Count Your Blessings and Lucky Stars!

I just found this article....

Navajo and other traditional cultures understand that there's nothing more soulful than supporting people at the margins of life, those who can't walk fast or talk sense or remember how to use a toilet. They also know that this takes a village.

It really does.

Most eldercare providers in our village-less society end up jury-rigging systems of helpers. The common refrain I heard from people in the trenches? Take notes. Write down every bit of advice you get, from every person who interacts with your family member: doctors, pharmacists, neighbors, hairstylists. Write down these people's contact information. For good or evil, they're your village. Oprah: Do you have a hard time asking for help?

Jennifer has 45 people on her call list should her elderly parents encounter a crisis. Polly rallied support from her parents' church congregation. Not everyone in the village will help care for an elderly person, but a long list gives you multiple possibilities for support.

"No one can tell you what to expect," Anne said to me. "You have to live like a firefighter, ready to call other firefighters to solve whatever problem arises."

Psychological coping strategies

Once you've adopted this firefighting mentality about your parent's needs, you'll need a whole new set of strategies like the ones below to deal with the emotional wreckage that piles up along the way.

Surrender to the emotional grinder.

"The thing that galls me most about caring for my mother," one woman told me, "is that she's the only one who gets a morphine drip."

The emotional pain suffered by caregivers is intense -- and unlike the elderly, caregivers are expected to live through it. With every new issue your elderly relative develops, you'll head into the emotional grinder called the grief process: bargaining, anger, sadness, acceptance, repeat.

Grieving, like physical caretaking, differs from case to case. If you had a troubled relationship with an aging parent, expect to spend lots of time in the anger stage. Use this time to clean your emotional closet. Explore the anger with a therapist. Journal it. Process it with friends. Clean the wounds. Oprah: 4 healthy ways to grieve

On the other hand, if your declining parent was your main source of emotional support, you'll find yourself spending lots of time in sadness. You'll feel as though it's killing you. It won't.

As Naomi Shihab Nye wrote, "Before you know kindness / as the deepest thing inside, / you must know sorrow / as the other deepest thing.... / Then it is only kindness / that makes sense anymore...."

As the grieving process scrapes along, you'll learn to offer kindness to everyone: your aging relative, the people of your village, yourself. When you snap under stress and begin to rail at Nana, God, yourself, and the cat, you'll learn to be kind to yourself anyway. At that point, you'll find relief and an unexpected gift: laughter.

Nourish a sick sense of humor.

A morbid sense of humor isn't listed in any official guides to eldercare, but to the caregivers I interviewed, it is like oxygen.

Take, for example, Meg Federico's memoir "Welcome to the Departure Lounge." Federico's wry portrayal of her mother's senescence is both sad and hilarious. Without belittling her mother or her stepfather, Walter, both of whom suffered dementia, Federico recounts conversations like this one:

"I can't seem to find my keys," Walter told Mom. "Say, do you have them?"

"Oh, don't worry about keys, dearest. We don't need them. We can jump out the window and fly home."

"What?" said Walter. "You can fly? I never knew."

"So can you, but you have to take your shoes off."

To Walter's credit, he was not convinced.

Just acknowledging that this is funny makes it tolerable. Cracking up can keep caregivers from, well, cracking up.

"Bill and I are training his dad to 'go toward the light,'" said my friend Anne, whose father-in-law no longer recognizes his family. "Any light we see -- lamps, flashlights, the TV -- we steer him over there. We figure he can use the practice."

Of course, Anne isn't serious. Not being serious is how she and Bill are surviving. If you can't train your elder to go toward the light, you can make light of the situation. And sometimes, that light becomes splendiferous.

Ponder the nature of existence.

There's nothing like caring for the elderly to help you face your own mortality. Many caregivers told me that their experience was dissolving, through simple drudgery, their fear of death.

Pulitzer Prize--winning psychologist Ernest Becker wrote that the denial of death underlies all evils, and that we must drop this denial to live fully. The caregivers I interviewed would agree.

"Fear of death was my biggest obstacle in life," said Polly. "To help my dad, I have to get past it. He's showing me how to die, which is really helping me live."

