He is slowing down rather fast now. He looks depressed can barely walk, he uses a cane but we can tell its getting more difficult. I have no help with siblings, so its all me or nothing. I am afraid I cant help him with his walking, especially down the sidewalk to the car, I have been lucky so far I guess.He never takes a shower, and is starting to have a certain odor about him. I think its time to get some help from social services. Maybe get a caregiver to come in to help him with personal hygiene, and help me get him to the car for doctor appts. My mom doesnt want people in her house, yet she is constantly complaining about what is happening to him. She is 81 and has her own issues with hearing loss, and walking herself. Should I go over her head and just call social services to help me anyway??

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Thank you for answering so quickly. My dad sees his regular doctor. What type of doctor should I go to who specializes in dementia? A Geriatric Dr. I assume? He is not on medicaid, he has medicare and AARP supplement insurance. I believe they would qualify for some help. I think I am going to make that call tomorrow, thanks again!

Yes. Go over Mother's head on this. Call Social Services for a needs assessment. Explain Mother's resistance and that you want to know what services your Dad might be eligible for. Be there during the interview, to help present a realistic picture of abilities and limitations.

If Dad qualifies to have a Shower Helper, for example, then you'll have to deal with getting Mom to accept that "stranger" into her home. But, one step at a time ... first see what he might be eligible for.

My husband (Lewy Body Dementia) can 'furniture walk" around the house, but for getting him down the sidewalk and to the car I find a wheelchair is better. In fact, using the wheelchair in the house works great when he is just too tired to get to the bedroom on his own.

Does Dad see a specialist for his dementia? Has he seen this doctor recently? Perhaps he should be devaluated for depression. The right medication can be a blessing.

Is Dad currently on Medicaid? Do you think he'd qualify? Whether they need to use their own funds or they qualify for financial help, it is time to bring in some in-home-care.

Do what you have to do.

Best wishes to you!

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