My mom and dad were in the same memory care facility, but dad just passed and my mom some what understands. We were all together as a family with my dad when he passed. Now my mom wants to come home and I get sad every time she says that. Will that stop? It just breaks my heart.

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When my dad died, my brother tried to fill in more. My sister and I took my mom on trips. She became afraid to be by herself though my dad had been sick for a long time and she had made all the decisions for him and anyone else within her orbit that would allow it. She continued to garden and to cook, etc. but her armor was cracked. It was a shock to me to realize that my mom could even be vulnerable. They had been together for over 70 years. It must feel like a limb is missing. A familiar presence that represents safety and love and contentment. When you leave the love leaves too and so she wants to go with you. I'm sure she feels closer to him when she is near you. You probably feel closer to him when you are with her. So, it is a sad time. One of the saddest in life for you both. It will take time and acceptance. We know death comes. We see it. We read about it. We hear about it. Sometimes we think it can't come soon enough. We really don't know death until it comes as close as a parent or a spouse or a child. It's a very personal experience. You can't take the pain away for your mom, dementia or not. It's one of the more costly prices we pay for life and love.

Dad just passed. Of course mom is lonely. She wants the constant company that she had not so long ago. She is grieving, a very slow process for elderly when they have lost their life partner. She is going to need some TLC. There must be some activities that she can get involved with in the facility. Staff can help with that.

She may feel she has lost her only friend. Has she ever made friends where she is? That will help if she will become interested in meeting people. You are going to have to be patient and loving with her.

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