Other caregivers went further. They said that as they watched the door close on their loved one's physical identity, a door to the metaphysical slowly opened.

"I don't believe in an afterlife, but as my mother died, I truly understood that being dead is no more frightening than being asleep, which I love."

"As my husband's body was failing, he became almost translucent. I went right through my own pain and felt the most intense peace. I can still find that."

"Just before my grandmother died in surgery, I heard her voice saying, 'I'm leaving now, but you'll be fine.' I've been less anxious about everything ever since."

This is why traditional cultures value even the most fragile, disoriented elder, why the Navajo carry "Grandmother's bones" with such reverent attention. Even as you grapple with the logistical and psychological stress of eldercare, there will be moments when you find yourself on the "blessing path."

Rather than a long day's journey into night, you'll feel yourself making a long night's journey into day: through fear and confusion to courage and wisdom. Receive this gift, the final one your parents can offer before they take off their shoes, jump out the window, and fly home

That really makes you think, doesn't it? That is why your sense of humor matters so much to us all you help in ways you can't even imagine and in your hard times you use that to cover up how you feel and the same time your pain is our relief. Really strange , peace to you, Michele

Dear Neon, I can't tell you how many times I have felt exactly the way you describe.  All used up, numb, uncaring, don't give a sh_t anymore, on and on I could go, but I wouldn't be helping anyone here, just dragging them down into the dark depths with me, which is not what I want to do.  If not for my beautiful children and grandchildren, and now the cute little doggie who sits patiently at my feet or side while I do things and follows me to every room, I too have contemplated the best way to take my own life without making a mess, or ruining the lives of the people I love the most. That would be the cowards way out. But I seriously need a vacation. We here love you Neon, and everyone else too, because we know more than most how you are feeling, and feel the same way. But today, I count my blessings again that we are still here, and alive, and able to see the beauty that God shows us each and every day, even though sometimes we may be too busy to see or notice. Take time, to see these things. I count my blessings that I am able to get up out of bed each and every day to see all that God can show us. I count my blessings that I do not have alzheimer's/dementia, yet anyway.

Neon, I couldn't help but notice one of your statements, "I guess I need to understand that I will take whatever love I get from wherever I get it and be satisfied,"

Don't you realize hon you are worth more than wherever you can get it? You don't deserve to be treated as you have. Start choosing now to make changes. Let me give you some pro-active options to help yourself start a bit. They don't go without struggles, but it will help you gain some freedom emotionally as well.

You can be who you are!!! You can! Others will NOT like it because they have been used to you one way for so long. That's okay!! Take baby steps. Your children learned to crawl before they could walk and they learned to walk before they can run.

Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is no different. Find one thing in your day that you are tired of. Make a determination of what you will or will not do. Then consciously say it out loud of what you won't do. Make that your one goal for the week (if its reoccurring). Watch what happens.

We don't have to go before God cowering and feeling unworthy. There is no way. Do you like it when your children come before you cowering or feeling unworthy? You love them regardless. It's no different for any of us here as caregivers.

Neon, its not about pride, its not about guilt, its not about being ashamed to take care of yourself. It's that we've believed a lie for so long we do not know any other reality. I know for my own life for the first time I can honestly say my life to this point has been a blessing. If not for all the verbal abuse, narcissistic behavior from mom, and everything else, I never would have realized what was lost. I wouldn't be where I am now. Now it is a time for healing. Now it is a time for restoring, and enjoying my life. The same can be said for you hon..... (((((Neon)))))

Neon have a good night I hope you realize how valueable you are to me and the rest of our gang-I have spent the day on the phone being a squeky wheel or a pain in the butt to the nursing home and social worker and boy does it feel good-talk to you tomarrow.

