Mom was diagnosed with Cognative Impairment Dementia and stabilized with medication approximately 4 years ago. During the first year after her treatment and 24/7 care need had taken affect she I found out was pretty sharp didn't miss a trick manipulated me.somehow, because I was unaware of her ability to focus on "her mission of importance". Almost like a 2 year old, unaware of danger, nonpunishable, wanting to do things I wouldn't let her regardless of consequences. So she would focus on how to get what she wanted at any risk and hide evidence. She has been at a NH for 3 years now adjusted quite well. For the most part she's confused but seems happy. Lately I noticed a new memory/short term with clearly a consistency but not repetition by habit only. I'll explain... she does not need winter coats and she had a million all types colors etc. they happen to fit me perfectly so I naturally wear them. Her thing was always clothes, well dressed lady. So when she see's me she always recognizes me but it's always a guessing game on my end of which relative she thinks I am as I greet her. So I feel it out and play the part, I'm getting really good at acting.
BUT she without fail says that's my coat! The first couple times it was the same coat so I just thought she took a lucky guess. She said "but you can wear it today.'" The next time she said it "she added I said you could wear it once not keep it." The third time "Your wearing my coat again...I told you I want it back" So I then went there with a leather jacket not thinking about any of this...Mom say's "You got a new coat, it's nice I like it" I said "yes " Shocked that she said that and remembered again...I'm thinking... oh yeah , the coat thing... luckily she doesn't know it's hers.. few!!! 2 seconds after my thought she says "Hey that's mine too!" Thinking quickly I said no you have almost the same one. I got this just yesterday for Christmas. She bought the lie, she always knows when I am lying I distracted her with ice cream..
So I am really wondering if anyone else has seen a noticeable change in clarity such as this, after long term treatment and stable surroundings have been consistent, She know knows I am the ice cream lady.
I was mostly laughing because once again I forgot about the coat issue, I was wearing it again, but she remembered." Then I remembered this post and thought I can't wait to share this story here.
llcrss I was very confused about the work details of the staff at the NH. Who does what and who to talk to about the problems or situations that affect my Mom. The people who know your Mom the best are the aides. The aids have to get them dressed, showered, make sure they eat, the daily battles that they need assistance with. I feel the aids should get paid the most because if not for them my Mom would be unkempt and dirty and have no guidance. The LPN's give out medication and write down behavioral changes. What the LPN's writes is important because the Dr.'s look at what they write and base their medication according to this info. Then there is the Activities Professionals that see the behavior at fun times and how they respond to stimulating activities. So someone needs to collaborate all this info. If you tell the LPN that your Mom is not dressing that is not the job of the LPN but it is the LPN's job to take notes of this so the Dr's know. I made it known when my Mom first went into the NH that I am not about to tell anyone how to do their job but I want to help them help my Mom. I'm not going to complain unless there is something to complain about. BUT... I will complain if I am not heard and Mom is mistreated or neglected. I don't know their job but I do know my Mom and I can help them. You should read the patients rights and admittance documents. There is also a RN Nurse in charge of communicating your concerns between the Dr's and LPN's. You can set up meetings with the social worker to have all the parties together at once.
And after a month of being here she started to notice the buffet and diningroom table that she gave me years ago. Then says...how did you get this? it's mine! I just went along with it and said yes it's yours and all your things are here because you live here. Its always better to play the game with her than to argue and get frustrated.
You will have to tell me about your experiment with your Mom. Did she recognize her coat? I like the idea that her personality is not lost just altered. She is still your Mom. :0)
It is nice that she thinks you are the ice cream lady! :0)