By clicking
Talk to a Specialist, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Your mom sounds like such a strong woman and a fighter. The two of you clearly loved each other very much.
Sometimes we do it one breath at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time. For me, the pain is much less now, though it has not gone away altogether. The missing stays, but is not as painful. Right now, for you, the pain and missing is tremendous.
Dear soul, you have lost two beloved people very close together. That makes the burden of grief much harder. Be kind to yourself. The things you have to do can mostly wait.
After all you have and are going through, you are not the same person. Take this time to find out who you are now, Losses change people. Some things become much more important, and some much less. Above all, be gentle with you - nurture yourself as you did your mum and your uncle, buy yourself some of those little presents in memory of them, care for yourself in the same way, You will get through this, though for now life is very painful, I know. When we lose someone close, we have a hole in our hearts that nothing can fill - but we learn to live with it. Love and hugs Come back and let us know how you are,
I don't know if this will help or not, but when I'm lost and confused, I think of my grandfather. He's been dead a long (looong) time, but I can still feel his love for me, and his hopes and dreams for me. I think of him when I am lost and in pain, and I lean on his hopes and dreams for me when I can't remember my own. It probably sounds so strange, but it's like he is still with me and I feel a great deal of peace and love. I'll do for him what I don't have the strength or courage to do for myself.
I don't know if I would go as far as to say we are all here for a purpose. But I would say that we can find our own purpose. Each of us have certain talents to contribute. For some it is caregiving. For others it is something completely different. If you feel like your talent is caring for others, then it is what you should do. There are a lot of people who need people to care for them.
But for yourself right now, a grief counselor to help you work through the loss of your father, your mother, and your uncle may certainly help. I have a feeling you still have many years here on earth. It would be great if you could enjoy them and have others enjoy that you are here for them.
try to feel a degree of relief for your mother.
Your Mother's death has affected you to the core. Right now it seems like the pain will never go away. That could be true, but it will get better with time. You'll learn to feel your mother's presence in other ways - her spiritual presence. You and she will always be a team.
It sounds as if seeing a professional counselor is a must. If you are not ready to call 9-1-1 because of an emergency, please pick up the phone and call your church or a counseling center. Tell them you have thought (or are thinking) of suicide. They will get you help. If your community has a mental health hotline, call that. Many communities have help at hand when you dial 2-1-1. They can connect you with help.
Life will go on and get better but you have to take that first step. If you have a close friend, call him or her to help you make these other calls. If not, perhaps a friend of your mother's or else, as I mention, your spiritual leader. You mentioned in your original post that you knew your mother was with God, so this is the time for faith. Give your pain over to God and do the practical things needed. Call for help. We're all thinking of you here at Agingcare.
Blessings,
Carol
Is there someone you can talk to and share your grief with? A pastor, a counselor, a best friend ... someone who can acknowledge what you are going through, and be there for you?
Hugs to you. Please come back frequently and let us know how you are doing.