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I want to reflect on something in my caregiving journey. I am acknowledging that I am having signs of caregiver stress. I don't think anyone wants to admit to not being able to handle every aspect of taking care of their loved one but by posting this I am saying to myself and all other caregivers in this situation that it is okay to not be "the perfect caregiver." Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind because my gram switches from severe memory loss to being very lucid and completely here. When she is lucid she can't understand why she isn't living at her house anymore and why I have to take her to the bathroom etc.. and it makes the caregiving extremely difficult. It is like her mind tells her she is good to go but her body is not on board anymore. It is sad and frustrating to deal with these episodes which have been on and off for over a year now. I want her to be happy or at least somewhat happy but she seems miserable no matter what I do. I miss just being her granddaughter which basically I traded at the door when I became her full time caregiver. Thanks for letting me vent.

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. If I could rewind the clock I don't know if I would have taken this on. I will surely come back and use this site for support. I wish I would have came across it much sooner.
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Truthfully, I'm not sure how "happy" we can expect our loved ones with dementia to be. It has to be a wild ride for them, especially those times when they're lucid enough to realize they have dementia. It is so hard for US, how must it be for them? Let go of the notion that its your job to make gram happy......just keep her safe and be there for her with understanding and acceptance. I think you're doing a fantastic job and recognizing the stress you're under allows you to manage it more effectively. Be sure to take time for yourself and indulge in relaxing things like massages and aromatherapy or exercise classes. Come here often to vent....we all get it. My mother has dementia and lives in memory care. It blows my mind how she swings from one extreme to the other, like you said, and how her moods change so drastically. I know I could never care for her in my home, so I admire your commitment to your dear gram.
All the best
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That is the truth! Thanks for the hugs! I am working on providing ample time for myself to regroup and focus on staying healthy mind body and soul. Some days it feels like I do a great job and others not so much.
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Hugs!!

It is a brutal journey that the only certainty is that there is no certainty.

Remember to take time for you during this journey.
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Thanks, the different emotions of being a caretaker are mentally draining. It almost sucks the life out of you at times.
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Vent away, being a caretaker is such a difficult job. I know that I could not do it again, although I had help, mentally I could not handle it.
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