thank you NAUS, Mitzi, and Austin, I started that Sunday, My mother is perfectly capable of fixing meals, she does it all day long, the proof is in the sink or dishwasher or sitting on the stove when I get home from work, so sunday and last night I made myself something to eat and not her, (this hurt my heart not to do it but for once she needs to know how she makes me feel) well after she realized I didn't fix her anything she went to the kitchen and huffed and puffed talked under her breathe, whewed about 50 times but made herself something to eat, there is plenty of food in my house, it behooves me that she doesn't have the sense or the desire to make a meal for a daughter, the only child who will take her in. As for my husband, I put the mirror on my car myself, I bought a tire thing that puts air in your tire by plugging into a cigarette lighter in your car until I can get a new tire, which I asked him to order about three weeks ago! Today I will pick up the touch up paint I ordered yesterday to fix the scratches on my car and I have two little dents I will put a plunger on that and see if I can pull them out first. As of last sat. I will not ask him to do another thing for me, I will also ignore him (play hard to get as they say) not that I really want him at this time, I've had it up to 5 ft 2 1/2 inches and I'm only 5'2". It hurts my heart to treat them like that and apparently my son is treating his other half the same way according to her blog on myspace so I just told her last night if that is really how you feel now is the time to get out and my son cannot come back home because I have no room. So he will learn early maybe what his father should have learned 32 years ago. I am giving him 6 years just to get adjusted. Apparently he is very comfortable in our relationship and doesn't think he needs to do anything but have a job which is very notable but I have one to and always have had one. I am not the only person living in that house. and I call it a house because it isn't a home I've always wanted a home because I never had one as a kid we moved over 52 times just because the rent was due. I could have had one awesome life If I would have moved to different states or countries but sometimes it was only down the street how ridiculous is that. So I am working on it This week end will be the hardest the first one I actually do my own thing and not say a word about what I am doing because Its all about my husband he knows everything and my mother she knows everything to I the capable one seem to know nothing. Funny how that works out isn't it? You all have a great day. and thanks for all the encouragement I will not get too comfy sometimes things will go smoothly for about 2 or 4 weeks than bingo back to square one so this time I will keep my guard up and make sure they know exactly how I feel about how they respond or don't respond to me. I don't think after 38 years of marriage it is too much to ask your husband to spend a day with you in six months I have been talking about a date night for about 20 years now and that hasn't happened so those of you who do those please enjoy I am sure it keeps you in touch, I realize my husband and I have nothing in common except a child and right now I don't even like my child. Terrible mother aren't I?

Dear Sweet Neon, you are not a terrible mother. You remind me so much of my own dear mother, God rest her soul. She was so giving, and had so much love to give, and always had a smile for me each and every morning, even though I was not a morning person, and a grump. She always put others before herself. I am not saying that is the way to do things, because she died at age 51. But I too understand about the attention deficit in a relationship. My husband used to travel a lot years ago, and when he came home, the tv was on before you knew it, and that was all she wrote. Never mind that I was stuck at home all week long with three kids to take care of and a house. I wanted to do something and he wanted to just rest. They get comfortable, so to speak. It's okay, we just have to be patient. Just take an interest in some hobbies, or other activities that YOU enjoy, and soon he will take notice, and come crawling, and craving for YOUR attention. That's right, play hard to get, it always works. We love you dear Neon! Funny how each of us wants to help fix other's problems when we can't even fix our own. Maybe it's because other people's problems seem easier than our own. Who knows, I'm ranting, sorry. Big giant hugs to you all! Have a good day my dear friends.

thank you NAUS, it's always easier to see things from the outside looking in. When a person experiences something they don't step back to look at the situation they just react. and thats what I have been doing. I am working on it. But the trouble is I do have lots of hobbies and activities and it doesn't seem to matter even when we go to play cards he doesn't play he sits in another room and watches tv or goes with our son to shoot pool so there still is no togetherness unless you want to count the 12 minutes it takes to get there.

Dear NEON I am proud of you taking an action for yourself always helps me the husband is acting like a victum but I fought like a pit bull for him yesterday and I am not staying for people to get in touch with me I called medicare the ombudsmen the health department the dietican and the nurses and told everyone I expect him to get better care and to be given fluids and if he does not feel well in PT not to wait until he passes out to get a nurse. You keep being strong no one is listening and good for you to have your Mon get her own meals- I eat my meals alone when I am pissed at him why would I want to be around someone who is not nice to me,you take care my dear and will talk later ok little sister.

