The last few weeks my mother has been cycling between good and bad days. Saturday she went into her room at 3 p.m. and I didn't see her again. Sunday she seemed better and had dinner and then went into her room. She talked to me about what I needed to do when she died. Monday she had dinner and we were able to talk and chat. Tuesday I got home from work and she was sitting in her wheelchair looking down and wouldn't talk to me. I started dinner and she told me that she wasn't eating. she didn't care if she ate or drank anything and then went to bed. Today she was very lively. She's been cycling for a couple weeks. I had a cat who was very sweet and loving and a lot of fun. When I took him to the vets for a checkup I was told he had heart failure and I was given meds to give him. He seemed OK for a week or so and then he'd have a bad day. Then as time went on he had more bad days and fewer good days inbetween until he was always having bad days and then he had three really excellent days and then he died. Is this what is happening to my mother?

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Earthquake, it is so hard to tell. Hospice has an article on what to look for when someone gets close to death. Some of the things include sleeping more and eating little. But I know it is difficult to tell. My father sleeps a lot and eats almost nothing. It is like he is in his final days. He has been like this for over 10 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if he outlives me. (He is 90 now.) Has your mother's doctor told you that the end is near for her?

I have the same experience with my husband who is end stage prostate cancer... I want to get off the roller coaster.

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