Does anyone fear their mom will haunt them?

The dead have no business being in the lives of the living. When you imagine these things just tell her to f*clk off and stay away.

Cherokee,

That’s fascinating! We all experience things that are unexplainable in a natural sense. I believe in the supernatural.

I believe your dad was allowed to be a messenger. What a blessing to have peace in a time of turmoil.

My nephew has been in the Middle East five times. Thank God he’s retired now. I used to send care packages to his troop. I pray for all the soldiers all the time.

Gershun and hazelthebunny——you both received a precious validation from your loved one, each in their own way....hope that will give you peace in your hearts to know they are there still, watching over you....Liz

Not sure about my mom, she is still living....however, I do very much believe in the spirit world and I will share two of my experiences. When my daughter, who is active duty Army, was deployed to Afghanistan; on Christmas day(the first time in my life I had been totally alone on a holiday) we were FaceTiming and I heard a loud explosion, saw chunks of concrete go flying and dust, and her laptop went sideways, I heard the dreaded” mom I gotta go” I knew they were being mortared....it was scary, but I knew she would be ok because that is the belief I held in my heart.....however, as the day wore on I worked myself into a state of hysteria.....lo and behold, my dad appeared before me, just his face and his weathered hands, and said, “why are you crying and carrying on, you know your baby girl is gonna be ok”, then just as quickly he was gone.....and I knew right then and there, he KNEW she would be alright, so I calmed down.....
And same thing happened during her second deployment in bagram as well....people who do not have military family members who have been in combat situations just don’t understand what a mom, dad, sister, brother, etc go through when their loved one is deployed......so for those who, for whatever reason, dont believe that our family members who loved us who have crossed over aren’t there watching over us, I beg to differ.....think of it this way......our parents, grandparents who watched over us when they were in this physical world, what makes you think they wouldn’t do the same from the other side???? Of course they do......but I also know a person needs to be “open” to experience this.....
growing up we were taught that “spirits” were of the devil, blah blah blah.....I no longer follow the patriarchy of that “ religion”, I found my true path to enlightenment.....so yes, I have had experiences with several family members who have crossed over, and I have ALWAYS needed to hear the message they delivered.....and I get little reminders every now and then, a tiny feather on my pillow, a certain smell, a physical touch on my shoulder or cheek, I know they are there, watching over me......and I am thankful for the experiences I have had....
These are just a couple of my personal experiences that I wanted to share....we have to walk this path called life, we experience love, loss of our beloved spouse and other family and sometimes we wonder how we can keep going.....for me, just knowing I can reach out and feel the person around me, knowing they are watching over me, makes this path a little more pleasant each day, even in times of deepest despair.
I pray for all caregivers each day, only y’all know your struggles...but just know there are others like you who are walking this path right beside you....
blessings to all.....Liz

I have dreams of my dad too. You’re right. It is almost like a visit with them. I used to get sad about dreaming of him because he was gone. Now, I like those dreams.

My mother always said she would come back and haunt us. Not sure why she would want to do that but it was never a nice thought.

My father never said that but comes to me in dreams often and it's always nice to be with him. Before he died he said he believed he would keep coming back till he got things right or fulfilled a necessary message. He died before I could tell him he had a granddaughter on the way.

My daughter (who he didn't know about) has so much of my father's character it's scary. I was estranged from my father for 14 years after he left mum. Fifteen years later and for no reason my 14 year old daughter cut herself off from me (her mum and I split when she was 3).

It feels like I'm being taught a lesson from my father through my daughter and I've endured the pain he must have experienced.

I think you can be haunted by memories just as you can be haunted by mistakes. If you make an effort to change the bad ones your life will be better.

Alva,

Talking about morphing. I believe that too.

Isn’t it odd how memories are triggered? Or even how we can block something out, not meaning too. Memories can play tricks on us.

A long time ago my husband was talking about a restaurant that he ‘claimed’ to have taken me to while dating. I couldn’t for the life of me remember this place. He got upset with me because apparently it was an expensive restaurant.

So I told him that he had me mixed up with a previous girlfriend and he took her there. He was so hurt that I truly did not recall it. He wouldn’t let up. Periodically he would bring it up. Each time I told him it must have been with an old girlfriend before me.

Well, he kept on with, “Don’t you remember this or that?” One day something that he said to me about the restaurant triggered the memory and all of a sudden the entire memory came back! I started recalling the conversation, the atmosphere, the food, everything. Isn’t that odd?

