My mom cannot live alone any more. I need some advice on what to do with her.

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Sorry I didn't include why. Mom fell 3 weeks ago and wound up in the hospital and then rehab due to swelling in her legs from arthritis, blood infection. This is the 4th time this year she's been in the hospital and rehab. She's used up all her Medicare days so this last stay she had to pay privately. She has her own home but there are a lot of stairs to climb to get into it. My husband and I are getting the house fixed up to sell. She's trying out Assisted Living at least for a month or two and she already hates it. She's not mobile enough for AL b/c she doesn't feel well enough to take part in all the activities. AL is too expensive to just use as living quarters and she's not at all ready for a nursing home. I don't know what to do. My house is a retirement home so I've got limited space. I thought maybe renting a little home close to my home would be good and then I could hire a homemaker/caretaker to stay with her. I visit her at least 4 times a week so this would be much easier. It would be a lot less expensive than AL. I don't know if this is the answer. Need some advice.
KAY2:

I'm sold on renting the little home and hiring a caregiver.
thanks edvierajr. I think so too. I just called her and she's miserable.
What about Adult Foster Care? We had really good luck with that with my father-in-law. It only had one other man at the time. Plus it was cheaper than Asst living.
I never heard of adult foster care. Never hurts to check it out. Thanks. A friend gave me the name of a caregiver she interviewed for her father who she really liked but her father didn't. She said her father is very difficult to deal with and doesn't feel he needs a caretaker but she said the woman was excellent. I'm going to set up some interviews. Assisted Living is so expensive. I can't see paying all that money is my mother is unhappy and won't utilitze any of the activities. I'm trying so hard to do the right thing.
A caretaker can be very expensive also my mom had one. It start out 4hrs a day then went to 8 at 17$ an hr and she was not happy with someone being in her house. assisted living is expensive that is what i am looking into now.
It is hard to make them happy and keep them safe
good luck to you.
Thanks DMP. Assisted Living is very expensive esp since the day we signed the papers to get her in they upgraded her care to almost $2075 per mo more than we expected. That plus the rent is exhorbitant. I checked around and visited several places here in NJ and they're all a la carte. The ones that weren't were awful. I wouldn't want my mother to stay a day at those. They said my mother must stay for 2 years before she can apply for Medicaid. At that rate every dime my mother has will be gone. With the economy being the way it is, I don't even think she'll be able to make enough to pay assisted living for a full 2 years. I've got to think of something else. My Dad passed away when I was young so my mother paid the house off herself by working every day and standing on her feet. I think that's why she has so much trouble with her legs now. It's just so sad. I may just say the heck with it and clear out the master bedroom and let my Mom stay there. I can then hire someone to come in and check on her but I'll be there at night and be able to do the cooking, laundry and anything else she needs. At least she'll be comfortable and won't have to worry about anything. This is such a tough decision. It's all my husband and I think about.
Hello, I found your post as I was searching for a solution to the same problem. Edna is going to be 100 in July of 2012, she has lived on her own all her life but can't really manage any longer. She lives in New Jersey. She cannot afford most of what's available to folks in her position. How did you make out?
Hi PapaJeff - It's been almost a year and a half since I started this post. I decided that Assisted Living was the answer. My house is very small and my mother needed more care than I could give. Assisted Living is VERY expensive but she sold her house and made some money but it was all given to AssistedLiving. She's now applying for Medicaid. The facility she's in will take Medicaid after you've exhausted your assets. I would check around and see if there are Assisted Living facilities in your area that will take Medicaid after your mother's assets are depleted. To get more familiar with Medicaid, call your social services office in your county. Making an appointment with an elder care attorney would help too. I wish you the best of luck. It's not easy.
Thank you. She has very little money, barely enough to pay her bills. We're thinking we can afford to bring somebody in 4 or 5 days a week for 6 hours every day and that will at least give us time to think and her time to realize it's time.

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