We made it, and I am cherishing all of our time. Today was the day I was dreading after doctors said she may only live 20 days after feeding tube removal. I'm glad we had a cupcake on Sunday for my birthday because today she didn't really seem to comprehend much, when my daughter reminded her it was my birthday she said "Angie's birthday" then i told her the story she always told me, how she had to leave the dance early (high school dance, I think her young age added an extra layer of closeness to our relationship) because she went into labor with me 3.5 months early, the hospital was across the street and she could still hear the band playing.
I find myself feeling guilty that I am at peace with her going to be with daddy so soon, I'm glad he doesn't have to be alone when she goes. I don't want my mom gone but I struggle that the fact that I am okay....most of the time.