He was so glad that I remembered it. It was right after I met him. I was still dating other guys too. I wasn’t ready to settle down yet. He was only dating me and he wanted to impress me with this fancy restaurant. Too bad I forgot all about it!

I think our Moms can morph into our conscience? My Dad morphs into my hope. A great believer in the fact that most poor folks are just trying to live a good and decent life and take care of their families he taught me that we don't take the long view of history, and we forget how far we have come. Mom still gives the occ. scold. And yeah, while I am alive (am 77) so are they. Very much so. And I understand them more every day.

Granny,

Some people do believe in hauntings. I know someone who says things are moved around in her house.

Who knows? I have not had first hand experiences with deceased relatives but I do know others who claim they are spooked.

I wouldn’t want to find an urn. My friend said a previous owner left a box of tampons in the house and her two year old asked what it was. That was her answer! “Oh, just something the previous owners forgot!” Hahaha, her kid was playing with them taking them in and out of the box.

No such thing as haunting except in a person's mind. If you are being haunted, you are doing it to yourself. As to an urn, you can buy a spot somewhere to have it interred.

Maybe not funny, but a friend of my daughter's found someone's urn under the kitchen sink of a house she had just moved into.

Diva,

How does that work? I know some people keep the urn with ashes at their home but what happens to the ashes when you die? Does it get passed down to another family member or what? What if there are no future family members to pass the ashes to? Just curious how people feel about this.

I’m Catholic. Used to be that Catholics were not allowed to be cremated. Now it is acceptable but the ashes have to be buried just as a body would be.

At least people who place ashes in the ocean or some place in nature don’t have to think about it. That becomes their final resting place.

By the way, some say disposing ashes in public places like a body of water is illegal. Why? People do it all the time. Never heard of anyone being arrested for it.

The cremation jewelry is kind of creepy to me. To wear someone’s ashes in a locket is odd to me but some people think it is very special.

I use to fear the same. My mother passed 8-17-2019 and I have her URN here with me. Odd thing is I have no connection to it or her. Mom and I did not have a normal mother daughter relationship. I believe she is in heaven and that ends there. Glad she is at peace.

No.

She doesn't talk to me now, while she's alive, I doubt she'll make the effort to contact after she dies.

No, never. That's a "Let go and let God" thing for me.

No. In spirit, everything makes sense. Your mother will be able to live thru YOUR eyes, and see what her behavior did to you. That is what I believe it's all about.

No haunting. No anger. No evil. Just understanding and compassion.

My mom used to say to me that she'd visit me in my dreams when she died. I know she was just trying to comfort me but she is in my dreams a fair bit, usually in a background role, kind of like a walk on role in a movie.

But just after she died I had an interesting dream. I was somewhere, (not sure where) and my mom and all these other seniors were at an amusement park, on all the rides having a great time.( Interesting cause mom and I used to go to our local fair and talk about how funny it would be if we went on some of the scarier rides but never did of course.) Anyway, my mom was oblivious to my presence but then a man who was in shadow walked over to my mom and said "talk to her" So my mom led me to a Ferris wheel that wasn't operating and we sat on one of the seats and I was crying really hard and saying I miss you so much. My mom didn't say anything but just held me.

That dream was probably the closest thing to any visitation I ever received from my dear mom.

A little off topic - and not quite "haunting..." but I had a dream about each of my grandfathers at some point, a few years after each of their deaths.

In each dream, they came to visit me (or was i visiting them? It's hard to tell) and i saw them and started to cry, and we held each other and each said "goodbye" and "I love you" and "I miss you."

I hardly dare to believe it as I am not particularly faithful but I always wondered, if any part of a person or their soul lives on after death, whether they really did visit me just to say goodbye. Silly I know. Still, it happened...

I'm with NHWM...Cali. I believe it was your MIL.

It was her, Cali. Communicating through a dream. I think so. I really do. 😊

Ok this made me chuckle too!! No I don’t fear my mom haunting me. In fact, I plan to tell to come back & haunt me after she’s gone-give me little signs that she’s still “here” with me.

My MIL on the other hand, never feared she would haunt me and I don’t think she haunts me know but sometimes when certain things have happened, I think it’s her getting revenge against me for something LOL! Like getting smacked by a cabinet door or when i’m cooking & hot oil splashes out of nowhere! But I also knows she’s looking out for us. I’ve had some real close calls lately, nearly been in some bad accidents. its just that time of year where the ag fields are being harvested and there are big rigs and farm trucks everywhere and the out of state truckers are especially bad and I know she’s the one who kept us safe!

