I am the caregiver for my mom. Mom= my biological aunt that helped raise me because my mother abandoned me. She has multiple chronic diseases and has lived with me for the past 9 years. It has been 9 years and a rollercoaster of emotions and health scares. I am experiencing burn out and exhaustion. Anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia. No other family to help besides my husband. It is wearing on him and our relationship. I am considering NF permanently but I feel guilty. I feel like I'm abandoning her the way my biological mother abandoned me when I was a kid. I love her and will continue to care for her just not in home, but I just feel so bad. Some days I don't feel like I have the energy to take care of myself. I feel like I've run out of energy and options.
So, your options are to feel guilty for putting her in a care center for professional care
To feel guilty for preventing her from getting the best care to her at this time.
Which guilt sounds more appealing? Sigh. Guilt seems to go with caregiving. It is unearned guilt, of course, but it still feels awful. Since you can't escape the guilt (some counselling might help) you might as well make the decision based on what is best for each of you.
I know you do not mean to insult the many of us who placed a loved one for professional care, but calling that "abandonment" is really pretty critical. My sisters and I placed our mother in a nursing home. There is no way on this planet that we abandoned her.
You'd only be abandoning Aunt/Mom if that is what you decide to do. It sounds like you plan on continuing your love and care and advocating for her.