Mom has put me on the ultimate guilt trip. After five years of taking care of her full-time, and falling numerous times in our apartment has been put in the nursing home. Now she is accusing me of having given up on her and telling me I don't care about her anymore. The truth is I am the only family member coming to visit her regularly and doing things for her on a regular basis at the nursing home. I am still spending my afternoons over there and most of the day Sunday. I had things pretty much on an even keel until Medicaid told mom she had to cash in her life insurance policies and that they were counted as assets, now she refuses to sign the papers and is fighting being in the nursing home.

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This Medicaid business is hard. No one wants to give up all they've worked for to pay a nursing home, but that happens to many families.

You have no need to feel guilty. Your mom will take time to adjust and meanwhile just keep telling her that she needs more help than you alone can give her. You love her and want her safe. Keep visiting and doing what you are doing, but if she gets abusive, you will have to stand up for yourself and say you won't be treated like that. If you need to skip a visit or something to make your point, do it. That can work wonders.

The bottom line is to keep telling her that she is now safe, and you were frightened for her. That is the route many of us had to take. My mother's falls were the reason she finally had to go into a nursing home. She fell weekly or more and I couldn't get her up. She got hurt many times.

You will weather this. Keep coming back for support.

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