My MIL came to me in a dream last night! It was a strange one and I don’t remember much but we were putting her partner on hospice. And I knew she (MIL) was dead yet she was there with us and we were all sad. And I remember crying & her hugging me and both of us lamenting on the fact that at this time last year she was on hospice. The 1 year anniversary of her death is in 10 days so I think this was her way of comforting me as the day approaches!

Golden,

Yes, acceptance of how things have been has been my biggest downfall. I am realizing more and more that I will not convince anyone of anything if they do not want to have an opinion other than their own. I would get so freakin frustrated thinking that I failed in choosing the correct words to explain why I felt the way I did. Then I finally realized there aren’t any correct words. They refuse to hear any opinions other than theirs. So that helps me to seek peace within myself.

I appreciate your recognition of my struggles and your kind words. I am working on things. Trying to wrap up emotions so I can keep moving forward.

NHWM - if you get away from the source of the problem, what was in the past fades to part of a more comfortable, manageable state of being. As long as the source of the problem is present, it not only triggers the past but creates more current stresses so you are in a stress/hurt/trigger/ more stress/more hurt/more triggers cycle. Other things can trigger the past too, but the most potent triggers are the people who created the stress/hurt in the first place. That is why I had/have to distance myself from mother and sis. If not, the hurts kept coming in the present and they triggered hurts from the past. It was too stressful and it did affect my health. This is what I have seen in you since you came on this forum,

Please know that you and your health are precious. Distancing greatly reduces the stress and allows for some healing which then is ongoing,

You do have to grieve the losses of the past - the loss of your childhood, the loss of safety/security, the loss of normal.healthy family relationships, the loss of self esteem due to the family dysfunction, and more. Grieving is needed to arrive at acceptance. Once I accepted my past, the hurts, and that my family members and dynamics were as they were AND it was NOT my fault, I could love myself, even if they didn't, and focus on me and my needs and start building a better and healthier life. I stopped trying to make it better and dealt with the realities as they were - that my mother and sister were toxic to me and I needed to keep a distance from them. I still took care of mother's affairs, and saw that she got the care she needed. I did the best I could for her and whether or not she or my sister, or anyone else for that matter, liked it was not a great concern for me. I did not have to sacrifice myself on the altar of family dysfunction any more while caring for my mother.

Wishing the same for you. ((((((hugs))))

Joy,

Actually, it depends on who we are talking about. My father, grandparents, and others, absolutely I feel are watching over me, with more love than I could ever imagine. Now, my husband’s grandma, ‘grandma from hell’, that’s another story!

We were asked if we wanted her house after she died and I told my hubby there was no way I could live there. I felt it would have been not only haunted but cursed! It was a beautiful home in uptown New Orleans. Should have taken it and had a priest do an exorcism on it! No one in the family wanted it. Was a house filled with bad memories.

I actually know a priest who does exorcisms. He is an incredible man. I have enormous respect for him. I’ve had many conversations with him. Have known him for years.

Hick,

Sounds like it will be interesting. Did you get any of the sixth sense abilities?

A few times in my life I had intensely strong intuitive feelings. I was spot on. Isn’t something that I have dwelled on. I think we all have that from time to time.

Glad, Yep! Twisted. But they see us as the twisted ones and see themselves as normal. Gag!

golden,

Oh, so true. Do the memories ever fade? I have blocked some memories out from a child, mainly relating to my brother who was a heroin addict.

Odd thing about memories is when you least expect it, out of the blue a memory will come back. My therapist told me something triggers the memory. Used to frighten me when it happened. Startling, because I think subconsciously we don’t ever want some memories to return.

Know what else is weird? Grieving about it. We actually grieve twice, once as the adult that we became, and once for the child that we lost. It’s grieving for what could have been.

Know what else is interesting? Some people wouldn’t change a thing, not even the bad because they see it as a learning tool, in spite of being painful and others are deeply resentful which is an understandable stage in the process as well. So damn hard to figure this emotional crap out, isn’t it? Hugs!

Ginger,

Like your positivity. Can you bottle that up and give it to us when we are feeding negatively is creeping in? Hell, sell it! How much could you charge for such a thing? 🤣 hahaha

Only by the memories stored in my mind...

Shell,

Too funny! Yep, thoughts crop up in our heads!