I don't know whether to scream or laugh at the latest development. Every day is a new battle with this grump.

After touring EVERY facility in my city, Dad AGREED to an independent living place. We picked out a wall color and put down a deposit. This morning he demands for me to take him back to his house (which should be condemned).

He said he thought about it and he can't "afford" to pay the $900 per month it would cost for him to live there after all of his VA benefits kick in. Mind you, this man has LOTS of money. The government takes care of him VERY well.

So, as I (again) discussed the alternatives ... paying for 24 hour care and day care vs. living at the facility he states that he can live with my sister (who pushed him off on me)

Sidenote: We agreed that once we got Dad settled in my city, my sister would move into his paid for house and renovate it... I'm not sure where he got the idea that she would WELCOME him moving in with her (nor did he ask),..

When I shot down that idea he says: I can just remarry (this would be wife #8)!!! OK... who would marry a blind, non breathing, miserable toothless old grump with incontinence issues? AN OPPORTUNIST!!!!

Then he says... I can buy a bride....

Am I going to have to go through this everyday?

PS If I hear him brag any more about the "friend" that was taking money from him I am going to scream!

I guess what I've done for him (give up my ENTIRE lifestyle for the past three weeks) doesn't matter.

I'm so angry...

I'm tempted to say go back home to the house that's falling to the ground with the friend that's stealing from you that will continue to chain smoke around you and drive you around while he's intoxicated... fall down the stairs... ingest the second hand smoke and last less than six months.....


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well it depends, not all so to say mail-ordered brides are opprtunistic vile creatures. i myself have long been on one of those sites because i was kind of desperate to meet a man. now since i met one, i''m feeling much better. sothe thing is there are plenty of women in need of love of tenderness, even those who simply don't have a mn to care for. it's normal. maybe it could be a solution for your dad. or you could hire a medical worker, but i guess, what he needs is someone closer, someone who wouldn't care for him just for a salary

Mail order brides are still readily available. The US imports mainly from Columbia and there are laws that regulate the trade.

...sighing...a little...

Well, the house is salvageable, but it WILL cost. My sister says her fiance is pretty handy (but with two girls in college...I'm not sure HOW she is going to afford it).

We are trying to honor his wishes of keeping the home in the family (though I NEVER wanted it). He always seems so proud that the dilapidated monstrosity is "PAID IN FULL"

Anywho... we will confirm his state of cognition next week. When I rushed him to the ER for pneumonia, the attending physician made the recommendation for a mental evaluation, and he stated that since he is a disabled vet, there could be additional financial resources available for him if we actually DIAGNOSE his dimentia.

So... is the grouch an unfortunate side effect of dimentia (he repeats himself a lot... asks when my deceased baby brother is coming home off the ship... calls me my mother's name... and forgets ENTIRE chunks of time... i.e. the first visit to the IL facility)...

Once again... putting my foot down on the mental eval (he has ignored the recommendations in the past)... we will see.

It's sad... and kinda funny at the same time... BUY A BRIDE!!!! HILARIOUS!!!!

Well my aunt fixed up her brother's house with HIS money ( and now they own it after his death) They told him that it was in danger of being condemned, which was true.
Your father agreed to move into the facility so I would just let him vent. My uncle kept packing his bags to go back to his run down home, but his sister would not allow it.
Your Dad is not the first guy I have heard say he was getting a bride in a facility, but the first to have 8 wives - maybe it WAS early dementia!
( He'll entertain the staff, at least)

I'm sorry, Tinyblu, but I'm smiling. Buy a bride. Elders say the darnedest things. I get the feeling that you have him in a good place and he just needs some time to adjust. Maybe there will be a bride in the IL community that he can buy. :D It sounds to me like maybe you need to tell your dad your sister is on a trip for a long time and his house has been condemned, so no one can live there. Do you think some kind fibs might make him give up the idea of leaving his new place?

Sit your dad down and go over his finances with him. Show him on paper that he can afford it. I know, easier said than done. My mom thinks she's going to the poor house when that's far from reality.

Do you have POA? Does your father have dementia? I ask because it sounds as if he has some pretty big delusions. Of course, if he's been married seven times already, who knows?

If the house is falling to the ground, is it worth renovating? Wouldn't that be terribly expensive? Is your sister going to do the work herself? I watch HGTV and think "I can do that", but I know I couldn't really.

Sorry about your trials with your father, but you have to admit that life with him isn't dull.

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