Toileting Dilemma! My mom simply does not go into the bathroom when she has to go.

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My grandmother has Alzheimer's disease (diagnosed a little over 2 years ago) and during her most recent check-up with her Neurologist, he informed us that she is in the moderate to severe classification. She is an otherwise quite healthy 87 year old who absolutely LOVES to walk so she definitely gets around pretty good for her age. She is not at the point where she doesn't know who folks are but she can no longer dress or bathe herself properly and she requires that someone is with her constantly. The biggest challenge at the moment is toileting. She is quite cognizant of when she needs to go, however, she doesn't always go into the bathroom to do it. It's not so much that she waits until the last minute; it's a matter of her simply not going into the bathroom. She has relieved herself in the hallway of her home, in a living room chair at my brother's home and most recently in a kitchen chair in her kitchen. The first time we were made aware that she was relieving herself in places other than the bathroom, we immediately purchased the pull-up Depends for her. The problem with that is because she is cognizant of when she has to go, she pulls them down and proceeds to do her "business" and when she is done, she simply pulls them up. She is not the least incontinent so the Depends proved to be pretty useless in this endeavor. And of course with the Alzheimer's she totally denies having done anything wrong even when the evidence is quite apparent. We are beside ourselves trying to figure out ways to deter her from toileting in places where she is not supposed to. Any ideas/suggestions/recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

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Mom has problems going #2. She thinks it's just gas and pushes until she is compacted. I have given her softner and other products to help. Now she is bound up what can I do. I take care of her at home.
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My mother had a massive stroke many years ago, leaving her paralyzed on the left side. She has diarrhea much of the time, so she has worn the pull up diapers for quite a while also. A year or so ago, she fell down and suffered a broken hip, which was pinned and now home she cannot pull up her diaper and clothing all the way after toileting. This has caused quite a problem for me, because the poop gets all over the place. From the wheelchair/pad to her clothing that is not pulled up to the bed sheets and on and on. I am in a constant state of either taking her to the bathroom each time (which she does not call for me each time, during the night, etc.), or more usually I am changing her clothing, soaking it, trying to get stains out and wash clothing at least once daily. I am constantly wiping the bathroom, her wheelchair, washing the pads, changing her bedding, etc. You can imagine after a year of this I am about at my wit's end. Besides the obvious problems, her need for toileting frequency has increased so where she goes at least once every 3 hours! I can hardly leave the home even for grocery shopping or sleep through the night if I don't want the mess. We are going to start P.T. soon and I am hoping they will be able to help. I feel like;I am run ragged! Any suggestions re perhaps a different type of diaper or pad that she would be able to operate with the use of only one hand? Thanks to all for being here so this type of problem can be discussed with others! Not many places to do that!
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First please know that this is very, very common with Alzheimer's! They have just enough cognition to know they have to go and feel violated if they are touched down there, but not enough to realize where they are when nature calls.
This is a temporary stage and can be helped by renting or borrowing a couple of commodes to place around her house and hiding trash cans, chairs, etc that can be construed as a toilet.
You will have smell and cleanliness issues r/t her resistance to cares, which can be helped a bit by barrier creams to protect her skin and no-rinse lotions you can place on her bottom to make cleanup fast and easier and provide freshness. Some families work on getting into the habit of daily bathing. Even with Alzheimers, you can work them into some sort of a routine which will train their bowels. For instance, I had a gentleman who got into a routine of sitting on the toilet after every meal, then going to his recliner for a nap. This got his bowels into a routine so greatly reduced accidents. (He still enjoyed voiding in heat vents, however, which was a challenge till the end.)

Hang in there!
jean
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I had a commode next to my mothers bed my mom was blind ihad to have her touch the handle of the potty chiar next toher bed..it still got out of hand with her she would wipe herself withthe sheets i kept toilette papaer by her side and wipes.
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Do you have one of those potty chairs next to her bed? I found that by using one of the camping toilet bags in the little waste collector, it keeps down the smell and can be used more than once. Decorate with something that will get her attention. You might have to help her go on it for a week but then she may remember with a few reminders.
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Shai .....I am glad to hear that you are concerned about your grandmothers condition in general and it's so easy to throw in the towel when times get tough, so be strong for her, she needs you. My Mom at the same stage that you speak of, fortunately for me and her, had this problem only once. She was familiar with the surroundings at my house so she knew where the bathroom was. She spent the night at my sisters house and she went pp on the couch. My sister freaked , that only gave my sis an excuse not to have Mom stay with her. She is in a NH now and still goes to the BR on her own but she leaves her room and uses the one in the hall because she knows where that one is and it has a sign "restroom", but she has trouble finding her room, they all look alike I even get confused and have to read her name and room #. Quiz her without her knowing tell her that you cannot find the bathroom and see if she knows where it is , as if your lost. She simply may be to embarrased that she dosen't know or trying to hide the fact that she can't remember. New habits become routine, so set times for her to go like wake up, after breakfast, before lunch etc.post signs for her guiding to BR so she need not ask. If this fails try 2 depends or undies ontop of depends maybe she goes thru the motion of pants and undies down out of pure old behavior and not true concienceness. Somewhere a connection is lost and you have to figure out the link that's missing for her. My Mom never wanted to take pills HATED IT in fact but now she knows 5PM is dinner after dinner pills then bed time. I have noticed all the residents with dementia get aggitated if dinner is late due to pure routine like they are robots and they short circut when routine changes. Good Luck! Hope this helps.
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I can relate to this my mother live withme for a year she was preety independent when she came to live wioth me she always took sponge bathes than I seen drastic changes in the beiging of the summer she wasnt getting washed up. or brshing and cleaning her dnetures i had a ahrd time getting her to tak e showers my friend had to help me out she got so difficult for nay one to care for heri had to put my mom in a nursing home mom was in the late end of life stages of alz demenstia I lost her December 10. whern she came here to live withme didnt want to take showers because she was fearful of falling i offered tohelp her she wantd to do every thing herself when it came ddown to sponge bathes than she just stoped . my mom was 92 years old.. i had a hard time getting her to change herclothes, many times she was so confused would start sceaming she couldnt find the bathroom and went on the floor in her bedroom another time on the lving room floor she was on depends. aound NOvember is hen she got reallly bad was bed ridden than she wason diapers at the home she wa in still use the toilet. i had to get her 24 hour out side care she stopped eatting and couldnt walk any more this desease is so horiible it happened so quick i lost my mom ,,,
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I'm glad my suggestion for the bidet is so widely used, but I have to say there is still the issue of how "Mom" feels. The aides need to be more sensitive to your Mother and her feelings and concerns. No one wants their loved one to be 'poopie' but I also don't want them to feel violated either. I'm sure you all will agree with me. More emphasis needs to be on the WHOLE person. Make them feel comfortable and you can get them to do most anything.

If the tables were turned and it was you, how would you feel. Add any level of confusion to this and you may understand more how she feels.

God Bless... and Happy New Year!!
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I just called Home depot to see if they had the bidet attachment and they said yes, look in the plumbing dept or ask someone to help you. I got our bidet attachment at a European bath and kitchen store here in my little city. You can get one with a seat that will heat if you live up north. There is a water tank that keeps the water warm. I had to have an electrician put in a wall socket close to the toilet . My husband plumbed it in to the toilet. Good luck. It is a wonderful invention.
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that sounds good- where did u get yours?
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