I forgot to add the 12 minute drive is usually in silence which then I turn my oldies up and sing to the top of my horrible lungs LOL or I have to hear about what he did and how great he is gets on my last nerve sometimes we never talk about us, there are no goals, well we couldn't have any right now anyway for the house that is but there was one I was going to get a pool for free he told me about and now he has changed his mine I don't need it???? but he could take two or three hours and do something but he won't and thats fine soon I will be meeting all kinds of people and I won't be there at all so thats the way the cookie crumbles and I ain't cleaning up the crumbs.!!!

Thanks Austin, glad you got all that stuff out of the way there is only so much even you can do He sounds like he and my mother would get along really really good they could start a new soap opera as the stomach turns or who can pass out the fastest win XXX $ good game show or a reality tv show who will survive? I am being sarcastic and sick but hey that's who I am.

Neon you keep me laughing-I got good news there are keeping him for 2-3 more weeks I have to meet again next week with the group and then he will probably stay another two weeks YES -I am so bad but to br truthful I do not want him home now I can go to my voleenteer job and church on Wed evenings for another few weeks oh freedom-you stay strong girlfriend-have to go out and pick the rhubarb and chives -got my flowers planted my son gave me for mothers day and some sunflower seeds planted and did the food shopping for the next 10 days done and kept within my budget.

Neon, action is the best medicine to help you feel better. It is good you are fixing your stuff yourself, making sure you eat, and (hopefully) some rest. No one wins if you get sick or worse. Take care of yourself and know GOD loves you and we care!
Jerome

Hi all, thought I'd let you know we had our meeting today with all Dad's caretakers at the skilled nursing center and all went really well. I was suprised how they all had really good attitudes this time and we felt comfortable instead of on edge.He is making good progress I'm so glad. Now we will see probably 2 weeks and then he'll be able to leave and go into an assisted living or stay there on a different floor in an alzheimers unit.We will see how all goes and still check out some other facilities, they are out of pocket and so very expensive.

Here is the beauty I find in this thread.... the blessings are found only to discover hurts and pains. But through the compassion of others and the persistent search for peace we come back to the thread about blessings.

Isn't this just a blessing in itself? It is finding healing where hearts are hurting. It is looking beyond all the muck and mire and finding a glimpse of sparking beauty. Like after cleaning all the dirt and arguments, suddenly in a bright moment we can find thankfulness in finding the laughter of a parent dancing suddenly without cause. Perhaps after a harrowing day we can find an ounce of gratitude for when a parent let's us tuck them in and says "I love you".

These are the blessings that get lost in all the garbage that goes on. Maybe we found a social worker who went out of their way to help any one of us accomplish a task.... these are the daily blessings.

When I look among all the tears, struggles, and anger.... I see a heart for a people who love unconditionally. Thank you all for being my blessings. Thank you for helping me realize situations in my life I have to be grateful for.

Did I count enough? :)

