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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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He will be happier where he is because he does have friends. Moving where sister is he may have no social outlet. If she works, he will be alone all day. Like said, if not broken, leave it alone.
Do your best to dissuade your sister. I don't think it's a good idea to persuade your dad to move away from somewhere that he is happy.
Falls are scary, but they're inevitable. Your sister won't be able to stop your dad from falling. Just look at all the other comments here from people whose parents live with them and they worry constantly about their frequent falls.
It's likely that moving your dad will create new problems, and his life will have been disrupted for nothing. At least, nothing good.
Is dad cognizant? If so he can decide where he wants to live. If dad is NOT cognizant then whoever is POA makes the decision as to where dad is to reside based on: 1. getting the care he needs on a daily basis 2. his safety If dad is not cognizant and has no POA and you think that a move like this would place him in danger you could petition to become his Guardian and then the decision would be yours as to where dad can safely live.
Is your sister FULLY aware of all your dad's needs and what it takes to care for him? Is her house such that she can safely care for him. And he is safe in her house? Is dad able to pay her for his care? Not just his care but for his fair share of ALL household expenses. If she takes a vacation where will dad go? If she is sick or injured who will care for dad? Can he afford caregivers in addition to paying your sister for his care? (I think if you break it down the cost of 24/7 care, food, housing in an AL facility it is less than paying for the same 24/7 care at home)
Now, when you say the ER is 2 hours away do you mean a level I Trauma center or a level V Trauma center is 2 hours away? Or a trauma center that is a level II, III or IV? While anything is possible is there a possibility that dad would need a level I trauma center? If so and it is that far away most likely a helicopter would be dispatched to get him to the level I or II if that is necessary.
Important to know if Dad has dementia and can or cannot make his own choice in this matter. Important to know what the plans are if Sister finds she cannot do this care, despite what her beliefs are now in this regard.
Falls are common to elders and more for some than for others. Our lower brain area responsible for balance deteriorates earlier than many other parts of the brain and we cannot easily recover ourselves when we trip or stumble. Falls are so common that, unless something is broken or there's an injury to head or face, many facilities just notify family and do not take person to ER at all.
Also, given a certain age, and whether someone is code status positive, the importance of IMMEDIATE medical care takes on less importance. Much of this is about personal choice and advance directives.
Only you know your Dad. Only you and family know family and their ability to do intensive care that is CERTAIN to be needed more and more; the trajectory is downward without fail. And then you come to "who is POA" if Dad can't make his own choices. Because no matter what "anyone wants", that is the person who makes the decision when the elder cannot.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Falls can happen anywhere at any time. He should stay where he is.
Falls are scary, but they're inevitable. Your sister won't be able to stop your dad from falling. Just look at all the other comments here from people whose parents live with them and they worry constantly about their frequent falls.
It's likely that moving your dad will create new problems, and his life will have been disrupted for nothing. At least, nothing good.
I wish you and your family the best.
If dad is NOT cognizant then whoever is POA makes the decision as to where dad is to reside based on:
1. getting the care he needs on a daily basis
2. his safety
If dad is not cognizant and has no POA and you think that a move like this would place him in danger you could petition to become his Guardian and then the decision would be yours as to where dad can safely live.
Is your sister FULLY aware of all your dad's needs and what it takes to care for him?
Is her house such that she can safely care for him. And he is safe in her house?
Is dad able to pay her for his care? Not just his care but for his fair share of ALL household expenses. If she takes a vacation where will dad go? If she is sick or injured who will care for dad? Can he afford caregivers in addition to paying your sister for his care? (I think if you break it down the cost of 24/7 care, food, housing in an AL facility it is less than paying for the same 24/7 care at home)
Now, when you say the ER is 2 hours away do you mean a level I Trauma center or a level V Trauma center is 2 hours away? Or a trauma center that is a level II, III or IV? While anything is possible is there a possibility that dad would need a level I trauma center? If so and it is that far away most likely a helicopter would be dispatched to get him to the level I or II if that is necessary.
Falls are common to elders and more for some than for others. Our lower brain area responsible for balance deteriorates earlier than many other parts of the brain and we cannot easily recover ourselves when we trip or stumble. Falls are so common that, unless something is broken or there's an injury to head or face, many facilities just notify family and do not take person to ER at all.
Also, given a certain age, and whether someone is code status positive, the importance of IMMEDIATE medical care takes on less importance. Much of this is about personal choice and advance directives.
Only you know your Dad.
Only you and family know family and their ability to do intensive care that is CERTAIN to be needed more and more; the trajectory is downward without fail.
And then you come to "who is POA" if Dad can't make his own choices.
Because no matter what "anyone wants", that is the person who makes the decision when the elder cannot.