Does the heartache stop?

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My sweet husband, Bill, passed away last night in our home of end-stage Alzheimer's. My heart is aching. I loved him so much and was blessed to be able to care for him at home during his illness and until the end. His passing wasn't unexpected and I thought I was prepared - but, somehow, I feel unprepared for this feeling of loss. He's been on Hospice since the beginning of April 2014, which has been a blessing. He was confined to a hospital bed in our home since the begin of May. Although the journey has been hard, I am grateful for the time I had with him. He gave me 28 truly wonderful years of marriage. He is the most kind, gentle, loving and unselfish human being I have ever known - and I am a better person for knowing him. He honestly treated me like a queen every single day of my life. I just left the funeral home after four hours of making decisions, arrangements, etc. His headstone will read, "Here lies a kind man." I'm exhuasted, but my heart still wants to break

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the compassion on this thread is so heartwarming, this is so much what is needed.
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Twopups, thank you very much for the kind words. I wish you well. It's so hard.
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Maggie, your response has helped all of us here that are spouses, I will copy and paste into my Keeper notes and when my time comes it will be there for me. I am 68 my husband 84, I see the slipping each and every day now, he is at home with me only ( and two furry girls - our Cockers) and this is where, hopefully, I can keep him until the end. Thank you so much.
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Yes, the heartache does stop. I am in the second year of widowhood. The grief becomes bearable. There is no "standard" timetable, and it takes as long as it takes. But healing will occur. I cherish my memories and move forward. It is easier now than it was a year ago.
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I am so sorry to hear about Bill. I can tell how much you loved him. I like to think that our loved ones have just crossed to the other side and will be waiting for us when we arrive. I hope the thought makes it easier for you to make it through the next few months. I don't think we ever stop missing someone we loved. It just grows easier with time. I am so sorry that he is gone too soon.
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My mom's hospice had a grief counseling group and it was a help. You are in my prayers too. I did think it was even harder on the widows and the ones who had lost children than those of us who had lost parents, and that was way hard enough for me. You are just hitting that one month anniversary now, and there will be first holidays and that one year mark and all kids of other things that will sneak up on you. Plan little things, like time off work, or special memorials, or to have friends around for those times, whatever will comfort you and bring you peace.
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I am so sorry for the pain I know you're feeling. It is heartbreaking. Now is the very worst time . . . at least it was for me. We were married for 26 years. Worked together for 20 of them. We were best friends, lovers and soul mates. He was sick a year before he passed away.

I remember it as if it were yesterday. It's been 18 years. (He was much older than I. I'm 67 now.) After all the hoopla was over, I went outside my country home at night and screamed. All the tension . . . all the pent-up emotions . . . just had to be released. I was lost.

But, know what? The sun will shine again. The joy will return. You'll always hold him in your heart and always be reminded. Music, perhaps, a special song, or the smell of spring time, or the bitter winter cold will bring back strong feelings that you'll marvel at. And, for a longer-than-you'd think time? You'll cry. Or get choked up. And then one day, you'll find yourself humming . . . or laughing like the old days . . . life will take a turn for the better, and you'll marvel at THAT.

Just keep on keeping on, my friend. My mantra was, "Just wake up every single morning and do the next right thing." I still do that after 18 years.

*Hugs*
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He would not want you to hide away, just think of the good times you shared together. You know that I am right behind you on the slide, so your feelings mean so much to me. I honestly have no idea ( which I'm sure you thought also) what I would do when my Husband Norman is gone, not at that point yet for me, but I know it won't be long. I, like you, just know I loved him all along and will to the end. Bless you in your future endeavors, you will make it out from under the covers. Smile for Bill.
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Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's been a little over five weeks since Bill passed and I'm still a mess - and have finally decided to go to a grief counselor. I loved him so much and it was an honor to care for him during his battle with Alzheimer's - he was that wonderful of a man. I'm sure a lot of us think this, but ours was a unique marriage - full of love, goodness and kindness. I am still so sad every day. I want to stop crying at the drop of a hat. I'm still working full-time, so that's helping to keep me distracted during the day somewhat, but I have only this week been able to go back into the office. I have pushed through to begin attending Church again because I owe so much to my Heavenly Father for helping me during the times of Bill's illness when it was so incredibly hard and I wasn't sure I could keep going - but He gave me the strength to persevere. I know He will give me strength now too - but I would love to just go to bed, pull the covers over my head and hide. I'm so hoping counseling will help. Thanks again to all who responded. Your words did help - I promise.
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My husband died four years and 2 months ago and I know the heart wrenching pain that you describe. DRBLESSED is so right. In the dark night of the soul, there is no where to go.........except to search for God. He is where the peace is. Yes, it still hurts and it takes time..........but you will be okay.
I went to GriefShare (go to the internet to find one near you) and it helped. Also, there is a widow's site on dailystrength that helped. "A Grief Observed" by CS Lewis - excellent book
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