Hi everyone, thank you for the words of encouragement Jerome, yes, I am feeling better and I am a person of action, I have my mirror put on, I picked up the paint yesterday and touched up my car, I bought a tire inflator just need to get that new tire and will do it in about three weeks when I have the cash. So 3 outta 4 ain't bad I have been eating but I am one when upset I have no desire for food I have been going to bed at 9:30 and getting up at 5 get on pc and have my coffee play a few games to get my head working sharpens my mind jump in the shower in between take care of my two dogs and my three cats and the strays who just had babies, seems no one likes to take care of their pets so I just keep gathering more costs alot to feed them and is a lot of work but they are so loving. I am suppose to get rid of one of my dogs but training her the best I can while I work, I do run home at lunch time to let them out then they have to wait until I get home so they have to wait approx 4 hours between going out and I think they can do that my one I am supposed to get rid of has accidents in the house once in awhile so I have been putting it in the yard hoping she will get the hint that it's okay to go in the yard. Seemed to work yesterday I will be able to gauge it better today. Tomorrow I have lunch with the little girl I mentor I only have two more lunches with her than school is out. I got permission from her grandmother to see her over the summer so want to plan a few things for us to do together. Her mom is in jail and her father is there sometimes and sometimes not just whenever it pleases him I guess. I really have a problem with people who are all about them selves she is 10 and so beautiful. I had her picture taken and bought her some special ones as that will probably be the only time she will have something like that done unless I'm still alive when she graduates and she better graduate. She is so forlorn and listless and doesn't share much just have to pick up on little nuances. So that will keep me going. Will plan a picnic maybe a trip to the zoo I'm a little old for six flags they would have to push me around in a wheel chair LOL, bad arthritis. but I can still do things, think I will have her over one sat and we can bake something and play a game or read a story or just hang out she might like the personal attention for a whole day. than plan a cook out for her and invite her little brother as well and give her grandma a break.
So I have lots of interest, I am almost finished a painting of cape Hatteras for a special friend who wants to give it to his wife for their anniversary He likes really bright colors and its a little bright for me especially the sky he wanted a orange sunset but whew its too orange so need to work on that put the shadows and highlights in work on the sand a little, put some grasses in and a few little details than that will be done, going to clean out the utility room this week end, and find time to enjoy my front porch, checked on my vegetable garden last night and there are lots of tomato and pepper buds cukes and squash are a little behind but its been really cool here lots of strange weather. but when it gets hot it will be hot. LOL Well my husband will be home tomorrow morning haven't heard from him all week so that tells you alot I asked him three weeks ago to give me a call when he got the chance so guess he has no chances. I think thats kinda pitiful myself but thats my opinion and I am entitled to my opinion. and he's entitled to his just lets me know how much he really does care. Actions speak much louder than words. and my words from now on at least to him I keep to myself. Well I guess I've rambled on long enough time to get something accomplished. Thank you all for caring and have a good day you sure help me alot.

So glad things went well for you and your Dad Micheleangel that makes all the difference in the world.

Mitzi your are the greatest, it is good when you are in the same pathway as others to look at their distress and garner as much info as you can to help see your own situation. My mother there is not going to be any changing she's been this way all her life and I can't expect her to change its just a wait it out game, she was always good at mind games playing me against my sister, and I do believe she has finally gotten it after all these years she has no control over me and can not hurt me anymore I just need to get that thru my thick head about my husband. But there is change in the air and Nanny McFee is about to appear LOL

Neon, how awesome is this that you mentor a young girl??? Darling!! Think about how awesome this is!! Despite everything else you provide this girl with love she cannot get from a normal situation. You are her provision. :)

This girl is fortunate enough to have you to be a blessing in her life. This is a gift from God to be a blessing when you know what it is like to be without and still extend it. Wow! You go girl!!

As far as the Nanny McFee.... lol well, no comment. I do m own fair share to get out of the bondages that have held me for far too long. :)

Glad to hear you are painting and expressing and sharing in the lives of other youth. Keep being an inspiration! You are to us that's for sure.

Neon -I am so proud of you helping a young child when my older brother and I were young a sunday school teacher had us over to his house to spend time with his family just for fun no work like at home and I still remenber that. I want to do more I think my thing will be trying to get help for people like us who so need help and have to go on medicade to get affordable help so the husband can stay home and I get assistance so I do not die first. If we had more people like you what a wonderful world this would be they always say ask a busy person if you want something. The state inspectors were at the nursing home what a difference I thought I was on the wrong floor three nurses were making my husband more comfortable for lunch and theeven asked me if I would like some lunch- wait until they find out I called our state board of health I only wanted to talk to an ombudsmen but they would not help me and told me I had to call the BOH. I found a site for spouses of disabled people but they want a membership fee so I clicked off right away and I do get support from this form.

well thanks guys but I know who this little girl is all to well they didn't have such when I was growing up and once in awhile someone from church would ask if we could go home with them for the sunday afternoon, had a meal played with their kids and they brought us back after evening service it was so nice, that is what told me there were people who lived different than I did, I also patterned myself after a teacher or two and some other ladies I have met in my lifetime, believe it or not my best friend when I was sixteen was a 56 year old lady I will never forget her she had nothing but was such a blessing to me I would do anything for her. anyway I have a question

I think my mother is slipping very fast, I just went home for lunch let the dogs out found one of their water bowls in the dining room and one on the kitchen counter with a little bit of water in it,, I hung up the towels, threw in some rugs to wash, swept the kitchen took out the trash finished loading the dish washer and turned that on and my mother says... ahem....

