They never forget some of their hard-core habits, but can no longer perform some of them adequately, even though they still think they can do just fine; ie technical handicrafts, bill paying, driving. My mom also gets agitated if you wont take her out to buy stuff all the time and go to restaurants because that was her life before. Eating and shopping every day. Spent a lot of money. Had a lot of money, used lots of charge cards. She no longer has these. We try to take her out twice a week, but still she gets very upset and disappointed if you won't do certain things to the degree she is used to. I have gotten her over this hump a little bit. She can't remember or learn much anymore other than her habits and also talks constantly about her mom and dad, etc.
The hardcore habits and personality weaknesses become exacerbated and more twisted up when you get old. Drives us nuts sometimes, but I care for her in my home because I think nursing homes charge a lot, CEO's earn a ton, pay the help poorly, etc. and often deliver poor service in skilled nursing section due to lack of good supervision and adequate supplies and help. I was a CNA and worked the nursing homes, so I know.

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It is so hard to watch this strange behavior with my parents. My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia, but will try to pay bills and keep up with her Medical bills. If I try to intervene, she gets very angry and says she is perfectly able to take care of this. After watching her for an hour trying to write a check, put the check into a envelop and looking at it 50 times, I want to cry. My mom was a financial person, so to see this day after day, make my very sad.

My dad managed their finances and is also very political. He gets all kinds of solicitations from politicians and is very excited when I get home to tell me all of the important people that have contacted him and the money that he is going to send them. I haven't had him evaluated but am very concerned about his behavior. One of his financial advisors called me after he left rehab to see if it was okay to contact him, I thought it was just to check in with him. When I got home, he had bought a number of "good" investments. That would have been fine 5 years ago, it is not fine now. I don't know if I should try to get guardianship, because like your situation, both of my parents feel like they are in total control and get very upset when I suggest I should take over.

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