My mother in law has moved in with me with end stage renal disease and after a lot of agitation was taken off dialysis last week. I have to take care of Dad too who's even older. but the point is that my sister in law who has always sucked out everything from her mother and abandoned her when she was ill (mother in law has no insurance and a lot of money problems which her son, my husband, is grappling with) visited her yesterday and left her absolutely demented. she turned around on me and started abusing me (for keeping her alive) and is staying alive now purely due to a boiling fury against the world, her daughter, son in law and me. my husband is already losing weight with this strain and exhaustion from full work load. Mother in law refuses to listen to pastor or help, and i just don't know how to cope for the few days left. her body's gone but her will is keeping her alive though she says she wants to die.
how do i talk to her? i'm falling ill myself. any tips for staying calm - she's so pathetic but looks at me with such concentrated hatred, i can't even look at her let alone speak and take care. she's utterly helpless and cleaning her diapers has become a kind of crisis, she fights everything.