Do your dogs carry their bowls around? Well they never did before but if they were thirsty they might, one is a husky one is a shepard, she says well I gave them water, I said no you didn't you left it on the counter, well I didn't want to give them water! (okay guys here is where I need your help) am I confused. They had full bowls this morning when I left at 7:45 granted they drink a lot of water, thus I go home at 12:30 or 1:00 to let them out and give them more water something to chew on, let them know I haven't abandoned them, etc. This is how I keep my youthful figure LOL . Than I went to the bathroom and there was dried up mess on the floor in front of the toilet where she apparently tried to clean it up but she won't have her cataracts removed thus she cannot see properly and of course, she cannot hear properly, Is she just going down hill now and these are the beginning signs I can't tell I don't know why I can't tell I'm an intellegent person but I just need a little information to back up what I might suspect or maybe just don't know. I know some of you have had situations beyond this and I did with my mother in law but her problems were different, my mother has not been diagnosed with dementia or anything like that and when I brought up the fact that she had bowel problems , to me if you eat at 4:19 and are running to the bathroom at 4:27 you have bowel problems this happens after everything she eats but she sits in the doctors office and says oh no I don't have any problem going to the bathroom that was 16 days ago. The doctor believes her I am not picking on her but I'm not going to put myself thru any more than I have to the worse thing will be to take her boxes away from her yi yi yi I NEED HELP

The docs always listen to the husband-on Mon the social worker told me he was on meds for high blood pressure and I said NO NO NO he does not have high BP today I told him about and somehow while the state inspectors were there it was pointed out he fainted 3 times and spent 5 days in the hospital and I have to pay $1000.00 in bed hold fees because he got meds he should not have and water was not given for at least 1 day- they were made aware over two days ago of this happening.

Austin I do believe I would become that squeaky wheel and lay it out on the table for them one more time thats alot of money when you don't have it. Let them know he had medications he wasn't supposed to have let them know he had no fluids call the hospital social worker, there should be some liason between the hospital and the nursing home. Call the State again if you have to call your senator, call your govenor call a tv station call everybody yes it takes time but its time people stand up for whats right and stop brushing things under the carpet you need my help email the numbers with some good facts I'll do it I am not afraid to get involved and in my present state of mind I can give anyone a piece of my mind very sweetly and get my points across with out raising my voice and incidently when I don't raise my voice thats when you're in big trouble. I'll let them know they are barking up the wrong tree. Right this minute I think I could even take on city hall. LOL

Hey all, I just wanted to give credit where it's due to my husband. I complain alot about how my siblings do nothing for me or my parents and it's hard when you try to do it all. I honestly am so grateful for my husband who always steps up to the plate to help me and my kids do too. I don't know what I would do without them. We have had our share believe me of ups and downs but as I'm writing this he went to the dr appt. to be there with my Dad and just called me Dad's ambulance just arrived. I am so stressed lately and he took off work this morning to go.I just wanted to share that in this thread Oh this made me cry we had our meeting with social workers etc. the other day to see how long they think my Dad will be there and when we walked in and my Dad saw my husband he said "this is a good guy he helps me a lot he's my friend" we both had tears in our eyes That is the first time in a few weeks that my Dad made complete sentences from surgery and drugs and getting used to this new place and all, but it was so sweet for my husband and the nurses and all were so taken by that it really made everyone in such a good mood to start the meeting!! Just wanted to tell you all that, thanks for letting me. Michele

Micheleangel, that is so heart warming and commendable. God bless you I know it's hard well my earlier post was removed because I broke a law and I do apologize did not know it was a law. You all have a good day I am yet struggling tohelp myself no cigarette this day I can do it I know I can I just have to set my mind and not pay attention to anyone else, I am so alone anyway so I can depend on myself. Gonna miss them no matter what they do to the body they have always been there for me for the last 44 years but better do it before they get me. My doc said My lungs are that of a woman my age who does not smoke so quit while I'm ahead or a lung or something

