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As many of you know, I made the decision to put my mom on hospice care a couple of weeks ago. She's now out of the hospital and back in her memory care, and hanging on in her new, diminished state.


I don't think she's going to die within the next few days or even weeks, but the hospice folks wanted me to have a mortuary chosen for when the time comes, as they'll make the call to them.


Imagine my horror when I called a local family-owned mortuary here in Orange County (Southern California) and was told, "I'm sorry, we can't take anymore families as clients right now -- we're at capacity!"


This morning I heard on the radio that people in Los Angeles County (next county over) are being told that if someone dies at home or in a nursing home, "Get ice until someone can get there."


Good Lord.


Mama needs to hang on a little longer -- I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be dealing with something like this. I may be on the phone the day my mother dies trying to find anyone who can take her for cremation. What an indignant ending.


Covid-19 has truly turned the world upside down...

Dear "MJ1929,"

This is an awful turn of events as well as heartbreaking for you after finally placing your mom under hospice care.

I pray your mom can hang on for at least awhile longer until things get a little more under control. As I've said to many people there were three times I thought my mom would die. One being in April when she was actually hospitalized for severe dehydration/UTI and COVID, another being Mother's Day while in rehab and another mid-summer. That was all to the point that I had the mortuary send my the paperwork to fill out and I called the cemetery where her plot is with my dad when he died in 2004.

It's now 8 - 9 months later and she is doing quite well. They are going to be doing both physical and occupational therapy yet again, starting next week. When they assessed her, she was able to take a few steps. I would never have thought things would get to this point especially no longer needing hospice services.

I'm still praying for you, your mom and the situation at hand.
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I have the hospice and nursing home folks on alert, and when Mom passes, everyone's going to hit the phones to find a place to take her. I've also asked that Mom's name and my contact info be written on her arm with a Sharpie to avoid having her body getting lost. It's unbelievable.

I get through things like this pretty well until the crisis is well and truly past. I didn't cry about my dad until six months after he died, because there was so much still to do. That's what I dread -- the time when everything that keeps me focused is past.

I also try to keep my husband's grandfather in mind. He died in the early 1950s (before husband was born), and there was a cemetery workers strike at the time. My mother-in-law's family had to wait months to bury him, and somehow they got through that, so I can get through this, too.
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It's certainly life, but not as we knew it before.

I suppose in some way, better to find out the facts now? Be prepared? So very hard. I suppose all you can do is make peace with the things that are out of your control. I find myself saying Da*n that Covid most days.

Your resilience shines though your writing. Stay strong.
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I am so sorry. This is so sad. You know how horrifying this situation is. Others surely know it too.

I don’t mean to be a ‘Debbie Downer’ but this situation is going to hang on for awhile.

I would relay the situation to Hospice. See if they have any alternative suggestions.

Wishing you peace during this stressful situation.
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