...and that made me cry. Well, she said they're scared of me. WHAT?!?! I try so HARD to be likable and keep everyone happy, especially in light of everything that's gone on. I don't want to make things difficult for Dad, but I need to be there until the house is done.
Since I can't afford to have them bathe Dad, I do it.
I've completely stopped mentioning the portable oxygen thing although it's normally not plugged in when I arrive or not turned off and plugged in (which means it's not charging). Outside of the first reminder notes I placed near Dad's oxygen station, I don't communicate that way.
I change the trash myself because they were using small wastebasket bags in a 13 gallon can and Dad was getting coffee all over the trash can from throwing away half empty styrofoam cups in the can and the bag collapsing because it's too small.
I do his laundry because they kept using the wrong detergent and it was breaking Dad out.
I clean the bathroom (in addition to them) because Dad... misses and it smells bad.
...and I say NOTHING. It's just easier to do it myself instead of mentioning it. I think constantly repeating something to no avail is a waste of time, so I just do it.
So... why do they hate me? I speak to everyone and thank them. I ask about certain things (especially since he's been having bowel issues...), but I try to be REALLY nice when I ask. I don't yell or raise my voice. I try to use my nice words "What can WE do? Could WE possibly try this? I need YOUR help. Thank you for what you do... Let's find a solution TOGETHER..."
I know they HATE to see me coming and would probably prefer that I don't come as often to check on things, but I would worry myself silly if I didn't check and it's just easier for me to shut up about things and do it myself. I'm in codependent hell.
...and the thing is... why don't they just TELL me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it? I HATE the South for that reason. Everyone's smiling in my face like things are fine and reporting back to the principal (Hospice nurse) about the big, bad daughter.
...Yuck. I'm in a bad mood now.
I can't wait until this house is finished so I can just cut out the middle man and not have to step on eggshells for everyone.