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HI. We've been married since 1981. My wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She functions well with my help. Same questions over and over. Needs detailed help with all the small tasks and fiercely denies her condition. She is sweet and getting more and more innocent in her behavior. She is not the same person, I accept that. I am her care giver. There is no affection other than a peck I initiate. All our friends have basically checked out. Our daily routines give her context. This works for our little world. I'm so lonely, so needing warmth. It feels so far away. Taking care of my own personal needs feels so low, so dire. I'm sure there are so many out there feeling the same. I hope you find a way to make yourself whole.

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Many people are lonely for many reasons. his is not to try to take away your pain but to assure you there are others out there with the same problem who are looking for and, indeed have found some solutions. There are many good suggestions below.

Every caregiver needs to have some "me" time, and time to be "normal", to be around healthy people.

Can you afford some help so that you can take time out regularly? This is important for your own mental and physical health.
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My mother is in a nursing home but I'm usually her sole visitor. I'm sad a lot because she was/is a great mom and grandmother. I try to not get angry that these people she took care so rarely show up. I'm so tired I don't take care of myself. I'm lonely a lot. I'm angry too.
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It sounds like you are looking for an intimate contact of some kind, but that would add guilt to your burden and that's not a good place to start. Look for a Support Group for Alzheimer's caregiving. Call the Alzheimer's Association for referrals to an Alzheimer's Care Givers Support Group either in person in your area on online. You can ssk if there are groups that particularly bring in men who are caringfor their wives. You may hear a lot of loving caregiving stories and also get some understanding and empathy for your situation and lonliness. You have made a good start by addressing this forum. It is especially hard for men to know where to express these feelings, but you are very much not alone in this.
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It's a miserable existence
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Bless you for living and caring for your wife!
Lots of great advice on here. The little breaks will really help you!! 🙏❤️🍀
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Go to YouTube and look for John and Heather's Dementia Journey. Start with the oldest videos. You will see a man in exactly your position as he journals their story. I have found his videos very helpful, insightful, and encouraging.
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"She is sweet and getting more and more innocent in her behavior. "

Count your many blessings.
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You are entitled to a break.

Hire a caregiver to come out several times a week.

Get out of the house and do things on your own then: bowling league, mens group, etc.

My Dad would have me come up for several weeks so he could go off on a cruise and I'd stay with Mom then.
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This is so incredibly wise when it can be afforded. So wise.
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I’m sorry for your pain in this. I hope you’ll let your wife fiercely deny her condition without correcting her, on some level she knows or knew her continuing losses, it’s fine for her to believe all is well, actually a bit of a gift. Please remember you matter too, hire a helper or use adult day care for breaks. This is vital for you both, as your wife needs to learn to accept care from others. She’s blessed to have you and I wish you both peace
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We hire a company that supplies babysitters for a few hours while I "go to work". That gets me out of the house 5 days a week without a big hassle. Then once a year a daughter comes and stays a week or 2 while I take off on a trip to get away from the stress.
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Please find a local caregiver support group where you can share with others that are going through similar things as you. You can Google to see if you have one in your area, as that's how I found mine.
You may also want to have your wife go to your local Adult Daycare Center where she can be there up to 5 days a week and 8 hours a day. They serve breakfast, lunch and a snack and have lots of activities to keep your wife as busy as she wants to be. They will even pick her up and drop her off if need be.
Of course there is a charge(but worth every penny)and if money is an issue they do offer financial help.
By taking your wife there it will allow you to get out and do the things that you enjoy and give you a much needed break.

And as a caregiver survivor, I'm here to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that life does go on after your loved one is gone.
Stay strong and God bless you.
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Admins: Could this be moved to Discussions.
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