My husband, 18 & 21 year old just resent him now. We are all so stressed out because he is able to help but chooses not to. He still drives, refuses to bathe more than once a week and is basically driving us all nuts. He does not do one thing in the house, won't get the mail or empty the dishwasher. He never helped my mom and we jumped into this because of grief and my mom asking us to take care of him. He is 84. I have one brother who does not help. I always have to ask him to take him for lunch or an overnight. I feel used, exhausted from listening to everyone complain and helpless. My father begs us not to put him in a nursing home and says " I have no where to go" so then we feel guilty. I do not see a way out of this. It is eating me alive. Everyone else has it a lot worse I know but he is capable and is just choosing to be an invalid. He watches the news and reads ALL day long. I am at the point that just looking at him makes me mad. Thanks for letting me get this all out.