My boyfriend (BF) of 9 years has a mom who is off-the-charts needy. She doesn't make sound financial decisions and has some kind of crisis every day. His older brother (OB) lives 10 minutes from their mom but isn't speaking to her. BF lives 3 hours away and has had to go see her 5 times in the last 6 months. She calls 5 times a day and is currently VERY EXCITED about getting involved with Nu Skin (there's no chance she'll do anything but lose money -- not enough friends to sell the stuff to). All of our lives are falling apart and OB is not only NOT helping, but criticizing BF constantly. They yell on the phone EVERY SINGLE TIME they talk. My parents have been gone for years and I know how hard this is, but my BF is getting the bulk of the stress. He didn't sleep last night and he's not able to put in the hours he needs for his work from home job.
I have agreed to step in and help. OB will not like this one bit and I don't care.
Mom has no car but can use Uber to get around.
She has lost a lot of friends because she can't just have short, happy conversations.
Seriously, people avoid her.
She recently thought a stranger on Facebook was going to come see her and they were going to live happily ever after.
She believes God is telling her what to do.
These are my plans:
1) Find a reputable person to go in and check with her two or three times a week. (The brothers thought they had someone but it didn't work out -- help?)
2) Have BF get a durable power of attorney if he doesn't already.
3) Take over the bank accounts and set up automated billing for everything possible.
4) Take away Mom's credit cards.
5) Give her a weekly allowance either with cash or a refillable debit card.
Am I missing anything? Where do I get help on #1?
Thanks in advance!