By clicking
Talk to a Specialist, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I am hoping to have everything set up within the next couple of years - an appointed guardian that will take over when the time comes for me to be placed in a facility or need further care and will have POA over finances and medical decisions - and it won't be one of the kids. I'll have an advanced directive set up and a will. I should do it immediately, but I have so many other obligations right now that I can't even think about it. All I can do is handle what I've got on my plate right now and then handle that as soon as I can.
I asked her once, not long ago, if she was happy there. I told her I felt badly for her having to be there. She made it easy for me and said, "You did all you could do for me - it was time for me to have more care than you could provide". Thank God for those lucid moments where she recognizes that she needs to be in a skilled facility vs. home.
Nursing homes are a whole other story, nobody gets into one unless their physical or mental needs can not be met in any other way. I don't think that they inherently bad, but like Susan says, most people are just existing once they get there. There may be pleasant people and staff, there may be activities, but I can't think of anyone who has lived in one that has ever told me they love it there, it is more of a quiet resignation that this is the best they can hope for until the end.
We're doing a cooking activity in a couple of weeks, where I hope she will be able to participate and enjoy it. We're making something she used to make all the time. Hopefully that will be the start of an upswing for her and I can get her to do more. She will do activities if I am there to take her to them, but not for anyone else.
My Dad recently moved into Independent Living which has Assisted Living options. He said he wished he would have moved there long time ago, as his single family home was becoming way too much for him to deal with but my late Mom refused to move.
Dad is happy he doesn't need to worry about property taxes, his utilities are a lot lower in his 2 bedroom apartment which has a full size kitchen.... no need to worry about mowing the lawn, and especially worry about shoveling snow.... which he was doing at the age of 94.
Dad isn't much on doing activities at the complex, he's happier sitting in his recliner and watching 24 hour local news. Hey at his age, he should do whatever he wants.
The place is expensive, but well worth it knowing he is in a safe environment. He wear an alert pendent [which he wouldn't wear when he lived at home]. He uses his walker all the time [which he didn't at home]. The facility manages Dad's pills which he gets twice a day. Dad's rent includes dinner and the meals are excellent, the setting is like an expensive restaurant. He sits with the same dinner mates each day.