I don't get drunk but it takes the edge off. I take excellent care of my husband but i know this is wrong. Is there anyone else out there that can relate and help me. Being a Christian i feel like my faith should be my strength and so i feel so guilty.
dimentia plus has been drinking "hard Liquor" on top of it. So difficult to know
what the H to do. I have cried for weeks about this, plus other serious family
issues (not related to dad). I got tired of myself. I know the risks of over doing
it and I have made it my mission to stay within some boundaries and to never
drink too much that I would suffer a hangover or other disabilities. I enjoy the release that a few
beers, and/or mimosas allow me throughout the day. We usually go to bed
early and end our evening with a nice dinner and a glass of milk. Further, I
did go to my Doctor to explain my recent behavior (is it ok to have a few mimosas )and the circumstances of my husband's latest intake of hard liquor
and his bizarre behavior when he does that. Anyone is welcome to say whatever
they think will work but the truth is, he can get booze anytime he wants, not from
me but from friends, getting it himself etc. There are no remedies. My husband
and I have had serious talks when he is more lucid in the AM and no hard stuff
involved. My doctor advised this: walk away from the situation (which after 32
years of a wonderful marriage is not an option) or just accept what is happening,
knowing that I cannot control the situation, and "let it go". If that means an earlier
demise or other consequences I cannot do anything about it. He also adjusted
my medications (I had breast cancer 21 Years ago, blah blah, couldn't take
hormones and began a treatment of antidepressants which have served me well
over the years. We have had a wonderful week, no hard drinks, just beer, in
moderation (which for my husband is still about 10 a day) and I don't know if
this will last but I am prepared to accept what I can't control. We have cleaned
the house, done some gardening, worked around the house and started sp,e"spring cleaning"
as well. Cooking together is also another activity we can still do together, again,
only with limitations on consumption. In addition, the best advise I would give is
just "shut up" everytime your partner makes a mistake, misplaces things, does
things that you consider so stupid and you want to point it out, etc, etc. My best
defense is to say nothing, or say "no big deal, I can replace such and such" and
realize that all those little things that go on aren't really important at all, it just
is different from how we have always lived. I have made a huge effort to keep
my critizsm and opinions to myself and be as loving, hugs, kisses, terms of
endearment and we have once again established a working relationship. Certainly
not perfect, not like it was, but a companionship that we both cherish. I am just
hoping he doesn't "fall of the wagon" and then we go back to square no where.
I am taking it a day at a time, as they say. Hope this helps and is not too
contraversial for some of your support team. Love, Mimosa
Men can be caregivers! My husband sits with my mom so I can have time away and get a break. He will even take her potty. He also does laundry, dishes and vacuums. He is extremely helpful so I do believe men can do it, but he also did help with his own mom.
its all good .....
Every care giver has to find a way to deal with their stressful and 2- 3 drinks will not make an addiction and it does not make someone impaired. If I had a couple of drinks and my mom needed to go somewhere I would call 911.
The fact is caring for someone you love and watching them go through things that are unkind and becoming people they would not want to be if they were in control. It is a very stressful job and a couple of drinks is not the end of the world by any means at all.
So we should not judge anyone because a couple of drinks relaxes them. Believe me if I want to relax I will have a drink that is far stronger than beer and I am far from impaired or drunk.
Guilt is an awful feeling and as individuals in similar situations, we need to be supportive and caring. I am sorry but I have issues with someone saying not to have a drink. We have to remember personal choices and we each have to find a way to relax and deal with the wonderful task of caregiving.
Care giving is very challenging, but yet it is very rewarding. You care enough for your loved one to not abandon them to the nursing home and possible abuse they could encounter. Our family members might be disposable to others, but you love them.
Some who answered are alcoholics, may God Bless you all:)
However, I disagree with: if you are concerned about drinking 3 beers a day, then you have a problem. My brother used to drink A CASE OF BEER EVERY NIGHT AFTER WORK!!!! and he never blinked an eye.
I would drink a bottle of water with every beer, or glass of wine. That way you stay hydrated, as mentioned above. Plan your meal before you start drinking or you may eat the wrong things, due to blood sugar spikes.
Do not judge yourself for this. Caregiving is THE hardest, most stressful job in the universe:((( Crazy making!
I say "Cheers" to you, Dear One:) xoxo
I am an occasion wine drinker
You do no harm to yourself or others
A drink cant harm you- however there are lots of persons who disagree
especially of the christian variety
The faith of this god has many paths
It is a firm belief of mine that to care for yourself and hold true to what will
give you peace of mind and ease your burdens in this lifetime
Could go on & on like on a soap box however I am not going to
When working as caregiver or CNA drinking on the job is not ok
however the rules change with the description as a CNA within the
bounds of a professional relationship
Eat well & stay hydrated today!
Another day will bring natural highs & lows to challenge you
Mindful of how your body tolerates the sugar-the risk of depression should this
be a longterm habit
Your own health must be optimal in order to care for others
Seek outside assistance should you feel this is necessary
Lots of qualified health workers ready to be available for private hire
CARE.Com or agancies cush as ACCENT CARE
If you use a crutch to cover up the fact that you've taken a back seat instead of becoming a driver this I feel is a problem. If you reward your self by whatever the choice of a stress release you chose, and this gives you the gas you need to move forward, it's better than running on an empty tank.
The most important thing is the gift life and as long as you focus on protecting a life and you need to refuel to continue, not to ignore, you're not lost.
I feel that faith is a guide and if you hit a bump in the road, your faith is there to smooth out the road you travel to move on.
Been there, got the T-shirt !
As a couple of others have said, a few beers now and then won't hurt - in fact it may help, but only short-term.
Don't over-use. Don't feel guilty. Relax and enjoy! You deserve the wind-down! God will understand your need to unwind. Have faith - He is there for you!
As a recovering Catholic (and I don't mean drugs), a few beers on weekends also helped me relieve stress. For a while I was able to formulate practical responses to my caregiving woes rather than react every time things got difficult. Then I became dependent on the suds; to the point I couldn't begin the day w/o at least 32 ozs..
To drink or not to drink. That is the question which only you can answer.