingernails are not long. If one of the hemorrhoids should pop there will be bright red profuse bleeding. Do not panic. Apply pressure to the area using a clean cloth, gauze swabs or anything handy. You may need to keep the pressure up for 15 - 30 minutes for the bleeding to stop afterwards put on a pad to catch any further bleeding. Remember a little blood goes a long way but if you are really worried and unsure call the EMTs If your loved is taking warfarin to thin their blood you should call the EMTs at once while you continue with the pressure. I didn't want to frighten those with no nursing background just a reassurance about something that can happen and not to panic if it does.
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For some it's probably the most excitement they have all day.. ;)
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push liquids....and bisacodyl tablets are great when she gets blocked.Just take it in the morning so she wont blow out the bed!
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