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I was called by my mom's facility that she refused to take a shower. She told them that it was too early to take a shower. I tried to have her come and talk to me on the phone but she refused. Didn't bother me as much this time. The caregiver said that she will continue to ask her to take a shower. I'll stop by there tomorrow to see if she took a shower. I will be able to tell by her smell. She is 89 and I think that she is just being stubborn tonight. She was fine with me earlier this afternoon. Although she was sleeping when I got there. She went to bed late last night.


I am putting into my mind that it might not be that much longer for her. At least she knows who I am still. She was diagnosed last June with mild dementia.


People that age can be stubborn,right? I was told that even a shower once a week would be fine. BUT with her incontinence, she needs to be washed up. I trust the people who are there to continue to do a good job with her. She was okay at first. Maybe I should have had her go to the bathroom before I left and change her brief. But didn't. Will have to remember the next time.


She is okay during the day,from what I was told.

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She is in a facility where they have large shower in her room. She can't do a bathtub. I did find out that she does have sundowners. I asked her if she would like to take a shower in the morning or evening, and she said the morning. So I told one of the caregivers that work there and told them to see if she could have it changed. She only is scheduled to take a shower 2 times a week. Wednesdays and Saturdays. They have 20 people where she is living and I know that they have to organize when everyone is taking a shower. I feel that she can take a shower by herself but I'm not there with her all of the time.
Who knows, she might change her mind again. It all depends.
My only issues is that she doesn't wipe herself when she urinates. She wears Depends, ie. But she can wipe herself when she poops. Can't figure that one out.
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Taking shower a few times a week is fine. Many with dementia are fearful of the shower and the water may actually hurt when it hits her. Have they tried the bath instead? They must have walk in tubs. Is the heat up high enough? It can be down right frigid getting out of a warm shower or tub.

People with dementia may become resistant to bathing. Such behavior often occurs because the person doesn't remember what bathing is for or doesn't have the patience to endure lack of modesty, being cold or other discomforts. Loss of independence and privacy can be very difficult for the person with dementia.

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/bathing#behaviors
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Judy79, when it comes to showering or bathing, as we age it can feel like we went to the gym for a workout.

I am only in my 70's, and after bathing, blowing drying my hair, etc. I feel exhausted. Never had that problem 10 years prior. Thus, at 89, I can just imagine how exhausting it could be for your Mom.

Plus some people when they age get claustrophobic in the shower. I had to stop showering because of that, and now do tub bathes... get getting into and out of the tub is no easy task :P

There are times I wish I could set up the water sprinkler in the back yard on warm water, and run thru it a few times. Guess the Homeowner's Association would probably frown on that.

Now a days companies make a large variety of baby wipes that work just as well for adults. The one I like is "Water Wipes". Use that between baths. For my face, I like the wet toss-away cloths made by "Burt's Bees".
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