Hi dear friends! Neon, I am so proud of you, you can do it. I had to quit smoking 16 years ago, because I became so ill, and couldn't breathe. I couldn't smoke, and I surely loved smoking. The doc said I had chronic bronchitis, but I was so sick and it took six months before I could breathe almost normally again, without feeling like I was dying. It took EVERYTHING I had just to get my kids fed, and off to school in the morning, then I could do nothing after that, because I was struggling just to breathe. It is the most horrible feeling I have ever had in my life. Quitting smoking was the best thing I have ever done for myself, and my family too. Dear Neon, I know you can do this. If I can do it, ANYBODY can. You must do it for you! You will feel so much better. My FIL has had emphysema for years now, and lives on oxygen 24/7, and can do nothing. He sounds like darth vader when he tries to breathe without oxygen. I count my blessings that I did this, and you can too. Good Luck Neon! Hugs to you, and to all my friends here. I also count my blessings that dad actually liked the assisted living facility that he toured yesterday. Wish me luck!

Neon- can you tell us what law you broke so we do not do it if not ok just wondering you take care girlfriend

I posted my email addresses thought I would give you a hand with contacting people so don't give your email address on this site no personal information which I find really funny Isn't all of this personal?

I thought that was what is was on classmates I did get away with that twice I was surprised but I only wanted to email a few old classmates and then I would know if it went through to or got lost in cyberspace, but I do like this site as it is because we can all get involved hope you have a good weekend if you can I am going to enjoy being alone except I will have to go over to see the husband i guess- maybe on Sunday after church.

I found out my husband is home sunday I have church he won't go I will be late getting back as we are having lunch than will have to come home and cook for him by that time it will be time to go back to church so no big deal to me. from now on I treat others as they treat me no more treat others as you want to be treated I do and do to no avail. So I might be able to relax Monday don't know tomorrow will be full of housework tonight the viewing and get the house work and laundry stated. Always so much mundane stuff to do I feel like the live in help if I had the money I would hire someone to come once a week just to dust vacuum and mop the floors clean the bathrooms I could keep up with the rest now that it is soon to be nice short of rain I want to be outside. I didn't say I didn't like this site I just thought it was funny that we share such intimate thoughts and can't share email to help each other in dire circumstances but thats fine I don't need another thing to do really unless I get paid for it. Going to really start thinking like others LOL I do enough volunteering. Well maybe it will be nice to see your husband for a little while you never know he sure has a lot of time to think but probably like the rest just thinking of himself. Have a good week end everyone I need some in person friends so I can start partaking of some festivities.

Dear Neon, good luck and try to enjoy your weekend no matter what. About the treating of others as they treat you, I know you will not be able to pull that off for long because it's not in your nature, you have a kind and generous giving heart, and can't help yourself, when it comes to doing good for others. Hugs to you girlfriend!

I posted on needing to vent so maybe that will explain and yes NAUS I know you are right but sometimes a girl needs to try it at least. Thanks for believing in me and its so funny how you can know me so well and others can't well maybe they do but they like to push my buttons I don't know not a psycologist took me three tries to spell that one. LOL well better get back to work

Hi Neon, wow you are the action girl!! My last name is Menefee, It used to be McFee
oh 380 years ago when we came to Jamestown. There was a cat named 'baby' who belonged to a daughter who didn't know how to care for her. The daughter's mother (neighbor) moved to Kansas to care for her father and left the cat at the house. I was asked to watch the cat while no one was there while the daughter was to take the cat to the country'. Well the cat let me know it was willing to be adopted, then it adopted me!
My dog, (Dachshund) and the cat are willing to get along however they refuse to modify their personalities one bit. It is quite funny.
Mitzi, my mom mouthed the words "I love you" even though she has not spoken a known language in quite a while. I'd say that was a Bright Spot!
I have been caring for a neighbor who has dementia the past 14 days so I haven't had much time to catch up on posts. Jerome