They say it is darkest before the dawn....so it must get better, right?

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Things are so bad right now, I don't know if I can get through this....tooo many details to explain but it is so very hard right now.

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Thank you dear lady (twopupsmon). I appreciate your encouragement.
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oh you sound much better, I'm smiling for you! If only I lived on the west coast I would certainly try to help you any way I could, just ignore some of the statements made, you are not stupid, if it takes a drink or two at the end of one of your days then so be it! I'm familiar with the freeways you mentioned, quite a nightmare! I also agree with you on what you would do knowing you had a fatal disease, hey they shoot horses don't they, I believe in the back of every caretakers mind, sometime, they have thought there must be a way, please God take him before it gets any worse, especially in the case of spouses. Take care you are handling this the best you can, and i for one am pulling for you.
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Ok, gotta get ready for, yet, another day of fun fun fun
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By the way....when I, or my 2 caretakers are there, we always manage to care for him without him freaking out because we move at him slow, do not jerk him around, and are very patient with him. The hospitals are understaffed, under trained, and have become apathetic toward the patients that give them problems
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Two pups mom. I have decided am going to keep him at his current convalescent just to keep from moving him too many times and hope to get him a wonderful board and care (with a caretaker if necessary). If that doesn't work, I am going to try to take him to a local dementia care unit at one of three assisted care facilities near me, then I will take him to UCLA if that does't work (that would be my worst case scenario because o the horrible drive on the infamous 405 freeway with can take and hour or hour and a half with traffic . No, I take that back, the worst case scenario would be to bring him home. Las time I did that I had to call 911, and the care taker company would not come back....sissies lol
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Ohdear. Even with my drinking, I manage to be at my husband's side every single day with includes a half hour drive in horrible traffic on L A Freeways. That last two days I picked him up, drove back to our town for doctor appointments , and took him back to the hospital and then home again in worse rush hour traffic. I have a very good caretaker with him from 8-12, I am there from 12-4,5, or 6, and another good caregiver from 4-8. I monitor his meds, make sure they use his special soap on his poor dry skin, and have either me or a care taker go with him when they give him a shower. I am his advocate which a dementia patients needs because they can not tell you if they are mistreated. I have a broker looking for the best place for him close to home (currently hoping to get into one that I liked far and above the others). The doctor running this 6 patient board and care is opening another in the next couple of months. There isn't a day that goes by that someone tells me how wonderful I am with my husband and they hope they have someone like me if they get sick. You are right about one thing...if I don't take of myself, something could happen to me (stroke, heart attack etc) and then he would really be in trouble. My husband would be appalled at how I am neglecting myself if he were aware. A doctor told me that John's is a very unusual situation having Lewy Body and being so healthy after years of doing and training for triathlons, 3 Ironman competitions, and going to the gym most days for 2 -3 hours. This creates a very strong dementia patient. I have already decided to STOP drinking at night, last night being the first. Now, I am not sure how old you are but if there is any way you can get or afford a long term care insurance policy, JUST DO IT....This is the one thing that can keep you from going bankrupt if you ever have a serious illness, especially dementia. I am paying thousands of dollars right now, just to get through the 90 day elimination period, but then it will kick in and save us. Sure if you can afford it, and assisted care facility would be a great place. They cook your food, clean your clothes, clean your room, take you to the doctor etc. I don't know if you have looked into it, but they are very very expensive. Personally, if I was ever diagnosed with a serious, fatal disease, I would do myself in a heartbeat, before I put my family through this. Sorry, didn't mean to write a book.
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Photo, Shaking has it right, take him to the UCLA ER, they will get around that waiting list and get him to the Psych area, if they try to tell you they cannot keep him, stand your ground. Face the fact that no hospital wants healthy dementia patients, all the new ads on tv promote " take care of your loved one at home" easy to say until you have lived it. So go there and make them listen, if you don't take him out of the ER they have to keep him, isn't that what we all pay insurance for, this is an epidemic, they have to start responding to the caretakers, this will be your only way. Please take care of you also
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I do believe many of you have hung in there way too long out of guilt and obligation. Step back and try to be more objective. Would you continue to allow a depressed emotionally distraught person who has developed a drinking problem and / or is taking tranquilizers to cope with their unbearable life to come in your home on a daily basis and take care of your loved one ? If any of this describes you , than my opinion is that your loved one needs other placement ;if you in addition to yourself do not have a team of people ,who are willing to be organized to help you out.
These posts has helped me make some descions for my upcoming advanced senior years. I am going to start looking, and choose a continueing care community. When I find myself at a point where it has become difficult for me or just plain not smart to remain in my home than I will check in. I will have peace of mind, activities to do as long as I can do them. If I have sick days can be transferred to the part of the facility where medical care is given and my direct care will be done. Once better can return to my apt. It is peace of mind knowing that whatever my health status is their will be an area in the same facility that can take care of me. I do not want to rob any well meaning loved one of their life, peace of mind and liberty. This would not work out well for either party. Also if some of your loved one's mind was not so clouded by dementia etc.they might tell you the same. Have you ever thought about what your love one would want for you or themselves seeing the state of affairs with your life and theirs at this point ?
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Thanks guys; I appreciate your shoulders. I am just trying to take it a day at a time and working with my broker who is working hard to find the right place for him. Bad days and not so bad days lol
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Photoartc, warm hugs to you. I have no suggestions. Just empathy and well wishes for you.
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