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Don't argue that they have been wearing that smelly shirt for four days, that no, they did NOT change it already, no need to make them even more belligerent and bewildered. Instead, you say, "YES, AND your mom wants you to wear those new pajamas she sent. She will be so glad you remembered! Oh, let's hurry! She'll be here soon! Let's change and then go pick some flowers to give her when she arrives! "
When you go to give them breakfast and they're handwringing and upset because "the wedding is today!" Or "where are the children?!" Just play along and steer the reality. "
YES, and we need to get ready.." "they're with those friends from church until later today...."
This is such a sad, hard job. But the "visit fantasy" helps tremendously. It helps you, it helps them even more. Imagine how scary and disconcerting it must be to wake up surrounded by semi-strangers in a weird place where nothing works as it should and you're confused and bewildered, and you just want to go HOME. Then these strangers tell you your mom had been dead for twenty years and that this IS your house-- what is happening?! Why are these awful people trying to trick you?! And then they pull out an old funeral program, or the family Bible and oh my gosh, that looks like YOUR havdwriting with your mother's death dare written in it, and the wave of heartbreak and fresh grief overwhelms you, and you'll do anything to get out of this dystopia nightmare, and the nightmare keeps happening over and over, and cones in waves, and no one understands, and they keep calling you "grandpa", but you're nobody's grandpa, you're not old enough, why are tey trying to play this evil trick. You just want to go HOME. You want your MOTHER.
Join them in that reality and reassure them. "Let's get your hair washed since your mom is coming to pick you up. What should we make for our dinner with her?" Distract and reassure. Over and over and over.



Hope this advice is helpful!

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I will remember this as I walk this journey. THANK YOU💕
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Again, thanx for sharing. Good advice and such truth.
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