I wanted to play Devil's Advocate, but not aim it at anyone in particular. Many or most of us have siblings who are not involved in caregiving, and often don't visit or call. This causes a lot of stress for some people. It bothers me occasionally, but not a whole lot that my brothers aren't involved. Maybe it is because we all made our own choices on this.
When my parents became frail, they had the choice of moving into AL, but they didn't do this. They refused to come out to TX to live near me. When they got worse and my life fell apart, I moved here. It worked out well for both of us, since I work from home and they needed someone to help them.
When I moved in and took on progressively more responsibility, it was my choice. My brothers did not make the choice for my parents to stay in their home or for me to move in with them. My parents could have gone to AL.
Sometimes I get very tired and wish I had more help. Sometimes I wonder how children can neglect their parents by not even calling. However, I don't fault them for not being caregivers. Just because I made a choice didn't mean they had to make the same one. And, to tell the truth, if my own life hadn't fallen apart, I would have been one of the absent siblings. So I can't feel too bad about my brothers.